(Note: This game contains some mature content and is not the kind of game that should be shared with the little ones. Also, if you have a particularly uptight employer, this game may not be safe for work. But then, if your boss is really that bad, Freecell probably isn't safe for work either. You have been warned.)
Life is full of surprises, even if you happen to be a specimen of male perfection with a penchant for tuxedo tops and a nice breeze around all points south. For instance, one moment you are doing what you were meant to do, nay, born to do, in gracing the ladies with the greatest gift anyone could possibly bestow upon them (that would be yourself), and the next you are hauled in front of the leaders of the free world and tasked with putting a stop to an evil organization known only as "The Sisterhood."
Just as you are about to get over that nasty little surprise, you come to find out that your father, the very man who taught you the beautiful and wondrous art of being a gigolo, has maintained a super secret spy operations center in the very same room in which he trained you in the ways of seduction.
There is, of course, only one way to cope with all of this. For most of us, that would be to promptly sit in a corner and go happily insane. But for those proud few who have earned the right to call themselves gigolo, the only thing for them to do is strap on their jetpacks and head straight into harm's way.
And thus the stage is set for the new Adult Swim point-and-click adventure, Gigolo Assassin, brought to us by London based Mediatonic, the same folks who put together the insanely awesome Alan Probe: Amateur Surgeon series. The big difference between their first [adult swim] title and this new venture is that you trade mouse-based dexterity obstacles in favor of good old fashioned adventure game puzzle solving.
In this first installment of a three part series, you must guide your gigolo (I named mine Bruce Digelow) through an isolated tropical island in order to put a stop to the sinister goings on of one Alana Lamia. In so doing you will meet an assortment of unique (and decidedly non-unique) characters as well as solve item based puzzles much along the same vein as the old Sierra and Lucas Arts point-and-click adventures.
Can you put a stop to the diabolical plans of The Sisterhood with nothing but a well-tailored dinner jacket and a sweet banana hammock? The world may just well depend upon it!
Analysis: For someone who cut his teeth on the exploits of Sam & Max and Larry Laffer, it just doesn't get much better than this. In fact, I was more than a little pleasantly surprised at just how well this game is put together.
Usually when I find an online point-and-click adventure, I get my hopes way up only to find myself sadly unfulfilled ten or twenty minutes later. Not so with the Gigolo Assassin.
While the story is not exactly award winning material, at the very least Gigolo takes the time to tell it; using the many interactions and developments to put its dark and innuendo riddled humor on full display.
Meanwhile, the puzzles posed to you throughout the course of the game aren't of the brain breaking variety that hardcore room escapers will no doubt crave, but they aren't so easy that they make you wonder what's the point of even having a puzzle there in the first place?
Indeed, while the humor is the central driving force of Gigolo Assassin, the puzzles play a perfect compliment. They are spaced just far enough to drive the plot from one point to the next without bogging you down with an inventory full of items and little clue as to what to do with them. Even better, just about every single puzzle and its solution are both logical and relevant. Those frustrating moments where you wonder how on Earth you were supposed to know you had to talk to a tree or wear a mop on your head or feed some guy a handful of prunes are thankfully done away with.
Adding to this are the aesthetics that should be happily familiar to Alan Probe veterans. The visuals look like they came from a children's book gone horribly wrong, and the music score just seems to fit right in, particularly the disco theme that adds just that right hint of sleaziness.
Indeed, I would have been hard pressed to point out anything bad to say about the game if it weren't for one glaring fault. Throughout the course of this game, you're going to have a lot of conversations and unfortunately you can only explore one conversation path at a time. This means that you have to start from the very beginning of every single conversation every time you want to pick a different query.
This seems to be a terribly unnecessary inconvenience considering that the norm for such dialogue sequences is to just go back to the last player prompt.
Outside of this, and perhaps a navigation system that can be at times a little finicky, this adventure should keep you well entertained for some time. And it's only the first episode!
Cheers to Paul, Marius, Illarion, Janine, Sam, Amber, and Yamishinigami for suggesting this one! =)
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Gigolo Assassin walkthrough
Go left 'till you reach the pirates' boat. There is a golden rock, pick it up. Moreover, pick up the hilt just next to the skeleton against the boat.
