Happy Friday, noble reader! It's another installment of games, games, games, earnest heartfelt talks about our feelings, and games! I know every week you show up here, your eyes full of light and hope, and... I just wanted to make today special for you. So... I got you a pony. But while I was filling out the pony paperwork I got hungry, so I ate it.
Kidding, I'm just kidding!
I would never get you a pony. I spent the Pony Fund on tricked out glasses and these platform shoes with goldfish in the heels. It's probably for the best, anyway. I hear ponies rarely make it through Customs these days.
- What's For Dinner? - Track down your ingredients, cut them up properly, and then prepare them according to the directions... all within a time limit! This time management/simulation game looks good, but the controls and the time constraints occasionally make it difficult to enjoy yourself. At seven recipes, it feels a little brief. Maybe the next installment will include an Extreme Mode where Gordon Ramsay makes you cry into your bolognese. I hear tears are the perfect seasoning.
- Rotato - It's ultra simple, but this hand-drawn match-3 sliding game is also ultra cute, and ultra weird. Rotate the screen to drop the blocks into place and make matching sets disappear. Do you ever wonder where they go when they vanish? I think they go to the place all magical creatures go, like unicorns, leprechauns, and films by Sam Raimi.
- Mecharon - This top-down shooter featuring enough eight legged freaks to give even the manliest of men the squigglies is fun, if a bit repetitive. Each time you level up, you're granted a perk instead of points to sink into stats, which means you've got to sink some time into it before you really shake up the gameplay with your own minibot. It's nothing you haven't seen before, but, c'mon. Dude? Mech. It's a mech, dude. You shouldn't need justification for stomping around in a mechanized death suit.
- Lab Rat: Quest For Cheese - It's edutainment with this maze game featuring a lovingly animated rat searching for increasingly exotic cheeses. The gameplay is stock standard... I mean, you're a rat in a maze. But there's something weirdly charming about it all, not the least of which is the mini detail of each fine cheese you discover. I predict exotic cheese trading is going to be the new craze on the playgrounds. Instead of tiny animated creatures, Timmy and Billy will be slugging it out over Gruyere.
- vel.blast - Lucidrine's latest, while not as knock-down, drag out insane as, say, Cube Colossus, is still pretty nuts. In that it's a shooter... but you don't actually shoot. Which is not to say there won't be any bullets on screen. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. Ha. No. What you've got is shields, upgrades, and achievements. And that sound? That's the enemy laughing at you. You going to let them get away with that? Oh, I also heard they said your shirt is ugly.