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The Dark Room (YouTube)


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Rating: 4.5/5 (105 votes)
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joyeThe Dark RoomTo put your mind at ease, you will not be eaten by a grue in The Dark Room, but as you struggle to escape from this fiendish and hilarious YouTube-based puzzler you'll probably meet with a number of other unfortunate ends. Such as accidentally gouging your own eyes out, electrocuting yourself on a light switch, or growing a really unattractive beard. And all the while, you'll have to deal with the taunts of Australian comedian John Robertson, who has some choice words for your promiscuity with walls after you grope in the dark for the light switch. "Now even the walls don't respect you. And they are capable of respect, but not for you. Not anymore."

At the risk of tautology, dark room is dark. You can't look around. You can't check your inventory. You can't go north, or to Southampton. You could try weeping, but that might not get you very far. You can't even see your own tears. It's a dark room. You might try thinking outside of the box, but... "Thinking outside the box would only help if you were inside a box, but you're not, you're here. In The Dark Room."

The Dark RoomIf you've never played a YouTube game before, the game relies on annotations (pop-up links) to lead you from video to video. Most of the endings require nothing more than a determination to click everything clickable and a sharp eye for hidden annotations, but the "100% Best" ending does require downloading a certain video and performing some basic editing on it, something that is possible to do with freeware you may already have. (Without spoiling too much, the "Best" ending isn't actually that good for you as a character, as you might expect from the sadistic host, so the satisfaction of it is more the sense of accomplishment.)

Robertson made the game as a clever self-advertisement for his comedy shows, and for the most part it functions to advertise himself simply by being wickedly funny. There is one video labeled "sell out" that is an explicit advertisement, giving dates and locations for upcoming shows, but you can certainly just skip that video if you're not interested. The language is fairly salty, and there is described violence, but visually the game isn't offensive, so you'll be alright with headphones on if you have to consider others in the room. The experience is somewhat akin to You Find Yourself in a Room but the antagonist is rather a good old-fashioned human bully, albeit wittier than most. Robertson has also been adding more content, such as a Valentine's Day section, and the "Best" ending promises a sequel, so this is definitely a game to watch. But you can't watch.

Because you're in The Dark Room.

Play The Dark Room

Walkthrough Guide


(Please allow page to fully load for spoiler tags to be functional.)

The Dark Room Walkthrough (Endings and Easter Eggs)

  • NB 1: Some endings have more than one possible path. One way is given for each. Also these are not "endings" in the sense of deaths, but in the sense of dead ends or hidden easter eggs.

  • NB 2: You actually do need to die to get places in this game. The "start over" buttons usually do NOT send you back to the first video, so make sure you click them!

Dead Ends:

Failure 1 Smiley Face:

  1. Dark Room

  2. Go north

  3. Chuck pockets

  4. Weep

  5. Exit

  6. Unplug Computer

No:

  1. Dark Room

  2. Go north

  3. Check pockets

  4. Czech pockets

  5. "Will you ever be kind to me?"

Not in Kansas Anymore:

  1. Dark Room

  2. Turn on light switch

  3. Look for light switch

  4. Find light switch

  5. I see

  6. Touch wall

  7. Touch other wall

  8. Apologize

  9. Smell room

  10. "That doesn't make sense!"

  11. Think outside box

  12. Think outside room

  13. Click heels together 3x

9999:

  1. Dark Room

  2. Turn on light switch

  3. Look for light switch

  4. Find light switch

  5. I see

  6. Touch wall

  7. Touch other wall

  8. Apologize

  9. Smell room

  10. "That doesn't make sense!"

  11. Think outside box

  12. Think outside room

  13. Wank furiously

  14. Is this normal?

Easter Eggs

Liquid Head:

  1. Dark Room

  2. Turn on light switch

  3. Look for light switch

  4. Find light switch

  5. I see

  6. Touch wall

  7. Touch other wall

  8. Blank annotation (on right hand side).

Sadness and Badness:

  1. Dark Room

  2. Turn on light switch

  3. Look for light switch

  4. Find light switch

  5. I see

  6. Touch wall

  7. Touch other wall

  8. Apologize

  9. Smell room

  10. Go west

  11. Go east

  12. Go Southampton!

  13. Blank annotation in lower right corner.

Good Endings:

Error:

  1. Dark Room

  2. Turn on light switch

  3. Look for light switch

  4. Find light switch

  5. I see

  6. Touch wall

  7. Touch other wall

  8. Apologize

  9. Smell room

  10. Kill self

  11. Lean on wall and weep

  12. Start over

  13. Blank annotation (middle of right side).

Alright then ("good" in the sense of "hilarious"):

  1. Dark Room

  2. Turn on light switch

  3. Look for light switch

  4. Find light switch

  5. I see->Touch wall

  6. Touch other wall

  7. Apologize

  8. Smell room

  9. "That doesn't make sense!"

  10. Think outside box

  11. Run into wall

  12. Lean against the wall

  13. Bleed to death

  14. Start over

  15. Pass time

  16. Locate the good ending

  17. Torture

  18. Punch man

  19. Punch man!!

  20. Punch man!!!!

100% Good Ending:

This requires you to download the video "Turn Around Redux", and either reverse the entire video or just the soundtrack. How you reverse it depends on your system, you can use a free editor like Audacity or you might have a program that will do it already on your computer. Listen to it and you'll receive a clue, although the clue actually has an error, and you'll need to capitalize the last letter.
How to get to Turn Around Redux:

  1. Dark Room

  2. Turn on light switch

  3. Look for light switch

  4. Find light switch

  5. I see

  6. Touch wall

  7. Touch other wall

  8. Apologize

  9. Smell room

  10. "That doesn't make sense!"

  11. Think outside box

  12. Run into wall

  13. Lean against the wall

  14. Bleed to death

  15. Start over

  16. Pass time

  17. Dig

  18. Treasure!

  19. Turn around.

Direct link to Turn Around Redux:

Direct link to the ending (use only in case of insane need-to-know-itis:

Don't forget to watch the credits afterwards!

Thanks, joye, for the walkthrough!

19 Comments

The Dark Room Walkthrough (Endings and Easter Eggs)

  • NB 1: Some endings have more than one possible path. One way is given for each. Also these are not "endings" in the sense of deaths, but in the sense of dead ends or hidden easter eggs.

  • NB 2: You actually do need to die to get places in this game. The "start over" buttons usually do NOT send you back to the first video, so make sure you click them!

Dead Ends:

Failure 1 Smiley Face:

  1. Dark Room

  2. Go north

  3. Chuck pockets

  4. Weep

  5. Exit

  6. Unplug Computer

No:

  1. Dark Room

  2. Go north

  3. Check pockets

  4. Czech pockets

  5. "Will you ever be kind to me?"

Not in Kansas Anymore:

  1. Dark Room

  2. Turn on light switch

  3. Look for light switch

  4. Find light switch

  5. I see

  6. Touch wall

  7. Touch other wall

  8. Apologize

  9. Smell room

  10. "That doesn't make sense!"

  11. Think outside box

  12. Think outside room

  13. Click heels together 3x

9999:

  1. Dark Room

  2. Turn on light switch

  3. Look for light switch

  4. Find light switch

  5. I see

  6. Touch wall

  7. Touch other wall

  8. Apologize

  9. Smell room

  10. "That doesn't make sense!"

  11. Think outside box

  12. Think outside room

  13. Wank furiously

  14. Is this normal?

Easter Eggs

Liquid Head:

  1. Dark Room

  2. Turn on light switch

  3. Look for light switch

  4. Find light switch

  5. I see

  6. Touch wall

  7. Touch other wall

  8. Blank annotation (on right hand side).

Sadness and Badness:

  1. Dark Room

  2. Turn on light switch

  3. Look for light switch

  4. Find light switch

  5. I see

  6. Touch wall

  7. Touch other wall

  8. Apologize

  9. Smell room

  10. Go west

  11. Go east

  12. Go Southampton!

  13. Blank annotation in lower right corner.

Good Endings:

Error:

  1. Dark Room

  2. Turn on light switch

  3. