Alan Probe: Amateur Surgeon
Update: 3rd and final chapter now available to play!
(Warning: This game features excessive cartoon violence, adult themes and potentially offensive language.)
The story goes like this. Alan Probe is a slovenly pizza delivery boy obsessed with pipe dreams of becoming a master surgeon. One day, while distracted by thoughts of doctorly fame, Alan smacks his delivery van into a staggering hobo, shattering the poor man's rib cage and inadvertently launching them both on a new and fateful career path. 
The fallen vagrant urges Alan to perform emergency surgery on him with whatever tools are handy. Open him up, drag his ribs into place, and sew him back together, easy as pie. Convenient pizza cutter in hand, Alan obliges, directed at every step by his patient and new mentor.
Who is this mysterious hobo? If he was once a successful surgeon, how did he fall so far? What secrets hide in the underbelly of this corrupt and vicious city? Why are everyone's mouths drawn so big?
These are the enigmas of Adult Swim's Alan Probe: Amateur Surgeon, a cartoonish and casually offensive entry into the simon-says-surgery genre made famous(ish) by Atlus' Trauma Center. The gameplay is wide open the same way ducks are eloquent. They are not, and it isn't. Your job is to follow the exact requirements of each surgery as quickly and as accurately as possible. A dashed yellow line means you need to select your pizza cutter and draw along it. An object stuck in a wound is your cue to get out the tongs. An open laceration needs to be stapled shut.
That's right. Instead of surgical stitches, you use a stapler. And your operating surface is a bloody pool table. One of your patients is a man who has attacked himself with a nail gun in order to sue the tool company. His name is Insurance-fraud Claude. If that made you chuckle, or if you're already a fan of Cartoon Network's Adult Swim programming line-up, I think you'll enjoy Amateur Surgeon. If it sounds totally stupid, or gratuitous cartoon violence bothers you, you should probably skip this one.
The game will give you instructions as you play, but the gist of it is this. Choose your off-beat surgical implement from a menu at the top of the screen. You can either click on it or press the appropriate number key, which is much faster, and soon becomes necessary since you'll be under time restrictions. When you've dealt with all of your current patient's injuries and stapled him shut, you win the level. If his heart rate drops too low, either because time ran out or you've done the wrong thing too many times, the patient dies, and you'll have to start the level over from the beginning.
When this review was first written there was only the first chapter out of a planned trilogy. Now all 3 Acts are up and available to play with each one comprising about ten episodes and promising many wacky adventures, including secret levels. If you enjoyed this one the first time around, you won't want to miss the conclusion!
Analysis: Amateur Surgeon is blessed with the finest production values a second-tier television network can buy, with bright, detailed environments and an ever-present sense of self-conscious irony. There's even a halfway interesting story, although obviously we're not talking Shakespeare here (unless you mean Titus Andronicus). The violence is so over-the-top that it's not really gross, but there's still plenty of comically intense moments to go around. Especially the stuff with the chainsaw.
Most of your interaction with the game should go pretty smoothly, except for a handful of places where you'll need to be unreasonably fast and precise, touch-pad operators be warned. The game's biggest flaw otherwise is that it's too repetitive. Most of your time is spent searing wounds closed with the lighter and then glopping a numbing gel on the scar, and you have to do it over and over and over again. Most patients are just covered with gashes both inside and out, and while this can be justified by the ridiculous nature of their injuries, it still feels like an artificial method of making the levels longer.
But what can you do? The point of this game is to tell grisly visual jokes and amuse you, not to supply multi-layered strategic gameplay depth. It does its job well, and the gameplay is actually better than it needs to be. Some of the surgeries have a crazy, inventive edge to them that bodes well for the coming chapters. The developers aren't taking themselves at all seriously, which is enough reason to give this a try even if you've already played both Trauma Center and the Dark Cut series. I give it two severed thumbs up. Get to slicin'.
