As I enter Guano Junction inside the Bat Hole, I check my equipment. Chef's hat? Check. Rubber axe? Check. Frilly skirt? Check. Dirty hobo gloves? Check. Pine-Fresh air freshener? Check (well, one can never be too careful). I am ready for anything.
Meat is king in this insane, comical, turn-based RPG from Asymmetric Publications. Composed entirely in DHTML and compatible with most browsers, The Kingdom of Loathing is unlike any game I have played online, or anywhere else for that matter. I've never been a big fan of text based games or text adventures, but I am completely hooked on this one. It is a ridiculously addictive and insanely over-the-top game that you cannot help but love.
You are an adventurer—rather, "An adventurer is You!," as the game proclaims—who has come to the Kingdom of Loathing to help destroy the monsters and Naughty Sorceress who have taken over the kingdom and imprisoned King Ralph XI. This is not that much different than a hundred other games, I'll admit. The fun is in its "stunning hand-drawn images" and unusual Monty Pythonesque items and monsters. I have only been playing for a week or three now and have already been attacked by such evils as a Can of Asparagus with a knife, a Gnollish Plungermaster, and a Brainsweeper ("This is a disembodied brain used to control a set of brooms. Why? For Science!").
KoL features a very unique class system, hundreds of offbeat weapons and armor to collect (Knob Goblin tongs, Bloody clown pants, a pasta spoon, etc.), and familiars (or pets) that will aid you in battle. I currently have Ignacious MaGuillicutty, the 12-pound Mosquito.
KoL also includes chat rooms so members can chat while playing (though you must earn that right). It also has PvP (Player vs Player) battle options. However, you are in charge of when you want to begin battling against other players. Until you have chosen to smash the Magical Mystical Hippy Stone that is in your campgrounds, no one can attack you and vice-versa.
The only negative thing I can say about it is that it is turn-based. Each day you are given forty turns to play. They do rollover from day to day, but you cannot exceed two hundred turns. This may be plenty for most, but with the amount of time that I have free for gaming, I am always running out of turns at times when I am feeling the most "in the zone". I had to start a second character just so I can play longer.
This is definitely a 'must play' game for RPG fans who want something different, as it has become a personal favorite. I could ramble on and on endlessly (obviously) about all the randomness and wit this game has crammed within it, but I'll have to let you just see for yourself. I mean honestly, any game where meat is currency and a literacy exam is required before you can use the chat room has gotta be good.