Get Off My Lawn
The neighborhood kids are on your lawn again, and it's time to take action. And that action is murder. The blob-like troublemakers come in all sorts of species and flavors. Fast blobs, slow blobs, blobs wearing protective welding masks, blobs wearing dorky glasses, explosive blobs... and they all want nothing more than to ruin your beautiful length and edge work. Why? Because the dirty little anarchists hate order. In Get Off My Lawn, a new arena combat game from Hot Air Raccoon, you finally decide to put an end to all the shenanigans, armed with the oversized blades on your trusty, indestructible, probably non-regulation lawn mower.
Just move around with the mouse and barge into enemies to splatter them all over your careful landscaping. Anarchist juice makes good fertilizer. When your power gauge is charged, hold the mouse button to activate a spinning cyclone attack that sucks in all the bad guys on the screen and mulches them together. That's an important tactic, since you'll be able to buy all kinds of upgrades between rounds, and killing several cute blob-people in a row multiplies the money you get by quite a lot.
This is obviously a partial tribute to Amorphous+, although it lacks that game's delicate balance. The action in Get Off My Lawn has all the precision of a sniper riding a unicycle. If this were a movie, the director would keep telling the actors to "careen more".
And that's both good and bad for an action game. Mostly, Get Off My Lawn is all about light-hearted carnage. "Weeeeee, ahm killin' stuff!" is the zen mantra here, followed often by "Come back, jello-man! Stay on the screen so I can splatter yoooooo!" For anything hardy enough to take a couple of whacks from the lawnmower, it's too easy to shove them out of bounds and lose the all-important bounty. And when everything is spazzing around like a pack of blind two-year olds full of Hallowe'en candy, it's hard to do skill-intensive things like attack a moving target from behind, or dodge an explosion.
In the end, Get Off My Lawn keeps such a firm toothy grip on the idea of fast-paced, campy, semi-violent entertainment, it's easy to forgive its lack of depth. As an up-and-coming geezer myself, I can appreciate the wish-fulfillment aspect of a game where you slice a gang of pranksters into grill strips. Oh yes, one day my crankiness will be feared.