Go up the other side of the island and you'll see a golden fish jump in and out of the water. Use the rock on the fish and pick its corpse up.
Go left and use the fish with the pirate named Atrocious. He will give you a blade. Use the hilt with the blade. You now have a cutlass.
Now go left and you'll find a an entrance blocked by some vines. Cut them off with your cutlass.
You can now go through that entrance. Talk to Lord Simeon and choose the "This place?" option. Go on talking until you have to choose between another three options. Choose "Then why?".
You have to capture a monkey. Pick up jungle fruit (it's on a bush) and go back to the beach, go to the left. Use the cut vines with the interesting tree and the fruit with the trap.
Go left again and then back to the right. The monkey will be slinged away. Pick up a coconut and go back to Lord Simeon. Use the coconut with him and he will give you a blue diamond.
Use the diamond with the Temple door. Talk to the statue to the right and tell it first "THEY WILL BE STRUCK DOWN WITH A CURSE", then "THIRTEEN".
Enter the Temple and go left. Use switches 2-3-4-6. Go back to the beach where there's the tree you used for the monkey trap. Pick up a coconut.
Enter the Temple again and go left twice. Go straight ahead and enter the kitchen. Pick up the small golden cup. Then talk to the voodoo priest, give him the coconut and the cup.
Give the waiter your cocktail (he will enter the kitchen whenever you do). Follow him to the bathroom (it's to the right of the Temple's lobby) and talk to him.
Get back to the lobby. Talk to the bouncer, tell him you're the waiter, then go up with the lift.
Talk to Princess Pussycat. Choose "Flirt outrageously", "Read rights", "Hit her with a line". Now go left.
Talk to Alana and tell her you're a gigolo and a sexy waiter (though I think whatever you tell her is fine to go ahead with the game).
Go to the bathroom. Use the waiter's uniform with the waiter. Go to the lobby and talk to the two girls, Larry and Edgar.
Go to the kitchen and talk to the voodoo priest. He will give you a screwdriver. Use it on the grate over the wall of the second toilet, in the bathroom. Pick up the mask and take it to the priest.
Go back to the beach. Talk to Atrocious. He will give you a burnt fish. Enter the Temple and go up the lift. Give the tiger the burnt fish. Pick up the key.
Go to the beach, then to the pirates' ship. Use the key with the treasure chest (to the left, in the low corner). Pick up the guitar and give it to the Captain.
After the party, pick up the Captain's wooden leg. Go to the kitchen. On the way, use the wooden leg with a torch. In the kitchen, pick up the hacksaw and the empty bag (right next to it).
Use the hacksaw on cupboard 3 and pick up the mask. Go back to the party room. Use the mask with the voodoo priest. Go to the beach.
Use the mask with the tiger. Go to the LEFT until you get to the pier. Use the hacksaw with the pier (it won't work if the tiger is on the pier). Go left and then right.
Now go left to the pirates' fireplace. Use the empty bag with soot TWICE. Pick up the kerosene.
Enter the Temple. Go to the bathroom and pick up the toilet paper of the left toilet. Then use the toilets in this order: right, left, middle, middle.
Go to the lobby, enter the snake door and pick up the jeweled egg. Use the full bag of soot with the pedestal and go out.
Go to the beach and the pirates' ship. Use the keg of kerosene with the ship, the toilet paper with the planted keg and the burning leg with the paper. Then, use the DNA machine.
Go to the Temple and go up with the lift. Talk to Princess Pussycat, choosing the option you prefer. Go left, then right. Pick up the fish, under the Princess' couch.
Go to the party room. Use the fish with the first snake, the egg with the second one, the essence with the third one.
Talk to the butler. Say either of the options, and you'll end up in a creepy bedroom.
