John Cooney, author of TBA, TBA2, Grid16, and the Ball Revamped series, has unveiled his latest epic adventure. Along with timeless, classic platforming gameplay, Achievement Unlocked offers you the opportunity to earn no less than One. Hundred. Achievements. Holy bat farts on a bus.
"100 achievements!?!?" I hear you splutter, spraying muffin crumbs all over your keyboard, "That is so many achievements, it puts me in personal danger! The dopamine-eating dwarf who lives in my brain will grow fat and heavy, and then my head will loll to one side and I'll have to walk all funny! My important work as a photograph-straightener will suffer! Please don't make me click on the game, Mr. Man With the Words."
But it's not me who requests your clickage. It's the elephant. He throws marvelous rave parties, his skin is a fetching shade of blue, he appreciates polka and ragtime music, and he thinks that you should play his game. It will hurt his feelings if you don't. Why do you want to hurt the elephant? Can't you understand the depth of his elephant emotions? He only wants to help you get achievements. Pretty, shiiiiiny achievements. Achievements are very useful. Maybe you can share them with your friends, or make a little house out of them. And then you and your friends can all live in the house with your new elephant buddy and you will be happy together and you can eat achievements for all your meals until there's no more house left.
And then you will be free.
Thanks to Repairmanman and Loki for sending this one in!