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February 27, 2008 8:28 PM
Walkthrough Guide
They were all fairly straight-forward, except the last one. Here's how you do it:
Intro:
Slice into the guy and start patching up scars. By now, the (stitch)/cauterize/salve method should be second nature. Once you get the cuts all healed, bugs will pop out of his heart. Grab the car battery (#9 on the line) and start bug zapping. Be VERY careful that you don't kill him off, or else you'll have to restart his heart. Just zap anywhere on the screen and you'll be given about 5 points on the heart monitor; refill to a respectable level with the corkscrew and salve. Once the bugs are dead, patch him up again.
Here's the tricky part:
Now you'll have to perform open heart surgery. Go into the inner chambers of his heart and break out the etch-a-sketch. You'll see a very large, suspicious blob. Cut it open and a few more bugs will race about the screen. Zap them, then zap the hole a few times to get the queen to come out. Repeat this about two more times and the last queen will pop out with about five friends. Kill them all and you'll be taken back outside the heart. Patch up the scar on his heart to be taken back to the skin, and patch that up.
Posted by: Illarion | February 27, 2008 3:29 PM
How to Beat Eddy in Act 2
First of all, you need to become an expert at your procedures. By now, closing up wounds, clearing out poison, and the rest should be second-nature to you. However, you need to hone them in to become as efficient as (in)humanly possible. Here's a list of special techniques for your tools:
Lighter
Odds are, you know that the lighter is the tool to cauterize wounds. However, you may not know why: when wounds are cauterized, they can't leak blood. One of the biggest yet unnoticed hassles of this game is obscured vision due to excess blood. Unless you catch a wound early, the time sucker--I mean, vacuum--will NOT help you in this department. So, whenever you make a cut, memorize its shape, end points, and direction before it gets covered up. Also note that your flame is not produced directly at the tip of your cursor but rather in a cloud-shaped pattern above it. So, when a wound needs to be closed, the cloud itself, not the cursor, controls how quickly it closes. Note also that different wounds have a higher priority, meaning that the lighter will apply its work to a certain scar before the others. Experiment with this, because if you're spending a lot of time on one wound and it's not closing, it's probably because it's looking at your incomplete effort on another wound instead. Before facing Eddy, try tackling one of the very first missions to perfect the timing--it has to spend a certain amount of time on the wound and cover it from tip to tip.
Healing Salve
The salve is a life-saver, quite literally. It slowly returns some of the patient's health--or at least keeps it from dropping quickly--and completes the healing of a wound. It also has a hidden function. Whenever a wound is cauterized, it can spend a certain amount of time before it reopens and starts to bleed again. The salve stops this for good. The salve faces the same problem as the lighter: it produces a cloud-shaped blob above the cursor rather than at the cursor itself. So, adjust your motions accordingly. The same priority applies to the salve as it does to the lighter, so experiment to determine which wounds will heal first. Unlike the lighter, using salve never hurts the patient, so you can hold down the mouse button while dragging the salve over every wound on the board in sequence. Again, practice on Gracefuls or Cletus because you need to spend a certain amount of time and cover the wound from tip to tip.
Stapler
In order to keep a wound shut, you need to apply staples. Now, round holes usually take one, but other wounds take more. The idea is to get the bare minimum of staples in order to get it closed. Most need to be secured twice: perhaps half an inch near each end, but not too far apart. A third staple might be necessary, but the idea is to use as few as possible lest time be wasted. Finally, when the wound is ready to be cauterized, you'll see an "OK" or similar comment, so watch carefully for it.
Vacuum
This sucks up everything, including time. Generally, for poison, you'll want to suck up all the discolored bits--but it will also suck up stray blood. If you don't get all of the bits within a (very) brief window of time, the poison will leech back into the cut marks and infect again, so act quickly. When dealing with only one poison wound, place the vacuum about 1 to 1.5 inches away from it, on a side that's clear of blood and other wounds. When dealing with two poison wounds, place it somewhere between the two and preferably away from as many other wounds as possible. Make sure to get an "OK" or better before switching out to a different tool--that means you've gotten it all up and it can't spread again. If you need to practice this, try Lumbar, Valerie, and Karl. If you do Karl without too much stress, you'll be golden.
Corkscrew
As you know, you need to use this many, many times in order to get a patient back to a steady heartbeat and continue with a surgery. The best advice is to guess how much life you'll need ahead of time and fill 'er up to there. Also, try placing the corkscrew less than an inch below the salve button--at this place, you hardly ever get a cut. Cuts are bad because they take up time, so be careful. Finally, never forget to choose the salve each time; if you need another tool, make sure it's in your hand when you click on it.
Car Battery
At some point when dealing with Eddy, you'll begin to realize that he's not going to make it, usually because you're low on time. Grab the car battery an' give him a jolt to kill him and get back to the beginning faster.
Pizza Cutter and Chainsaw
To tell the difference between a line that requires a pizza cutter and one that needs a chain saw, consider what you're cutting. A chainsaw needs to be called in when you have to cut through bone, metal, and discolored (faulty) organs. The pizza cutter can cut through skin, into the inner chamber of an organ, and into regular flesh (whatever the background may be). However, neither of these are appropriate for the two big red spots on Eddy's stomach because
those are open wounds and need to be stapled shut.
Now then, let's move on to the patient.
Skin Level
Immediately grab the pizza cutter and go to town on the poison marks. Each one should take three whacks to bring the poison to the surface. Get them both open and then put the vacuum cleaner directly between the two. Run your cursor back and forth as you're holding the mouse button town to suck up the mess. Make SURE you see TWO "OK"s or better before grabbing the stapler. Do you see those two huge red marks on Eddy's stomach? Those are bite wounds and need to be stapled shut. It looks like the dog bit the poor guy's kidney, so you'll need to get inside as quickly as possible. Put a staple on each half of the bite to make it shrink down to a manageable scar; finish the wound and hit the others. Clean them all up, and hopefully you'll be at 3:45 or close to it. Now, before slicing in, get his health back up with a few dozen turns of the corkscrew. You need Eddy's health to be between 70 and 90 in order to succeed, so don't skimp on this step! When you're ready, grab the cutter an' dive in.
Phase I
Immediately you'll see more poison growing. Obviously, his damaged kidney will have to wait. Now, this is the hardest part: you need to get all of it up as soon as possible, or else it will spread. Slice open JUST the two on the left. YES, I know that one on the left is tempting. YES, it's getting bigger. NO, don't work on it yet. Open the two on the right and put the vacuum directly between it. Make absolutely sure you remember the positions, end points, and directions of the resulting scars--you'll need to know soon. Once they're both gone, turn your attention to the third. Now, about the time you get it open, you may or may not see a fourth poison. IGNORE IT. Make sure you get all of the third wound up before turning to the fourth. Once you're done, you can turn your attention to the scars.
Phase II
Now, the tricky part is closing up the scars. Odds are, you can't even see them. That's why you memorized where they were, right? ...right?
If not, you'll have to go crazy with the lighter running circles all over them until you get some hits. Remember that some wounds take priority and if you're not closing one, it's probably because another hasn't been fully closed yet. Get them all fixed up an' you can turn your attention to the kidney.
From there, it's insanely straight-forward. You've done the rest on
Meat Sack Jack,
so practice before ye go.
Posted by: Illarion | March 14, 2008 5:13 PM
I've decided to include a full-depth walkthrough...
FILE 1:
When you start the game, you're thrown right into the first surgery, Dr. Bleed.
File 1 Dr. Bleed is basically a tutorial level. He'll guide you through what to do, and you can click on the text at the bottom to advance it quicker (useful if it's in your way). Simply do as he says and you'll be finished in no time.
TIPS:
The game never tells you, but if you look at the pictures of your tools up at the top, you'll notice they have numbers on them.
Those numbers allow you to select those tools without having to move the cursor all the way up to click on them! This is useful for switching straight to the tongs in order to piece together the ribs in order to keep a combo running, which is necessary to get rank A.
Patient 2: Thomas Gracefuls
This guy fell through the window of the storage room he was trying to rob and got a bunch of glass shards stuck in him.
Fortunately, the storage room just happens to have been newly converted into a clinic!
Again, this is another tutorial level, this time to learn extractions. Follow what Dr. Bleed tells you to do and this shouldn't take long to finish at all.
TIPS:
Try to avoid pulling the shards of glass out too quickly, or else you will get a "Miss" for being to quick. This will break your combo, and thusly your chances of getting rank A. Don't worry though, you can always replay this patient. Also, Dr. Bleed forgot to mention that you can't staple small cuts--you just go straight to cauterizing them. You can check the "help" tab and check out procedures page to see what to do in each situation.
Patient 3: Roadkill Cletus
I reckon' this here fella dun got a porcupine on him! Extract the thorns just like you did the glass from Gracefuls. Dr. Bleed also tells you how to ease the patient's pain, so you don't have to worry so much about heart rate going to 0! Sweet!
TIPS:
When healing, be sure to click the corkscrew (or hit 8) THEN be sure to also click the gel (or hit 4), otherwise you'll wind up with a corkscrew screwing into the patients skin without any gel. Ouch. Also, be sure to do it where there's already a cut or yellow lines at, to avoid creating a new small cut (which will happen no matter how well you follow the red bit if you're not near such a point). Finally, keep in mind that healing the patient will break your combo, so it's best to be used right after a miss, after a long 'pause' (inability to get any 'goods' 'greats' or 'awesomes'), or at the start of the surgery.
Patient 4: Insurance Fraud Claude
This guy abuses himself based on what lables don't say, in order to make a fortune by suing hardware companies. His most recent form of abuse was shooting himself with a nail gun and drinking paint, though you're focusing on the nails.
Patch up his wounds, and Dr. Bleed will tell you about using the Etch-a-Sketch. Use it, equip the cutter, keep track of where the black spots were, and cut there. Typical extraction method follows.
TIPS:
In order to keep your combo, when revealing a buried object (the black spots on the etch-a-sketch), hold the mouse button down and move it around until the object is revealed. If it's revealed right away, go ahead and let go of the button.
Patient 5: Trent Coat
This guy has bullets in him and has a bogus story as to how they got there. But hey, he's got a lot of money, so who cares?
This level doesn't introduce anything new, it's just here to see how well you've been learning things so far.
No tips here...
Patient 6: Junkyard Guts
Gus (AKA Guts) works at the junkyard. He's the custodian and, it seems, the food disposal. Something he ate, however, is disagreeing with him...
Once you cut into him, you'll have to get his rib cage out of the way. Follow Dr. Bleed's instructions, making sure to get ALL the yellow lines. Extract any bone shards, seal the wounds, scan for the problem, remove it... What the?! Looks like you've got more things to extract! Afterwards, you'll have to put the rib cage back in--Hey, it acts just like a small wound! Burn it, gel it, good as new! The two parts involving the ribcage might slow you down, but otherwise this level is pretty simple.
TIPS:
When using the chainsaw to cut out the ribcage, you cannot release the button or else it will undo it and count a "Miss" against you. Ouch!
Going too slowly with the chainsaw will cause you to fail due to being "too slow" or something, though I haven't experienced that myself. Going too QUICKLY might cause you to accidently skip some lines, and they're a pain to get back to if you've already reached another side.
UNLIKE the chainsaw part, you can release the mouse button while burning/geling the ribcage.
Patient 7: "Lumbar" Jack Piles
This Lumberjack has back problems... Cut on in and see what's wrong. Dr. Bleed will tell you that those green 'clouds' are poison--Cut them open! Each cloud takes three cuts to burst, and you'll want to use the vacuum right away before the liquid seeps back into the tissue to cause more poison clouds. Don't worry, it won't seep in quicker just because there are cuts there.
TIPS:
Try to get all three cuts on top of eachother. This way, when you're sealing them up, you can just keep moving over the same spot! Like with the black spots on the etch-a-sketch, try holding down the mouse button and moving around a bit if you don't make a cut right away.
Patient 8: Eddy the Dog
This guy's an odd one--was he a dog-human hybrid or something? Anyways, you'll have to get some tracker chips out of him and then remove the collar. First, get the tracking chips. They're buried, so scan away and take Dr. Bleed's instructions. Yikes! Fire! You'll need to vacuum up some blood to squirt it back out onto the fire with the vacuum, so be sure to pull out the shard that appeared so that hole can produce some blood.
Once you've gotten rid of the tracking chips, it's time to cut off that collar. It's pretty durable, so you'll need your chainsaw. Pull away the pieces as you cut them off.
TIPS:
Try to avoid using the vacuum two consecutive times without getting a good/great/awesome. It might ruin your combo if you do.
Patient 9: Meatsack Jack
Is this guy a butcher? He's come across some fresh organs, which he wants you to replace his shoddy ones with. Dr. Bleed will guide you through how this all works.
No tips, these things have already been covered in previous ones.
Patient 10: Horace
This guy is creepy... Anyways, Bleed went outside, so he can't help you here. Alan will mention that the battery can be used to start the heart back up--though that really only works if you stopped it via the battery in the first place.
Cut on in, seal up the wounds... Well, looks like we got ourselves an insect infestation! Shock them buggers! If you accidentally miss, shock Horace again to start his heart again, though only back up to 5 (lower if it was lower when you stopped the heart). The rest of the level plays through this simply, too.
TIPS:
The ants can bite Horace, inflicting a 'burn.' If there are enough burn marks, the ants will begin to start fires when they bite, so be careful!
This is the end of File 1!
FILE 2:
Patient 1: Officer Hack Brutality
This guy barges 'in' shouting at Alan and Bleed. Once he learns they're surgeons, he asks for their help, though refuses to say why.
Well, may as well cut him open. Whoa! Gray clouds! These act just like green clouds, so cut 'em thrice and vacuum. After that, seal up the wounds, and scan. ...I don't even know what those things are... Whatever they are, extract them, seal the wounds up, bla bla bla... Once you cut into the stomach, you'll find that he swallowed a pair of handcuffs (what the hell?!), so chainsaw 'em and remove 'em.
No tips.
Patient 2: Vince "Petroleum" Blownapart
This guy siphons out oil from cars. Looks like somebody didn't like that, and attacked him... Well, it seems he only needs some stapling and sealing! Wait... Fire?! Crud, he's covered in oil... It's a straight through operation, though.
TIPS:
Go a bit slowly at first. Get a couple of staples into a big gash for an awesome/great, wait a bit, do that with another... You wanna get some blood to put out the fires!
Patient 3: Valerie
This person is a prostitute who has MS. Looks like it's time to do some brain surgery! Cut up the cranium with your chainsaw, extract the skull shards, seal the wounds, cut out the black brain with your chainsaw, take it off... What the hell are those?! Well, whatever they are, you need to burn them. ...Uh oh, looks like burning them leaves some poison. You know what to do, though, so go for it! The rest is straightforward.
TIPS:
You may want to 'heal' her a few times before you cut her cranium. Incase you forgot, healing is Corkscrew with Gel.
Patient 4: Edgar Stubbington the Third (Esquire)
This guy isn't injured at all, but he is spooked about the fact that somebody's been attacking criminals, and he happens to be a criminal. So, he was steroids in him. Implanting steroids is basically the opposite of extracting things. Straight forward.
No tips necessary.
Patient 5: Donny Debonair (Pimp Extraordinaire)
This guy wants parts of him to be blinged up. Fun stage with a mini-game, which I'll cover below in "Blingatize."
The primary operation is fairly straightforward until the gold bar. After cutting out the ribcage, use your pizza cutter to cut out that rectangle. Put the bar in place and staple the left and right sides--five spread equally (It might just be three per side, just one in each corner and one in the middle of the left and right sides). Then, burn it and gel it.
BLINGATIZE:
When you start it up, cut on in. Replace the kidney. When you back out, put a staple in one of his nipples, then staple up the wound, follow up with stapling the other nipple, then seal the wound. Once you reach the gold bar bit, put a staple in the dot of the i, then the five staples mentioned above. The ribcage should fill the bling meter up all the way. This will unlock Stuporman.
Patient 6: Stinkin' Joe Garbage & Ted
Simply seal his wounds up and go into his colon. Follow the wounds as they appear with your cursor while you have the battery selected. After a bit, Ted will pop out. Zap him a few times if possible, if you don't finish him just wait until he pops out again. Once you finish this part, seal up the cuts and back out, finished with this opera--Wait, more cuts?! Looks like Ted didn't die off just yet. Go into the heart after sealing the wounds. Follow the cuts and continue zapping Ted until Bleed tells you you're done. Seal up the wounds, scan, unbury Ted, cut him out, gently pull him out. Seal up, and back out, sealing the cuts as you do so. Fairly quick, eh?
