Look at that coinbox. All smug. Smiling. Withholding its shiny goodness. Teach it a lesson why don't you, in John Cooney's latest absurd arcade game chock-full of upgrades, coins, heavy weaponry, and polka music. Though fairly repetitive and slow to start, it's a silly, frantic game with a surprise ending that might just catch you off guard.
Somewhat less popular than the Cave of Pleasant Strolls and Cave of Moderately Priced Giftshops, this simple arcade game throws you into a cave that's literally falling apart behind you and tells you to run as fast as you can for as long as you can. It looks great, though it lacks variety, and you have to wonder about someone who goes inside a place with the words "No Return" there in the name.
Hippos may look adorably squishy and cuddly, but get on their bad side and they're about as terrifying as an animal can become without also being mounted on a charging grizzly bear. (With a copy of Fatal Frame taped to its head.) So it might behoove you to perfect the art of chucking watermelons in their gaping mouths in this physics game. You know, just in case you're ever in a situation where you have a rampaging hippo coming straight at you and several melons in easy reach. Isn't that a Boy Scouts badge?
If you're looking for Boomshine but sleepier, look no further than this simple, dreamy little game about chain reactions, pleasant music, and things bumping gently against other things. You can practically hear each bubble exclaim, "Oh, no no no, pardon me," every time it happens.
Euclid taught us that spheres are masters of espionage. Tactical espionage, that is. One might even say tactical espionage action. Metal Sphere Solid is a short game that can be completed in five to ten minutes, but it's still an innovative take on the stealth genre. A longer game of this nature would be great, but everyone with a bit of time to spare should give Metal Sphere Solid a shot. It certainly beats geometry class!
It was a time of peace. The tribe was ruled by a fair and just leader named Bold, a ruler known across the plains for his fairness and generosity. However, trouble was brewing in the Mountains of Moira: Rangor the Terrible had raised a dread army of conquest, and sprung an attack in which no prisoner was taken. With his village decimated and his son kidnapped, Bold once again took up the garments of a warrior to lay siege to the hordes pillaging the land. Oh... and by the way, Bold is a Beaver. That would presumably explain why the name of Rob Almighty's new RPG-brawler is Battle Beavers. 'Twould only make sense.
In this unique defense shooter you'll help the eponymous Granny as she fends off snowmen commanded by aliens who need her raspberry jam to fuel their spaceship. Yes, you read that right. Well... what else do you use jam for? If you're a fan of the genre, you'll be hard pressed not to like this one; it's silly, beautifully designed, fun, and just like Grandma used to make.
The world of Wonderputt is a delightfully surreal locale. It's adventure golf like you've never seen or played before. Behold the wonders and beautiful animation as you putt for the lowest score in this 18 hole amazing mini-golf game.
Pizza City has so much in common with the first two Grand Theft Auto games it seems to fall somewhere between spoof and demake. Like the notorious crime sims from Rockstar Games, you roam a city with virtual free reign in your car via a bird's eye view. There is a main goal (delivering pizzas and working your way up the pizzeria career ladder), but there are also plenty of other side quests to undertake, too. Pizza City isn't for everyone and the relatively simple gameplay may turn some off, but there's more depth lurking here than meets the eye and it definitely rewards those who choose to stick with it.
Is there a occupation cooler than Vampire Hunter? After seeing the exploits of Van Helsing, Buffy, Blade, Alucard and D, I'd be surprised if high-schoolers don't flock around the recruiting table at the yearly career day. However, not all of us have time for the years of intensive training that is required to spot vampires on sight. Thankfully, the University of Winconsin's Center for Game Science has developed an online training program that will focus your Vampire Vision through a combination of arcade puzzling and hidden object spotting... and it just might improve your regular vision too.
Geez, you win a few races and you think you can take on the world! robotJAM and longanimals have gone mad with power and are using their new theme park, Ninja World, to train deadly ninja assassins... your former competitors, in fact! Set out to stop them the only way you know how (namely, through stunts, minigames, and sweet, sweet air time) in this wonderfully silly racing game packed with secrets and unlockables.
Awrite! Time to blast some things in space! Did you know that if you took a real laser gun into space, fired it, and tried to eat a sandwich, the sandwich would taste like pizza? You wouldn't know it from this shooter, though, because it's all about dual stick-type control, moving in one direction and simultaneously firing in the other. Nice techno-ish design, complete with pulsing visuals and a thumping soundtrack. And the first boss? A vector cube. How retro awesome is that?!
Did you know the word "runatic" is a combination of the two words "run" and "attic"? You can tell because this crazy arcade game (no offense intended) is all about running! You have escaped from the asylum, and now you're running around with a curtain rod (or is it a giant Q-tip?) beating everything up in sight. Complete goals to get things, then beat up a building just because you can. It's pretty much straight-up destructive carnage with a few missions tied to it, but boy is it fun running around in that attic. (Note: Attic is what I call everything outside of my office.)
