You don't know what you need. Link Dump Friday knows what you need. Here, have this glass of champahgnah and put on this bathrobe while you partake of the most succulent physics puzzles, the tenderest giant robot battles, the most supple zombie mazes. All for you, my pet. Let us gaze into each other's eyes and sit uncomfortably close to one another while the squeals of pigs tumbling down into the earth soothes your fretful brow... are you soothed yet?... no?
... ah, crud. I was never that good at this. I guess it's true what they say; it's not easy bein' sleazy.
- Truffle Hunter - I'd always heard that pigs were somehow involved with that delicious little garnish I get overcharged for at fancy restaurants, but I hadn't realised it apparently consisted of dropping jiggly piglets down hand-carved mineshafts for truffles and diamonds. Which, if we're honest, basically sounds like the best gig ever. The game is basically a one-trick piggy despite its 25 levels, but it's cute, squealy fun that won't bring Animal Protection knocking on your door. Unlike that Extreme Canary Fighting ring you have in your basement you think nobody knows about. Oops.
- Mouse Megatron - [Reassurance] This is a synopsis written by a human and not a robotic infiltrator encased in supple, fragile flesh for the purposes of eventual invasion. [Description] Use your mouse or equivalent device to control a fine example of enormous robotics with gestures as you strike down similarly large creatures. The controls are awkward but it should suffice to ensure that you are properly cowed by the steel might of your new robotic overlords when they strike. [Clarification] That was a joke, such as a human might make. Ha. Ha. Enjoy, meatbag.
- Dummy Never Fails - This little physics game is awfully familiar, but it's fun and well made. Shoot hapless crash test dummies and hit the target to proceed. Ironically, the biggest flaw is dummy really does never fail; far too many levels can simply be bulldozed through without any finesse, which means you never really feel like you're accomplishing anything or showcasing your superstar skills. Sure, you won't unlock most of the skins, but you didn't need to put your dummy in a cheerleader outfit anyway, right?... right?
- Release the Mooks - Another game to test your physics skillz, the simple little title has you dropping "Mooks" from the ceiling so that they stack properly without falling over or throwing the balance of the whole structure off. It's cute, but a little repetitive. Just what are the Mooks? I have no clue. But just in case releasing them turns out to be a spectacularly bad idea on par with adopting a Tribble, I had nothing to do with this. It's all on you, skipper.
- Haunted Mirror Maze - Previously featured in an installment of Mobile Monday, this little puzzle game is now available for those of you without an iPhone. (You know, the ones who wanted to be able to afford to eat this year.) Use clues to track down creatures of the night on a grid with logic and mirrors as your guide. If you're afraid of monsters, don't worry; the critters featured within are strictly of the adorable variety. Why, that zombie is cute as a button! A rotting, shambling, slowly putrefying button that hungers for your succulent sheets of flesh! D'awwww.
- Clockwords Act One - [Text by super special guest star Kyle.] The follow up to last year's Best of 2009 winner, has finally arrived. You'll enjoy the same great gameplay that made the first installment a hit along with a bit of a cosmetic facelift as well. Type a word, any word, and watch as your mysterious machine uses it as ammo to fend off wave upon wave of attacking clockwork spiders. The bigger the words you use, the more damage you do. In between levels you'll be able buy specialty letters to make even more powerful words to keep the secret stealing automatons at bay. A special premium edition is also available for the purchase of 2.99 USD that unlocks additional stages and new abilities.