Hey dudes, dudettes, and other assorted mammals! Another week has come and gone, bringing us yet closer to our inevitable demise as time marches inexorably onwards! Yaaaaaay! Let's celebrate by playing games that will help us forget, however briefly, our own fleeting mortality! Sure hope there's nothing about, say, a zombie apocalypse in here to remind us what fragile shells we really... oh. Oh.
- The Sagittarian 2 - [Parental Advisory: Contains foul language and violence.] I'm beginning to think it's time we sat down with zombies and had a heart-to-heart, Jerry Springer style, about our inherent hostilities, and how we could potentially come to a peaceful solution to all these headshots/braaaaaaaains! In the meantime, though, I guess we'll have to succumb to our baser instincts with this point-and-click adventure follow-up to the original post-apocalyptic romp from Hyptosis. Jerry would be so disappointed in us... he really cares, you know?!
- Tentacle Wars: The Purple Menace - Part real-time strategy, part Galcon homage, and part naughty-sounding title, this game should fulfill your needs for tentacled domination. Take over nearby organisms by sprouting tentacles to decrease their numbers, then slicing the appendage off when you've done all you can or need to regenerate your own microbes. If only this was also the approved method for getting the best seats at the movie theater, or the last slice of pizza at a party.
- Gravity Boy - I'm starting to wonder what kind of grudge developers have against gravity. Did their parents miss their school play to attend a lecture on Isaac Newton? In any case, here's the latest attempt to subjugate that bad ol' force of nature with physics puzzle platforming. As Gravity Boy, you have the power to freeze time and flip the screen around you, and where you or I might use this ability to make all the Reese's Pieces on the other side of the room fall right into our mouths (a practical application if ever I heard one), he uses it to collect all the coins needed to open the exit in each level.
- iStunt 2 - Because my body reacts resentfully to anything more athletically demanding than my daily workout by trying to make me kill myself with clumsiness, I'm afraid this arcade game about snowboarding will have to be the closest I get to being a celebrated stunt superstar. Just use the [arrow] keys to control your character's flips and turns, grab stars, flags, and watch out for common natural hazards like drops, snow drifts, trees, and low-hanging buzz-saws suspended in midair. (Just another way Mother Nature wants you to know she hates when you enjoy yourself.)
- Arm Surgery 2 - [Note: Contains a small amount of blood and tissue, and might not be for the squeamish.] If Dark Cut is too much for you, but you're still determined to save lives, then you might want to give this little sim game a whirl. Unsurprisingly, the goal here is to follow the on-screen instructions to perform surgery on someone's arm. (In addition to being a doctor, deducing that also qualifies you to be a detective.) It's short, but a bright, cheery alternative to Alan Probe or actually breaking your arm.
- Katamari Hack - [Please note that this is made specifically for the Google Chrome browser, and may not work in other browsers.] Because of the limitations of this little webtoy, I've included it as a SUPAR SEEKRIT bonus addition to this week's Link Dump Friday. Intended as an homage to Katamari Damacy, the "game" is simple; just paste the code into the address bar of whatever site you're on, and then roll your little ball around, picking up all the text and images to grow bigger. Limited and admittedly kinda pointless? Sure. But entertaining? You bet. I've sadly never even played Katamari before, but as soon as that music kicked in I felt something akin to love at first sight from across a crowded room. Da-DA-da-da-da-dadada-KATAMARI DAMA-CEEEEE!