Did you know that the practice of upgrading enemies dates back to beetles in the 14th century? It's true! Just like this unique little shooting game, the beetles of old would use glue-like spittle and attach weapons onto their foes, increasing their stats while they received a random stat upgrade of their own. Then, each round became an exercise of moving close to the bad guy, taking them out one at a time, and hoping they survived to the next upgrade!
From Nitrome comes this physics-based action game, Skywire. You control a small chairlift that runs a crazy path through the sky. Three passengers are on board who would appreciate if you got them to the goal unharmed. A variety of obstacles stand in your way, from birds dropping bombs, deranged-looking pandas, and whales that leap from the sea. Each hit you take knocks a passenger from the car. Lose all three and you have to start over again.
Hey good lookin'! Whatcha got cookin'?... oh, whoa, that's your pants I smell burning? Well, guess I shouldn't have expected any less from Cuboy, who it seems this time is racing down a rocky (cube-y) slope ahead of lava in this arcade game, trying to avoid being burnt to cinders. It's highscore arcade action, starring everyone's favourite blockhead... assuming you're not a Peanuts fan, of course.
I ain't afraid of no ghost, and you won't be either after you play this haunt hunting game. You job is to track down glowing orbs and other supernatural beings in various spooky locations, and then absorb them for study without killing them... somehow? I mean... how does that even work? You can't kill something that's already dead unless your last name is Summers or Hellsing, right? Man, this is some heavy metaphysical stuff... I think I need to go lie down...
In Ninja Kiwi's latest, you play as a lovely young student at Beauxbaton Academy where you are chosen to represent at the Triwizard Tou... what? Oh. OH. Flur, not Fleur. Well, that changes things! In this arcade game you play a beautiful glowing fairy collecting orbs of light so you can go compete in the Triwizard TOH FINE... glowing orbs of light so you can collect more glowing orbs of light, only faster and shinier. Sounds like a good evening to me!
In Soul Tax, a new possession puzzle platformer, the story centers on these two facts of... death. See, you're a ghost who's been haunting this extremely complex office complex, and one day the grim reaper shows up and lets you know that you owe tax on all the time you spent being an ethereal spirit. And how are you going to pay these taxes? Easy. Defenestration and pixelated murder.
Like to point and shoot? How about follow directions... or even figuring them out? In this puzzle shooter with just 21 levels, the goal is to find out what the goal is, and what the rules are in any given situation. With funky pop instrumentals, minimalistic style, and and clever approach to classic cannon action, it's the perfect tidbit of blasting for your day.
Toxie Radd 3D is a first-person, rail-shooter in which you will be blasting away zombies. Playing as the Gatling gun-armed Joe, you'll have to stay on your toes as you shoot and dodge your way through several 3D levels.
Ready for some brawling? Superfighters from MythoLogic Interactive is a single-screen single-player or 2-player versus fighting game replete with weapons, tactical maneuvers, and chunky pixel art your eyes will adore. It's a game where little dudes shoot, stab, burn, kick, shoot (again) and trick each other until they pass out from non-livingness, and once that round is over, you get to do it all over again!
Despite what certain felines may endorse, I've never been a fan of sushi. Maybe that's because it typically isn't served to me while I'm flying through the air, gobbling down shrimp and rolls as I avoid explosives and stuff my pockets full of coins! Such is the aim of this disarmingly adorable yet simple little arcade game. So go ahead; get your nom on. Teppanyaki would be infinitely more entertaining with live grenades, I'll tell you that much.
Most shooters not physics-sy enough for you? Then fire up Ant Karlov's creative spin on the genre! Start with sprawling levels, mix in some highly destructible scenery, and sprinkle liberally with zombies, machines, skeletons, and explosive barrels, and you've got a recipe for success. (... success... tastes funny... )
Don't you just hate when you wake up and find out that the sun is exploding? Yeah, me too. What with the shock waves of the supernova and the imminent threat of incineration, it just about ruins your whole day. Then you have to pack up everything into the family rocket ship and blast from world to world in your solar system, and because of the ever-approaching wall of flame, there's no time for sight-seeing. All you can do is try to stay one step ahead of the heat-death. Such is the premise of Run from the Sun, by FreakyZoid. And considering the title, it's kind of ironic that it's a game you'll want to run towards as quickly as possible.
I feel like I should be mad at someone for the time I spent on this when I was supposed to be working on three other reviews. (Sorry boss.) This simple arcade avoidance game is the sort of thing you decide is silly within thirty seconds, and are still playing five minutes later even though "there's no point to it". Well, other than to experience the love-it-or-hate-it flashy phenom that is Nyan Cat, I guess. You control a... cat... of sorts... hurtling through space, collecting treats and avoiding vegetables for as long as you can. Why? Dude, seriously; this is the internet. When have we ever had a reason for our obsession with preposterous cat memes?
Somewhere deep in the blackness of infinite space, there have to be all sorts of life forms bouncing around the void. Space clowns, for example, could exist here, living off of stray particles or digesting dark matter itself. With these life forms comes the inevitable life forms that feed off of them. In the case of Space Parasite, an arcade/action game by Kale Kramlack and Andy Wolff, you are that life form, infecting every piece of space life that floats your way!
Helios Minor is under attack, and you're the only one close enough to respond to the distress signal! Fortunately, it's nothing you can't handle... just hundred and hundreds of vicious, fast, resilient enemy fighters and thousands and thousands of space bullets! Upgrade your ship and go up against the tide of foes in this vertical scrolling shooter!
Zip down the road in this stylish arcade game, dodging the cops as your wanted level rises, while trying to rack up sweet, sweet moolah to upgrade your vehicle.
Maybe I'm expecting crime syndicates to have a unreasonable level of precognition, but I gotta say... I really can't see a situation in which killing the family of a guy named Mr. Vengeance is going to end positively. I mean, you have to think that with that name might get a little ticked off and have access to revenge-friendly weaponry. But hey, you have to kick off a rail shooter somehow, and you can't argue with what works. It's Mr. Vengeance: Act One by Russian developer TxGames. He'll roar. He'll rampage. He'll get bloody satisfaction.
Simple does not mean that there's any less action, it just means there's more bullets and less to think about. No grenades, one weapon at a time, simple weapon shop and upgrades, it all means nothing but twitchy shooting action, one hundred percent of the time. Some might call it shallow, but I'd call it pure.
Snoopy would agree, vlambeer's little aerial dogfighting game is the neeeeeeeeeeowwwwwww, ra-tat-tat-tat-tatest title around. Swoop, dive, and stay alive as long as possible while blowing incoming foes out of the sky without getting filled full of holes yourself. Simple and addictive, it's just the ticket to polish up those rusty "running around the room with our arms out like an airplane going brrrrrrmmm" skills most of us left behind in the third grade.
I've been saying it for years; cats rule and adventurers drool! In this short little action title, you play the role of a kitten who was given to a traveling hero (it's dangerous to go alone, after all), and who might be a little bit better at this whole "hero" stuff than your new found master. Made in just 48 hours for a recent Ludum Dare, it's very short, but a true and accurate depiction of the role of kittens in the middle ages.
The end of the world was never so adorable. Death and his def posse (... that is what the kids say, right?) show up at your home one day, but rather than makin' trouble in your neighbourhood, they just want to shoot some hoops with you. Of course, you can't expect the Four Horsemen to play fair, and on each level you'll have to contend with each Apocalyptic baddie's attempts at hindering your shots. The gameplay may be simple, but it more than makes up for it with the downright cheeriest heralds of the end of days, ever.
You must sprint, kick, and bribe your way to athletic glory! Refusal to use exclamation points is counterrevolutionary! Grab a bowl of rocky road or double chocolate chip some morning and double your pleasure and/or fun by accompanying it with this game.
A young boy is cruelly mocked. Years later, he becomes a mad scientist and seeks to destroy the world by breeding giant rampaging monsters. If you've ever taken a Godzilla figurine and stomped it around a sandbox while providing your own terrified shrieks for the GI Joes and Barbies in your wake, Days of Monsters will provide that service while sparing your vocal cords.
Can you beat the evil black space rectangle in the bullet hell vertical shooter? In Boss Battle, you will guide your ship through endless bullets and obstacles as you pump thousands of bullets and missiles into a boss that gets stronger each round. The game employs simple graphics and gameplay, but is ultimately a fun, short break game.
If you belong to the X-Files generation, you probably already have a healthy distrust of aliens, and this arcade game isn't going to help much. Using the tools at your spaceship's disposal, your goal is to cause as much damage as you can to the hapless (but not helpless) city below. Why? Because you're an alien, and that's what aliens do when they're not being boring with Mel Gibson or making Donald Sutherland screech at us incomprehensibly.
MaXploder is a brand new action exploration game from Ninjadoodle, creator of the ClickPLAY! series. The president needs your help rescuing some archaeologists who have become trapped in an ancient tomb. The catch is that you have to save them by yourself with only your whip-like wits, a generous jumping ability, and an infinite store of bombs!
Wikipedia tells us that the Battle of Britain was a World War II bombing campaign waged by the German Air Force against the United Kingdom in mid-1940. It was the first military campaign fought nearly entirely by forces of the air, and those British that fought and prevailed inspired the famous Winston Churchill quote that "Never... was so much owed by so many to so few." And who were these few to which we owe said victory? Well, according to Black Moon Design's new real time strategy release, appropriately titled The Battle of Britain, they were a quartet of quipping, heavily-accented, impressively mustachioed flying-aces... Okay, perhaps a bit of history is lost in the adaptation, but it's fun.
Leap into a world of irresponsible driving and geometric collisions in Oslo Albet's simple but breezily fun and fast-paced 3D racing game! Swoop around the screen across 32 different courses, avoiding hazards and nabbing time bonuses, in an effort to lock in the high score and prove once again what all adults know... driving in the real world is boring.
Once you pop you can't stop! Blocks, that is! Blast chains of coloured blocks in this simple, simply fun, and simply addictive action arcade game from Andrew Morrish! Coloured blocks fall from the screen and it's up to you to destroy them before they reach the top, while staying away from the spikes and racking up a high score in the process.
Despite what my name would have many, many, many hi-larious souls to suggest, I am not much of an explorer. But you can be, if you fire up this wonderfully campy arcade game full of letter jackets, cheerleaders, dark forces, and man-eating slugs! Delve deep into a cave to rescue your cheerleader, collecting souvenir t-shirts and dying a whole bunch along the way. Awkward controls and stiff gameplay are what prevented my fellow review monkeys and I from giving this its own feature, but any shotgun aficionado who harbours a secret desire to be as close to turning into Bruce Campbell as humanly possible (ie, all of you) will still appreciate it.
Longanimals knows what you need, baby, and what you need is to stare at some furry round panda butt! Soar through unusual environments in a very Star Fox-type fashion (minus annoying bird and frog), grab power-ups, and blast... things! Adorable, bouncy, and simple to play, this game is full of that panda butt arcade action we all look for in our day. Plus, I can't help but think that Rocket Panda and Rock Lobster would make one heckuva garage band band.
We like the moon, even though it hasn't returned my Backstreet Boys CD I loaned it in junior high "just for the weekend". Still, the moon is pretty rad, and most of us are ready to defend it the only way we know how... by typing tiny words furiously to destroy aliens who are thoughtful enough to broadcast proper spelling as their only weakness! It's a simple, good looking little game that needs a bit more variety, but is just perfect for anyone who needs to feel like they've accomplished something today. Punk, I took down an alien armada, I think that's a little more important than "getting my work done".
Visual novel meets shooter meets RPG meets space opera meets awesome in this unusual hybrid from Anonymous D Studios. After decades of skirmishes and violent protests, the battles between the pirates and the Federation appears to be heating up, and one young pilot finds himself in the middle of it. Strike out on an hours long adventure that combines drama, romance, and fast-paced arcade action in this impressive game.
Goin Up is a new vertical-scrolling arcade platformer by Comix. Well... when I say "new", I guess I mean "recent" more than "novel". In truth, its gameplay feels more like a mish-mash remix of the mechanics of other releases than its own creation. However, what Goin Up lacks in innovation, it more than makes up for with style. After all, if I'm going to be steering my player-character into bombs to be propelled higher for the hundredth time, those bombs had better be darn pretty. And well... they are.
Sad armadillo is sad because he can't fly like the birds. He can run and roll, though, and with your help, he can do something remarkably close to flying! Dillo Hills is a browser-based action game similar to the iPhone release Tiny Wings. All you do in this simple physics-centric title is hold the [down] arrow key to dive towards the hills. When you hit terra firma you start to roll, coasting along the slopes to gain more and more speed. Release the button and soar high into the sky, picking up speed and traveling to distant lands in the process!
Anyone who has ever played the classic PC game Lemmings will recognize the gameplay in Dibbles. In each level, a troop of marching ant-like critters (who I suppose are the eponymous Dibbles) must be ferried to the exit point with as little loss of life as possible, taking special care to spare the life of the chief monarch Dibble. The fun in Dibbles is in breezing through the levels and seeing what other gruesome tasks you can set your Dibbles to executing. All For The Greater Good, of course.
While a healthy fear of large birds with fathomless eyes and beaks that can cut bone has kept most of us from taking up this sport of kings, now, thanks to Tom Fulp and his band of merry men (including dubious historical narration by none other than master of nerds and Things We Can't Unsee, Chris Hardwick), we can finally experience the glory that is falconry. In this arcade game. Simply master your grabs and your claws and you'll be the terror of helpless, soft-skinned mammals in no time. Make sure you watch the backstory video at least once; that thing deserves some sort of award.
As per usual with Tonypa games the difficulty curve in Regrebluli is pretty steep, but that's about the only complaint there is with this addictive, entertaining game. The one thing we can always count on with Tonypa is a simple idea (plain stark graphics and elementary gameplay) done exceedingly well.
It's not just apocalypse, it's the pocalypse, and zombies aren't the only thing you have to worry about in this beautiful, quirky little defense shooter from newcomers Green Pixel. Defend the city of New Hammerston against zombies, mutants, plant monsters, robots, and even vampires with an array of powerful weapons and abilities, and spend the cash you earn to upgrade your butt-kicking prowess.
If you've ever had sand kicked in your face at the beach by a vending machine, then this ridiculously over-the-top arcade game will provide some much needed closure. Unleash a massive array of upgradeable abilities and weapons, including volleyballs, lightning, guns, magic scythes, and lightsabers, to showcase the most "epic man vs vending machine" brawl ever.
