The Way the Gingerbread Cookie Crumbles

There's one item that I tried to use on myself, but needed to use on the place I wanted to go. That was odd.

he'd keep the gingerbread men for himself and send his friends out into the blizzard or something

I don't understand why that weird suction-cup gun couldn't work on that ceiling door. I mean, of course, it can't work because of the mechanics of the game. Still.

Kitchen
Grab the cookie mix off the counter while trying not to judge a guy who owns a beautiful flat like that not knowing how to read a recipe and make them from scratch because IT'S NOT THAT HARD, GEORGE, IT'S JUST SOME MIXING.

If you click the stove, you learn that you are terrible at taking care of your own things and it's broken.

Open the refrigerator for the mayonnaise for a DISGUSTING purpose later.

Oh, and open the lower cabinet to the right of the stove for some bread.

There are a lot of other cool things in the kitchen that you can't click/won't use.

Look around your own living space right now, though. Do you have as much co-opted First Nations art in your own living room? Maybe you might want to think about that.

Click to the left of the screen. For now, you can't go right.

Living Room
Click the spiky plant for a piece of it because later you're going to hate a house guest and that plant'll come in handy.

You can click the door. It won't do any good, but you can click it.

Notice the pull-door in the ceiling. In the game, you'll want to access that. You can't at the moment. In real life, you NEVER WANT TO GO IN THE ATTIC. If the documentary "The Exorcist" taught us anything, it's that doctor's used to smoke in hospitals, and nothing good comes from the attic.

Click to the left.

The Bedroom
It's a tasteful, if busily appointed, bedroom.

Click the burlap? Pillow? Is that a burlap pillow? It's disgusting, whatever it is, but click it because you need the key.

You need the key because the top cabinet on the left is locked.

There's a ghost costume in there because George is...look. I'm not here to pass judgment on George. But I am saying that you probably want to limit contact with him to the occasional email and ONLY group outings in a safe location where you've scoped out the exits.

You can click around again, in some drawers and cabinets, for no good purpose except to say that you've rifled through a strange man's belongings but you'll want to keep that to yourself in the event of a trial.

Head to the left again.

The Bathroom
If you're me, you'll weep for awhile at the size of the bathtub hinted at in this image because it looks HUGE and your own home only has a shower stall with a mold problem so if you have any hints that don't involve me actually having to clean, send them my way!

The left cabinet has a weird sucker-cup gun. No, I don't know why. STOP ASKING ME.

Also, George has TOO MANY CHRISTMAS LIGHTS and having them in the bathroom seems like a TERRIBLE idea.

George is kind of the worst.

Go all the way to the right, to the Kitchen.

The Kitchen, Again
You've got that creepy ghost costume, right? What should you do with it?

You should put it on.

Ah, but the game is NOT intuitive about this. If you try to put it on, it won't work.

If you click on the ghost costume and then click on the door to the room where the party is happening, you'll get a cut-scene.

You'll be in the party room.

The Party Room
MAN this party looks terrible.

Talk to the first guest, who is trying to liven up the party with what is no doubt her fourth glass of wine in about half-an-hour. Her name is Erikka. She's kind of useless.

Talk to the blond guy who looks like Owen Wilson. His name is Bas. He'll tell you he's hungry. You'll give him the bread.

Bas then tries to gross you out by asking for a herring sandwich.
You'll want to run far away, but this game isn't intuitive and won't let you burn your own home down with these guests in it as you start a new life somewhere where people don't ask for herring. You don't have herring. There is no herring to get for him. So: put the mayonnaise on the bread. Give it to Bas. Try not to barf.

Bas is still not satisfied, because SOMEONE wasn't raised right, and he'll want you to add something with a kick to the sandwich. Throw in those no-doubt poisonous leaves. Click on the leaves, click on the mayonnaise-soaked sandwich, hand it to Bas.

This causes Bas to open a window in order to ostensibly vomit. Or whatever. The point is: open window. You can now use the weird sucker-cup gun on the window to get a key.

Use the key on the chest by the Christmas tree. Because that's where you keep your candy canes. Because you're a FREAK, George, and we are all VERY WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

(You can talk to Margaret if you want. But it's not worth your time, really.)

Head back to the living room with the attic door in the ceiling that I warned you about before but you probably didn't listen because NO ONE LISTENS TO ME.

Living Room, Again
For reasons that make no sense, you'll use the candy cane that was so precious to you that you locked it away in a chest to try and pry open/pull down the stairs to the attick.

This won't work.

But it kinda does work.

Because you dislodge a piece of cheese.

I KNOW.

What will you do with the cheese?

Certainly not throw it away like a human being.

You're heading back to your bedroom.

The Bedroom, Again
Guess what? You keep vermin! You're a guy named George and you're SUPER weird and you throw lame parties and you keep a pet mouse in your home in a hole in the floor.

Give the cheese to the mouse by putting it in front of the hole.

The mouse is named Cinnamon, and that's cute, but only until you remember, again, that it's a VECTOR OF DISEASE LIVING IN YOUR HOME.

Cinnamon gives you a gift.

Because that's not weird.

(Cf: The movie "Ben" and its sequel "Willard.")

Open the gift.

It's the missing part of your stove!

Which leads to a lot of questions that I'll answer off-line if you need me to. I HAVE THEORIES.

Go back to the kitchen.

Kitchen, Again
Put the knob on the oven.

Hooray! You're almost a functioning adult!

Then, put the box of cookie mix in the oven.

Then serve those cookies -- prepared with the help of a flea-ridden rat! -- to your friends!