Pick up the GLASS SHARD in the bottom left corner of the screen. Use the shard on the BED SHEETS. Then, pick up the TINY KEY hiding in the bedpost. Use the BED SHEETS on the RISING DAMP, and the tiny key on the DESK DRAWER. You'll get the SKULL MIRROR out of the drawer. Use the closed curtains and then use the wet rags on the dirty window. Use the open curtains to close them again.
Use the skull mirror on the HOLE IN THE BEDPOST to illuminate the rug. Use the rug to pull it off and reveal a SECRET SWITCH. Use the switch and exit out the secret passageway in the wardrobe.
Exit the entire secret corridor, but REMEMBER THE POSITIONS OF THE KNIGHTS IN THIS HALLWAY, THEIR WEAPONS, AND THEIR COLORS. You'll need it later. (It'll be provided for you later on if you're lazy. :D)
Talk to Sawtooth (the plant). Say "Get to the root of the problem", and "Women troubles, huh?" He'll let you through to Graveyard West - pick up the COMPOST in the grave and the GARDEN SHEARS stuck in the ground. Go back to Graveyard East.
Talk to Sawtooth and use the garden shears on him. Talk to Sawtooth again and use the compost on him. Talk to him again and say "Smooth and subtle". Go to Graveyard West, past the Gravedigger, through the Pool Room (ignore Trixie), and talk to the Butler. Say "The Residence" and "What a coincidence!". Go back to the Gravedigger and talk to him. When you have the ring, go back to the butler and give him the finger (haha).
Go to the left door and through the Picture Room. Pick up the black book just above Death's scythe. Use the book to get a pack of cards. Go down the ladder and to the left to the three ghosts playing poker.
Pick up the tiny wedge under Svetlana Thighs' chair. Talk to Biggie Fats and say "I've go the cards". Talk to Cruel-hand Luke and start a Pick-up Line battle. Basically, you say a pick-up line. If they use the right retort, they are now able to ask the pick-up lines. You need to have him say the wrong retort three times to win (marked by the hearts in the corners). Click the yellow circle to start him talking, then when he retorts and asks a question retreat from the battle. Start again and use the second pick up line, then the first, then retreat again. Keep going down the line backwards like this until you amass enough pick-up lines to make him lose.
Talk to Death and leave the library. Go talk to the Gravedigger and say "Why not?" and "I'm smart!" for another Pick-up Line Battle. Do the same thing as you did with Cruel-hand Luke. You will get a MALEVOLO FAMILY TIARA for your trouble. Give the tiara to the butler to get access to the upstairs area.
Pose the black knight with the lance and the white knight with the sword with the "use" function. Go upstairs and walk through the dining room to the Golden picture corridor, then through it to the Stairway Entrance. Pick up the JAM JAR and pose the white knight with the mace. Go up the stairs twice and pose the black knight with the morning star. You should see "RUMBLE" on the screen if you did it right.
For all the knights, for you lazy people:
Use the white knight with the mace twice, the black knight with the morning star thrice, the white knight with the sword once, and the black knight with the lance once.
Go back to the Golden Picture corridor and use the pentagram of arcane fury. You will get a GOLDEN HELMET, proving you are the Gold Knight. Go all the way back downstairs (grabbing the fish in the tank with the jam jar first) to the entrance hall and use the mysterious curtains to open them. Go downstairs.
Pick up the FLIPPERS by the rocking horse and the BEIGE BEAR in the corner. Pick up the CROWBAR (the Gimp will jump out at you) and walk back to the Graveyard.
Go back to Graveyard West and use the fish on the well. Use the flippers on the well to dive in after him. Follow the fish through the maze (right right down down right right up up) until you make it to the secret lab. Pick the fish up with the jar again and take the HEART IN A JAR on the far right of the middle set of shelves. Use the LAB LEVER and go through to the Pool Room.
Go to the secret corridor where all the rusted knights are, and use the crowbar on the hastily concealed doorway. Use the ominous lever and go all the way back to the playroom. Go through the wardrobe where the Gimp scared the bejeezus out of you and take the HORRIFIC, BLOODIED KEY. Go back to the pool room.