Zombies are everywhere. And all you've got is a heavily armored bus that can be upgraded with shields, zombie-crunching bumpers, guns, and other equipment! Guess you'll have to do some reckless driving in order to rescue the survivors. Zombus is a top-down driving game from Game Launch Project, creator of Bunny Flags. The game features loads of blood, plenty of angry zombies, and a healthy dose of more blood. But, for a browser-based driving game, you'll be surprised how spot-on the controls (and overall sense of dread) are!
I appreciate the specificity of Space Arcade: The Game's subtitle. I was seriously worried for a couple minutes that I was going to have to deal with Space Arcade: The Hit Broadway Musical. However, as much as I crave toe-tappin' hits and elaborate choreography, I enjoy Galaga-inspired pixel shooter action even more. This appears to be music-meister Matt McFarland's debut game release, and it's so much fun that maybe he should consider quitting his day job.
A couple of months ago, we featured Insectonator by Denis Kukushkin and family. I thought i thought it was a fine shooter, and going by the site ratings, it seems that many of you agreed. However, I did have a small problem with it: as fun as it was to blast various anthropods into lymphatic chunks, the whole thing did seem just a shade sadistic. I mean, most of those beetles were just minding their own business. If only the developers came out with a version that featured enemies for which the average gamer had no compunctions eviscerating... something like, oh, I don't know, the stalking legions of the undead. Well, guess what, Insectonator: Zombie Mode is here, and with it comes new weapons, new arenas and new achievements. And zombies. Tiny, tiny zombies.
Pogosticks, like the hula hoop, lawn darts, and razor scooters, are one of those childhood toys I just somehow lacked the basic coordination to make work, so this little arcade game about mindless pogo-related violence is extremely cathartic. Pogo-dominate helpless pedestrians and heavily armored vehicles dressed like Lee Adam Harold's Butch for points to spend on various upgrades. Also just for funsies. Now, of course, any kids out there in the audience should never, ever do this sort of thing even if you manage to get your hands on an experimental government pogo-stick, but for the rest of us? Hey, we're adults, mass destruction with children's toys is totally our basic instinct, and we'll get to it right after we stay up past our bedtime and have ice cream for breakfast.
How I wish I was a starfighter! But since everything electronic I touch dies with a little digital squeal of pain and betrayal, it's probably best I live out my hopeless dreams vicariously through vertical shooters like this flashy little number. Less "bullet hell" and more "why, yes, these bullets are quite ripping today aren't they, old chum?", it's a simple but well done little blaster with upgrades and a pleasing amount of things that go boom.
EA2D and Evan Miller of Pixelante Game Studios combine forces to create this fun, frantic side-scrolling hack-and-slasher set in the Dragon Age universe from Bioware and EA's popular RPG series. As one man against a seemingly unending tide of demons, beasts, madmen, and more, do you have a chance to make your way across hostile terrain to victory? Master four different combat styles, topple massive bosses, and indulge in a little wholesome face-stabbing in this straight-forward but very fun action title from both Industry and Indie talents.
If there's one thing I loathe, it's those darn dirty zombies. Not just for their intentions re: my brains, but also how it seems that, as of late, some developers have used their antagonistic qualities to prop up uninspired game design. Every so often though, a game comes out that features the undead in a way that feels fresh and interesting... and since I already dodged one apocalypse this week, I was just about ready to go for two. That game is Jim P's new run and gun shooter, zOMGies 2.
Forget Tremors and Sarlacci, you've got Death Worms to worry about! Indie developer Play Creek brings 2007's smash arcade hit to your browser with sleek new graphics, fifteen levels, achievements, upgrades, thirty different enemies, and all the fanged, gaping maws you've ever wished for.
With its cute, cartoony visuals, throbbing music track, fast-paced action, and Super Mario-like platforming City Siege 2: Resort Siege is a wild ride through the world of special ops and hostage rescue. So you can't be a member of Seal Team 6 (which doesn't actually exist, anyway), try City Siege 2: Resort Siege and live out your wildest commando team fantasies of saving the day, killing the bad guys, and reducing some random unnamed resort to complete rubble.
Those gosh-darn Giraffe-neck-extending Russkies are at it again! No longer content to simply stretch their ungulates up through the stratosphere, now it seems that they won't be satisfied until they've gone across the horizontal horizon as well. Yes, it's Soviet Rocket Giraffe, an amusing new launch/platformer hybrid from Jmtb02, a guy who knows a little something about launching animals into space. And while some of the elements are more than a little familiar, there's no finer forgotten chapter of the space race than this, comrade.
The best toys are the ones you can get for twenty-five cents out of those vending machines at supermarkets. (I passed one just today that offered no less than fifty different painted rubber duckies.) The best toy you can get out of those are those tiny, hard rubber balls you can hurl at a hard surface with all your might and watch go ricocheting around the room with the force to break noses. Now imagine you could telekinetically control the speed and the direction, and you'd have this retro arcade game... kinda. It's all the destructive fun of the real thing, minus having to hide under the porch from your grandmother after you break her favourite flower vase. (She still can't prove that was me.)
Minerbot features a distinctive minimalist art style that might be confusing for the first couple runs. Once you get into the groove of the game, though, there's definitely an addictive quality to watching a collector hollow out a massive expanse of ore. The action's accompanied by a hopping techno soundtrack.
When a mighty warrior is turned into a zombie, he does what any self-respecting one-man army would do: find a good armorer, learn a few skills and go pound revenge into whoever needs it. Even if you just want to spend a few hours where you can indulge in mindless violence, but pretend you are delving in stats formulas and real-time strategy, join the ranks of the Zombie Knight.
Did you know about the Tower of London? It turns out it wasn't just a horrible prison for misbehaving djinni, it also house the royal menagerie! Just think about it, all those majestic creatures locked up behind those walls, so far away from home!... Which is kind of sad, I guess, except for the part where all the animals have the best rap faces, which takes it right back around to being awesome. This collection of minigames features each iconic beastie and some edutainment facts, but mercifully does not include a section where you pay to see a dog or a cat fed to the lions. London, man.
Retromundi knows the real reason there are no more wizards around isn't because they're "made up", but rather because their natural predators finally caught up with them. You know what I'm talking about. Castles. I mean, think about it; how many castles do you see these days? And how many wizards? Mm-hm, that's what I thought. You can try to keep this wizard alive as long as possible by vaporising castles as they appear onscreen, but it's only a matter of time. It's actually kind of... inspiring. You go, wizard! You run! You run and you don't stop! Don't let THE MAN keep you down! You never stop! *sniffle* Never! *sob*
Candy! Gotta love it. Tooth-destroying, belly-bulging sweetie of my heart. And chain-reactions! Gotta love them too. This follow-up to Icy Gifts contains all the hypnotic, addictive gameplay of the original, with power-ups, flashy visuals, and bobble-eyed critters. It's not particularly deep or complex, but it will hold your brain safely and gently for you while you fill the screen with colourful explosions and your skill with gratifying sound-effects. Really, isn't that about all most of us need on a Friday morning anyway?
My Little Army is clever strategy fun that wears its real-time nature on its sleeve, made from cutesy graphics and carried forward by purely-for-decoration storylines. You might even be fooled by thinking that this makes the game easy. See if you feel that way when a giant Jason is stomping your Khan Kong's face.
Most of us have, at one time or another, wanted a pet we could hug and pet and squeeze and name George, but why stop there? Unleash your favourite critter's true monetary potential in this racing sim that has you train up your hot-shot octopus (mine was apparently named Greasy Dirtyburger, which I deemed appropriate enough to keep) until you can clean up at the racetrack. Really, shouldn't you get a big trophy just for convincing an octopus to wear a pair of racing shorts and walk upright?
April showers bring May flowers, and a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of... monkeys chucking pointy implements at balloons. Obviously. Bloons is back with a seasonal pack of poppin' for you to try your hands at. Spring seems like the perfect time for Bloons action, especially if, like me, you're old enough to remember lawn darts. Man, this makes me nostalgic for my childhood; running around the backyard, hurling bits of plastic with spikes on the end at each other... memories. Painful, traumatising memories.
If there's one thing every nerd secretly holds to be true in our heart of hearts, it's that we would totally have Kirk's back in the event that we were thrown into an alien deathmatch ring with him. Unless, you know, it was an every-man-for-himself style battle royale arcade avoidance mess... then he'd have to go down. SuperFlashBros wants to throw you in a ring with a slavering alien monstrosity along with several other competitors and an assortment of random power-ups, and see who comes out alive.
When your parents or grandparents were kids, they didn't have any video games to keep them occupied. Instead, they had to go outside and play, chasing hoops with sticks, tying tin cans on strings to younger siblings, or tossing pennies at walls. (Apparently.) At its core, Cubium is a simple projectile physics game that hearkens back to simpler times as well, only instead of knocking cans off of fence posts with baseballs, you're hurling orbs at top speed towards stacks of tiny sentient cubes, trying to knock them all off the screen, Blosics style. It's good, wholesome old-timey fun with a little wanton destruction tossed in.
If, like me, you have difficulty expressing your emotions, you might find a kindred spirit in this morbidly amusing reflex/arcade game about a lowly but lethal spike trap in a castle. He/She/It falls in love with the plucky hero of the game, and can only express this affection the same way he/she/it expresses everything else... by smashing the hero into a bloody pulp. It doesn't take the hero long to realise he doesn't want anything to do with what you consider romance, and he resorts to increasingly tricky and complex means to try to scoot past you without getting pulverised. Just like high school!
I'm always hearing about how the next evolution in gaming is right around the corner. However, for those shooter-lover who wouldn't mind evolution taking less time, there's DN8, the new dynamically-generated bullet-hell from intelligent-designer Squize of Gaming Your Way. It looks pretty fit to me.
