So it's Friday, and you ask yourself, "Aside from this double venti mocha lotta frappawhatsis, what do I need to make my morning complete?" Answer being, of course, a ninja, a rusty pizza cutter, and a time-travelling mushroom. We know you didn't know that, but that's okay. That's what we're here for.
... well, that and the fact that without constant attention we'd wither and fade away. But then the same is true for any media personality. So everyone just stop paying attention to Chuck Palahniuk and everything will be okay.
- One Hour Back - It'll take more than a lovely plinky-plonky piano solo to win me over. This point-and-clicker is about Noah, a little mushroom dude, who has a time machine, which is broken. You'll need to travel through various places, collecting objects to travel even further back, by doing favours for people. The dialogue suffers from a few too many typos (or translation errors), and the controls often feel clunky and unresponsive (kind of like me first thing in the morning). Still, it's a cute game that would have been so much better with a cleaner, easier interface.
- Ninja Run - Inspired by Canabalt, this run-til-you-drop platformer is a completely historically accurate rendition of ancient Japan. Run, jump, double-jump, shuriken, and hook-shot your way through unpredictable terrain to get a high score. You can withstand several hits before you die, but it goes without saying that you probably don't want to plummet into the fathomless blue void that makes up most of your surroundings. There isn't really enough variety to keep it from getting stale long before you actually die, but it's a clever spin on a popular bit of gameplay that I'd like to see polished and expanded a bit more.
- Nightmare Maze - This odd choose-your-own-adventure style text adventure reminds me a bit of movies I've seen based on the novels of Clive Barker; it's kind of cool, but nobody knows what's going on, and there are a bunch of people in art-house berets watching it with me. There's some interesting imagery to be had as you try to navigate the series of nightmares the game throws you into, but everything is a bit too abstract to be really scary. Throw a barefoot Asian girl with long, obscuring black hair or some stone angels in and we'll talk. Actually, no we won't, because I'll be hiding under the table crying and hugging myself.
- Amateur Surgeon 2 - [Parental Warning: So very, very not for children.] A fine Scottish heritage has convinced me that I am equipped to handle any medical emergency with a combination of junk I found in my kitchen and old wives' tales. Unfortunately, people rarely seem keen to let me test this theory, so it's always nice to play a game that knows you're dangerously unqualified, but lets you operate on people anyway. (Again.) Just as ridiculous and gross as the first, but if you were a fan of the first in Adult Swim's cheerfully offensive series, that's probably good news for you. Hooray!
- The Gun Game 2 - The sequel to 2009's aptly named gun simulation is here, and it allows you to customise your avatar, which is why the icon is an accurate representation of yours truly. The original was little more than an elaborate webtoy with accurate representations of real world firearms, but the sequel adds a lot of new material such as levels, perks, and jobs. It's actually a bit like what would come about if the creator of Super Crazy Guitar Maniac were a gun nut instead of a guitar prodigy.