Use the horrific, bloodied key on the nightmarish-looking chest and put the beige bear in the bloodied pool of unimaginable horror. Use the now-BLOODIED BEAR on the barbed, vicious-looking hook in the middle of the screen. Climb down the pool ladder and grab the Boss Key.
Go back to the Holding Cell and use the Boss Key on the Inhabitant. Talk to *gasp* Dannii Matrix to find out that her daughter Trixie - Dannii Matrix the Second - has been watching you all along. In the cutscene that follows, you will call Sleep and wake up to find Dannii Matrix II to be missing.
Go talk to the Gravedigger for ANOTHER Pick-up Line Battle (*sigh*). You will get an OIL CAN as your prize. Use it on the patch of oil behind you and go through the secret corridor. Notice all the knights are gone - Dannii Matrix (the evil one) has taken the Black Knights to protect her, so now you need to find all the White Knights and convince them to fight for you.
Use the heart in a jar on White Knight One, and the Fish on White Night Two. Use the full can of oil on the rusty switch, and use the switch. Go through and talk to the Gimp to get the BLUE THONG. Go down the stairs until you run into White Knight Four, and talk to him again for ANOTHER PICK-UP LINE BATTLE!!! But, you should have enough by now that you don't need to keep restarting. Anyway, once you beat him, go all the way downstairs (but you have to go around because Dannii Matrix is blocking the corridor) and give the blue thong to White Knight Three. Watch the whole cutscene.
First pick up the green pipe, use the US flag . Walk to greenhouse entrance, pick up green pipe .Walk to spider queen control center. Walk to bridge of doom. Talk to bob getting the tape .Walk to spider control center, pick up green pipe. Walk to tank slot machine. Use pipe pieces on slot 7,6,8,11,12. Place the tape in vending slot A getting the screwdriver. Walk to spider queen center. Use US flag. Use screwdriver on speakers. Use us flag. Plug in computer, type brutus. Talk to Enis on the computer. Click "God" then :tribute" getting the walkman. Talk to pirates and get lighter. Use speakers on walkman. Walk to slot machine. Use screwdriver on vending slot B getting the tape. Use tape on boom-box. Use boom-box on vending slot B get the bug spray. Use bug spray on lighter . Walk to greenhouse entrance. Use flamethrower on spider webs. Walk back to tank slots. Get the boom box. Walk back to the greenhouse . Walk to greenhouse spider den.. Use boom box. Walk to tank slots. Get the three headed monkey wrench. Walk to the giant spider . Use monkey wrench on spider. Pick up brick. Use US flag . Use brick on fire extinguisher. Use US flag . Use fire extinguisher on spider. Use computer unplugged. Plug in computer. Walk to greenhouse entrance. Pick up walk panel. Walk to bridge of doom. Use walk panel on scorched patch of earth. use fire extinguisher on wall panel. Pick up wall panel. Walk to spider queen center . Walk to tank slots. Get the screwdriver. Walk to spider queen center. Pick up orange pipe before you go to bridge of doom. Walk inside volcano. Use pipe on smashed lava pipe . Use wall panel on pipe hole. Use screwdriver on loose panel. Walk back to spider queen control center. Walk to vending slots. Walk to tank chambers . Use fish tank switch. Use skank tank switch .and Larry tank switch. Walk to vending slots . Use screwdriver on vending slot until you get the knife. Walk to spider queen control center. Talk to larry on the computer. Pick why are you in the throne room? Then Power, getting the egg of power. Walk back to the volcano room. Use egg of power on power slot. Walk to spider queen control center. Talk to Gravedigger on the computer. get the pick up line. Then talk to the Gimp. Get pick up line. Walk to the greenhouse spider den. Pick up berries. Use berries on the web knot on top of the branch. Talk to the trapped monkey. Use the knife on the trapped monkey. Talk to the british guy on the floor. Get pick up line. Walk to the tank chambers. Use delegate tank switch. Walk back to the volcanco room. Talk to sal 8999. Pick start pick up line battle. Then pick "all your base are belong to us. then pick "I can haz cheeseburger? and last pick "never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down. and you BEAT THE GAME.
Posted by: helen | June 24, 2009 6:48 PM