Second Person Shooter Zato is a unique kind of action game that flips everything you know about shooters on its head before turning it inside-out and looking at it through a mirror. Well, that sounds like it would cancel the weirdness out, but it doesn't! In this game, you control a gun-toting hero who is being attacked by groups of enemies. However, instead of getting a first-person view of the action, you can only see yourself through the eyes of the enemy. Spin around, fire your weapons, and hope you can survive without looking at the world from behind your own gun!
Front Runner's protagonist would rather sit unaccosted on his asteroid outpost, playing his space-recorder, but all the quirky locals just won't leave him be. And as arcade games have taught us for years, such aggravation can only be answered by taking the wheel of an absurdly overarmed runabout and showing all comers what-for. It takes the vastness of space and turns it into a strange, colorful neighborhood of oddly shaped planets and goofy, irksome monsters. Empty space is rarely this lively, or this silly.
You may disagree, but for my money the finest first-person-shooter arcade experience to be had lies with House of the Dead 4 Special. While Alien Attack 3D doesn't have seats that swivel and full surround sound, it still manages to capture that gleeful old rail-shooter arcade feeling quite nicely. You're a prisoner whose reprieve comes in (surprise!) an alien attack on the base you're being held at. Blast your way through headcrab thingies (I still need to play Half-Life, I guess. Priorities!), grab med kits, and admire the swinging camera that faithfully recreates the arcade experiences of yore.
As my great grandmother used to say, there's a little bit of unknowable cosmic horror in all of us, and Super Flash Bros will help you unleash it in their latest arcade game/intergalactic griefer simulator. Ping destruction down on unsuspecting planets, trying to rack up as much damage as possible, though if you're clever you'll make sure to leave at least one author still alive so the next generation of Hot-Topicers can know what mythological horror trend to follow next. Quirky, colourful, and oddly satisfying in a way that sates the galactic voices inside our heads for the time being, it's a fine way to get a little carnage in your day.
When dungeon crawler meets Bomberman, BinB is the result. A simple-looking arcade game at heart, this little release from Maxim Karpenko (a.k.a. Kendja) packs a lot of bombs, a lot of power-ups, and a surprising amount of strategy, especially when you consider it's mostly about blowing things up and collecting gold.
Go underwater in Lucas Paahk's stunning new exploration-centric sandbox game about one lovely fish and one big, beautiful ocean. Collect tokens, run races, perform acrobatic tricks and uncover secrets in a truly stunning oceanic environment. Though lacking any sort of story or overarching goal, Azurefish provides a relaxing, atmospheric experience that you can really sink yourself into.
Bored with running games such as Canabalt and Robot Unicorn Attack? You should be, because they don't have giant squids, lava, lightning, oil slicks, and main characters who are on fire. Flood Runner 3: Armageddon, however, does. We mentioned Clockwork Monster's Flood Runner 2 in a previous Link Dump Friday, and this one's got even more over-the-top action to help you feel like a demi-god dashing through the mortal realms.
A stealth game in which you must figure out how to solve puzzles to manipulate the enemy territory, and you've got to do it without attracting any attention or banging into walls or sailing in front of a security camera tends to hinder that. Newton, Newton, what hast thou donest. For fans of the genre it should be even more enjoyable, and the cinematics are quite cool, even if the plot is a little hokey. Elite players, get ready to mock us lesser mortals. The rest of you, grab your favorite sugary comestible and try your best.
Despite the best efforts of Joe Johnston, I still have a soft spot for dinosaurs. I'm kind of jealous, actually... I mean, if I were to leap onto a stranger's back, shrieking and ripping at the back of their neck with my teeth it'd be frowned upon. (Stupid double standards.) If you're a fan of Pixeljam's addictive retro arcade game Dino Run (and have already checked out Dino Run SE, and why would you not, honestly.) then this simple little race to keep one step ahead of death will be a welcome snack in your day. Mmmm, tastes like extinction!
Roadkill Revenge is a top-down action puzzler where you control a rocket-powered vehicle with the intent of causing a chain reaction of destruction across 45 traffic-filled levels. Accomplish tasks ranging from blowing up specific buildings or vehicles, or causing a certain dollar amount of damage.
The shooter lives! Matt Roszak's Epic Battle Fantasy series steps out of its genre and into the shoes of the "bullet hell" arcade action greats. Unlock new characters, improve your abilities, earn challenging medals, or just last as long as you can in Survival Mode. Bullet Heaven is a fantastic example of the shooter genre doing what it does best; making you squeal "ohgeezohgeezohgeez" over and over again while you sweat bullets to match the hundreds onscreen.
Two years ago, Antony Lavelle released Upgrade Complete. A mix of shoot em up and space invaders, the games main purpose was to unsubtly parody one of the more obnoxious aspects of modern gaming: the inclusion of unnecessary and convoluted upgrade systems. Everything came at a price and had to be bought: weapons, graphics, music, buttons... even the pre-loader and Armor Games intro animation. However... it turns out that the developers weren't quite done... After all, what is an upgrade system without a sequel that requires you to restart your progress from the beginning? Thus comes Upgrade Completer, a game that advances the original's premise as much as its humor.
Goo's been a popular subject for casual games in recent years. You can build towers out of it, sling balls of it at things, and in Goo Bob, you can send it along on its merry way, rolling over a landscape filled with various structures, flora, and fauna. This physics-based side scroller has you relying on momentum and gravity to carry you to the end of each level. With its bubbly soundtrack and easy-going pace, Goo Bob just oozes with casual gaming charm.
The third episode in Tucker Bowen's Sarcastic Creatures series.
Bugs and I have an uneasy friendship. On the one hand I can appreciate the beauty of creation in their skeletons, the elegance of their societies, and the important role they play in our ecosystem. On the other hand, should one drop down the back of my shirt, talks are going to break down pretty quickly. It is to the latter part of my psyche that Insectonator, the new shooter from SonarGames, is aimed. It might not be too nice to all things great and small, but if you have a hankerin' for some arthropod blastin', it'll be sure to catch you in its web.
Not Your War is a classic-style vertical shooter that feels like Robotron or Smash TV. Use the mouse and keyboard to control your small craft as you survive through 11 levels, taking on waves of enemy drones, fighters, and ships. Upgrade your ship and take down the Rhean forces in this challenging arcade title.
Fly and Blast asks you to choose between piloting a jet, a helicopter and a super-powered heavily armed flying exoskeleton within minutes of loading the game, all of which will serve you well in this side-scrolling shooter. Give Fly and Blast a shot if you enjoy flying or blasting. Just don't be surprised when you find yourself drawn to the battle suit.
Grease is the word, but apparently the [spacebar] is the key in this fast-paced, frustrating and addictive little arcade game where the goal is simply to make it from one side of the screen to the other. Easier said than done since your brave little square avatar is apparently made of spun sugar and will shatter into a billion pixels if it even gets within breathing distance of an obstacle. The farther you go, the trickier things get, adding traps, tunnels, gaps, and triggers to contend with along with the sense that the developer is just rocking back and forth on his heels, giggling like a maniac at how often you fail.
Is there anything more heartwarming than joining hands with your fellow man? This cute arcade game that combines Tetris with match-3 gameplay has you trying to link chains of robots together to share energy by stacking them so that their hands interlock. There's a bit too much unpredictability to really allow you to strategize here, especially with the crates and transforming thingamabobber, but it's a cute way to while away the minutes while you're waiting for the next work order for our cruel mechanical overlords.
Is there anything not improved by a frenzy mode? Seriously, the next time you're brushing your teeth, scream "FRENZY!" and just start thrashing toothpaste everywhere. I guarantee you'll have more fun, or at least get your significant other to cast suspicious glances your way for the next week or two. Invoking classic Space Invaders gameplay and shooter action, Particle Wars Extreme is all about racking up points and combos in the flashiest (frenziest) manner possible. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go do the laundry while frenzied. And then probably clean up a whole load of detergent afterwards.
infect.evolve.repeat.2 is the sequel to Manuel Fallmann's original infect game from 2005. Control a green germ by clicking and dragging to infect red blood cells and multiply your numbers. Evolve your germ to make it powerful enough to take on white blood cells and survive against waves of antibiotics. The game now features enhanced graphics, new missions, and achievements.
Because my body reacts resentfully to anything more athletically demanding than my daily workout by trying to make me kill myself with clumsiness, I'm afraid this arcade game about snowboarding will have to be the closest I get to being a celebrated stunt superstar. Just use the [arrow] keys to control your character's flips and turns, grab stars, flags, and watch out for common natural hazards like drops, snow drifts, trees, and low-hanging buzz-saws suspended in midair. (Just another way Mother Nature wants you to know she hates when you enjoy yourself.)
Almost two years down the road, and Canabalt is still breaking hearts and inspiring developers left and right. This snappy little arcade survival game combines everyone's love of running really, really fast with a rockin' theme and some light RPG elements to make a fast-paced, addictive experience. Come on, who amoung us hasn't had a day that wouldn't be wildly improved by running pell-mell down a corridor, leaping over Indiana-Jones-style boulders, and slashing wildly at everything in reach? Awesome is the cure for all life's woes.
I'm seven years old, it's my birthday, and my mom gets me a rabbit. I was in paroxysms of joy. Until the following day when I rushed out to play with him before school and discovered that getting a rabbit for your birthday essentially means getting an uncommunicative, uninterested pet that continually generates a stream of unpleasant chores and will never, ever thank you for scraping out the poo enamel it's trying to lay on the floor of its hutch. Maybe that's why I get some sort of mean-spirited pleasure out of this weird little arcade avoidance game about a rabbit continually trying and failing to reunite with the object of his affections. I have a lot of weird stories about rabbit ownership; I suspect if you grew up in rural Canada, you probably do, too.