You like old games, right? Games that were made before everyone had a computer in their home. Or games that were made last week and just look like they came out of the decade that brought us Prince, Trapper Keepers, and rolled-down socks. Simplicity knows no age, of course, and that's just what these games strive for in one way or another.
Annie Android (Windows, 4.5MB, free) - A short 2D adventure in the style of classic LucasArts and Sierra games. Living in a world full of emotionless robots, Annie wants nothing more than to ask the handsome Mailbot out on a date. Unfortunately she has been assigned to be another bot's partner. That just won't do! Annie sets out to win his heart and defeat RoboHQ, you know, while she's out and about. Created by Ben Chandler, the entire game is drawn using a six-color palette as a self-imposed artistic limitation.
You Probably Won't Make It (Windows, 3.6MB, free) - From the expert in games that are both punishing and a punishment within themselves, Jesse Venbrux (Karoshi: Suicide Salaryman), comes a single-screen platform game that will make you yell in agony. Tap the [up] arrow key to jump, tap it again to double jump. Make it to the exit and don't touch the spikes. If you fail, a bloody mess is smeared across the screen and you have to do it all over again, this time staring at a path left by your previous attempt. Good luck.
Assassin Blue (Windows, 9.4MB, free) - A combat-centric platformer game where you play an assassin crawling, jumping and climbing through a castle dispatching ninjas with cool sword moves. Tap the attack button just before your enemy attacks and you'll slice right through them in a very bloody (and dramatic) way. Break an enemy's guard with a special attack, then perform your hitman moves while he's stunned. Download a music pack with better-quality sounds from the link above, or just stick with the fairly catchy MIDI tunes the small download comes with.
Ping Pong! (Windows, 2.3MB, free) - It's ping pong! It was made by cactus! Don't let the simple visuals fool you, there's actually a game to master at the core. There are several different types of hits you can perform, all using [z] and one of the [arrow] keys. How you serve and return shots is all part of the strategy. The computer opponent is nice, but it's even better to sit down with a friend for some multiplayer ping pong!
House Globe (Mac/Win, 15MB, free) - Crafted by Oxeye Studio (Harvest: Massive Encounter), House Globe is a "demake" of Relic's classic real time strategy game, Homeworld. Your mothership is the large craft near the center of the screen. Harvest resources by sending ships out ot nearby asteroid fields and use them to research more powerful technologies and defend yourself from alien attackers. The source game is one of the first successful 3D RTS games, so naturally House Globe is 2D!