TIPS:
Three zaps will finish off Ted, and you can zap him three times each time he pops out if you're quick enough; however, if you want an A, only zap him once each time he pops out. Make sure to cauterize the wounds right after zapping him once while in the heart--you should be able to cauterize 3 and switch to the battery to zap him again before he pops out.
Patient 7: Bug-eater Peter
This guy had a pet Komodo Dragon named Mr. Caruthers, who he likes to dress up like a person. Anyways, Mr. Caruthers refused to eat his caviar, so Peter ate it to show him it was delicious--but somebody replaced the fish eggs with spider eggs! Now, he's got some spider eggs stuck in him! Simply cut one egg, cut out one poison cloud, vacuum it up, cut the other one, vacuum it up, then seal the cuts. Repeat with the other two eggs.
No tips necessary.
Patient 8: Karl Pachino
Wow this is one hyper dude. Normally, you'd be worried about keeping the heart rate UP--but this time, you wanna keep it DOWN. While there's coffee in him, his heart rate will keep going up, and if it hits 200, he'll crash! He'll even crash if you make one mistake, so make sure you choose the vacuum for the caffeine, NOT the chainsaw.
Cut out the caffeine pockets, vacuum them up, but do NOT seal the wounds--you want them to bleed to keep the heart rate from sky rocketing. Once you finish vacuuming up the third, scan with the etch-a-sketch and unbury the coffee tablets. cut them out, then, one at a time, pull it out and cut and vacuum the caffeine. Once you finish up with the sixth caffeine cloud (the three before the pills and the three after them), you can seal up his wounds. It isn't too hard to get a high score on this patient.
No tips.
Patient 9: Animal the Cannibal
This guy's a nutcase! Why else would he be in a straightjacket?! Well, in any case (be it nut or not), he's eaten something that doesn't agree with him. Cut him open and... Whoa, bones? Pull them out. Seal the holes they made, and cut open his stomach... Yikes! This guy really is a cannibal! Pull out some of the things, they aren't stuck into anything so you can pull them right out, except the skull and pelvic bone, which you have to saw apart to remove.
TIPS:
Pulling out the parts inside his stomach won't count towards your combo, but they won't count against it either. Just be sure you saw a bit of the pelvic bone before the combo timer runs out (and no, as far as I know, there's nowhere for you to see it at) if you want to manage to get rank A.
Patient 10: Eddy the Dog (2)
Hey, it's our old friend Eddy the Dog! Looks like somebody's sicked a real dog onto him--he's hurt, badly. Each half of that large gash is basically a large cut--Just staple, cauterize, and gel. You can either staple up the large cuts first and then go to the poison pockets or visa-versa, as long as you don't let him lose too much health. Once you finish up his outside, go inside and fix around the kidneys--this time, poison pockets first--the rest is straight forward.
TIPS:
Poison clouds/pockets and open cuts will lower health, but poison pockets do so faster than small cuts. I'm not sure which does it quicker out of poison and large cuts, though, but the large chunk of missing skin seems to bleed quickly.
And so ends file 2...
FILE 3:
Patient 1: Trent Coat (2)
Looks like the mystery assailant has gotten to Trent. He's got the broken tip of a knife in him, as well as a bunch of cuts and even a poison pocket right where the knife is. Ignore the knife until you finish up with everything (including the poison) besides it and the large cut it's stuck in. When you pull it out... Whoa, scorpions! They've got tough armor, so whip out your chainsaw and chop them three times. Trying to hold it on them won't work for some reason.
On the inside, once you finish up what was already there, scan for the nest. The nest can only be harmed with the chainsaw, so saw away! I personally suggest taking out one of the scorpions that came out with it first and continue sawing the nest until the nest shows Good/Great/Awesome, then suck it up, saw nest, repeat. Once you get the queen out, you can hold the saw on her, but if one of the black scorpions goes under your cursor, it'll make the saw hit that black one and stop hitting the queen until you release the mouse button and click her again.
I don't really know if I could put any tips onto this besides what I've already said...
Patient 2: Bug-eater Peter (2)
Eww, this guy is both green and puking. Something happened to him since the last time you saw him--seems he's got a bigger spider infestation. Maybe you missed some before? Anyways...
Repeat the process for getting rid of the spiders as the first time you operated on him. Eventually, you'll need to scan for the nest--hurt the nest by zapping it, and kill the queen ant by zapping it. It might take a few times to actually kill the queen, and once you zap her without killing her, she'll dissapear and make another nest where you zapped her at. Just make sure you get the poison pockets that spiders make when you open up the nest--no need to seal them until after you zapped the queen though (even if she simply makes a new nest, that's still a good time to seal the wounds).
Again, what's necessary has been said already. No tips.
Patient(s) 3: Ivan Henchman & Crime Boss
That's right, you have to patients in one operation! Well, it's sort of two (each has their own time and health meter), but if you fail the second one you have to start back at the first one, I think.
First, you'll work on Boss. I suggest healing him a few times (to about 40) before you actually start. It's pretty straightforward until you get inside him. Yes, those are leeches. Ignore them for now, they DO prevent bleeding, after all (or atleast they should, I didn't have him dying on me when I ignored them following the healing bit, and if I remove them, I still need that healing bit from before). Fix the two wounds after extracting the stuff, then fix the lungs. After you finish doing that, go ahead and burn the leeches, following that up by using the tongs to remove their dead bodies and then their jaws.
Same goes for Henchman (you shouldn't need to heal him since you aren't going to do any chainsawing), but you'll have to get some leeches on the outside first, and there's a queen leech on his heart--Get her out of the way FIRST, once you take a look at the heart. Then, deal with the already existing cuts and such before dealing with the leeches that spawned off her corpse.
Tips? No, sorry, not here...
Patient 4: Junkyard Guts (2)
Gus is back! Seems that some lady offered him a sandwhich, which he scarfed down quickly, despite the fact that it tasted like metal and came from a total stranger. Take a look inside, and... Whoa! A bomb! There's some food in your way that you'll wanna get rid of. You have to cut the wires in the proper numerological order, you can scan to get the numbers of each wire. Then, gently remove the firing pins (those white things below the wires), after which you want to burn those things that say "3A" on them. Do that, seal up the cut you made, and you're done.
For me, the order of the wires is ALWAYS orange, blue, brown, green, red. It might be so for you, too. The food won't count towards your counter, and doesn't count against it--Be sure to just remove two or three bits, then cut the orange wire quickly before removing more. You HAVE to have removed all the food to pull out the firing pins, but NOT to cut the wires.
Patient 5: Aureola Svelte
The assailant herself, the girl who psychotically (yet understandibly) follows and attacks criminals. Turns out, she was actually looking for that French guy, Horrace (who is actually Dwayne Pipe), not Dr. Bleed. She grabbed the partially defused bomb that had been removed from Guts' guts, not realizing it wasn't fully defused, and it blows up on her.
You might wanna heal her a couple of times to start off with. Pull out the glass shards, get some blood, put out the fire. On her liver there are two hidden bomb shards, which you treat like tracking chips. The whole level pretty much plays like this.
TIPS:
Remember how I told you to go a little slowly with Vince? Well, after you heal Aureola a few times, remove a glass shard, wait a bit (perhaps healing any burn marks from the fireballs shot off from the fire), take out the other one, then vacuum the blood, in order to put out the fire. Put the fire out, suck up blood, staple one wound, wait a bit, cauterize it, wait, gel, vacuum the blood around the other one, then just flat out seal that second one. You'll need the blood now if you want high combos.
Patient 6: Dr. Ignacious Bleed (2)
Looks like Dwayne was the cause of Dr. Bleed's failed surgeries! Now, he's used the poison he used on all those patients back then on Bleed himself! This has caused a LOT of different problems. You'll have to use all the skills you've learned before in order to cure him...
Kidneys: Cut out all four poison pockets, then vacuum up the first that you cut (you can suck both of the top ones up at the same time) and then the rest in order of when you cut them. Afterwards, get some blood, and seal up the wounds.
Lungs: Fire! Use your blood to put out all the fires EXCEPT the two on that red lump sticking out the cut. Once you put the others out, simply pull that red lump out--the fires are on IT, not the tissue. Seal up the wound.
Liver: There are some sharp crystals stuck in his liver. Pull them out and seal the cuts--Then, scan for the remaining two, cut them out, remove, seal cuts.
Heart: There's a parasite in his heart--You'll have to zap it just like you did with Ted. Try zapping it multiple times per time it sticks it's head out. Five zaps will kill it, after which you can seal the cuts, scan for him, remove him, seal that hole.
TIPS:
You'll want to be careful but swift. If you think you need to heal him, you should only need to do it at most once. The buried crystals are always in the same spot in the liver, so once you've memorized their location, you can get to them without scanning.
Patient 7: Horrace
Yes, his name is really Dwayne Pipe, but I don't want you knowing that without opening up any second-layer spoilers. Anyways, Officer Brutality caught him fleeing the scene and has begun brutally beating Dwight--until Dwight complains about his stomach, which something is happening to.
Turns out Alan missed some bugs--namely, a monster centipede thing. When you open up areas of him, you'll notice those small cuts that appear like when there's a parasite--but nothing will pop up under normal conditions. You'll need to use the chainsaw right infront of the most recent cut to appear, hold it down just a bit, so that you break off a chunk and release a bug queen of some sort. Kill off that bug and her lackies, then go to the next part, repeating the process.
Sorry, no tips, really...
End of the primary game! However, you've unlocked DeLirium from this, so you may want to swing over to the secret files...
SECRET FILES:
I'm numbering the patients here based on the order they're shown, but I'm listing them in order of when you can unlock them.
Patient 2: Stuporman
How to unlock: Finish the Blingitize submission with Donny Debonair in File 2.
Look over there! It's a Gourd, it's a Dame, no, it's Stuporman! Faster than a receding mullet, more powerful than... Well, you get the point, he's awesome, or so he says. Go go gadget feet, carry him to some surgeons! This Kraptonian (a person from the planet Krapton) has been poisoned by his nemesis, Les Loser, with Kraptonite. You'll have to remove it.
At first, this works just like the bullets in Trent Coat from file 1, but once you get to the second inside-zone, he'll have gotten tougher, so much so that the pizza cutter won't cut him anymore. You'll have to use the chainsaw as though it were the pizza cutter now! Other than that, it's still the same as before.
No tips necessary at this point.
Patient 1: BUM
How to unlock: Get atleast 100,000 points. I've heard it has to be on non-secret file missions, but I'm not sure on that.
Bio-Utility Mechanoid, or BUM, as people call it based of it's initials, is a robot with some trouble in it's circuiting. First, put something damp onto the red 'button' (in other words, gel it like a burn mark) to open the hatch. There are some battery like capsules, some brown liquid that came from them, and some debris scattered around. The debris acts like burn marks, and you need to vacuum up the brown stuff in order to put it into the capsules. After that, use the lighter on the hole you inserted the liquid through.
Next, the wires of the battery are torn a bit. You'll need to connect them using metal (staples, for example), and then you'll have to give it power-LOTS of power. Zap each of the newly-stapled wires once, then zap the battery in the middle.
TIPS:
Once you've opened the hatch, quickly suck up some of the brown liquid. Switch to the gel, use it on one debris mark, switch to the vacuum, fill up a capsule... Do this with all of them to keep the combo up.
Patient 3: DeLirium
How to unlock: Finish all twenty-seven primary operations.
WARNING: Due to a glitch involving the third pipe, you can only try to fix DeLirium ONCE each time you load the game. In other words, if you wanna try to fix it again, you'll have to refresh the page.
DeLirium, being a car, is made of mostly metal, meaning you'll be using the chainsaw, not the pizza cutter. The hood is like a ribcage, just cut it of, remove... In fact, the whole level is pretty much straight-forward. When moving the empty cylinder to the tray, though, make sure that you got the whole thing on the tray, not just the bottom.
No tips for this.
Posted by: Strokend
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May 18, 2009 10:02 PM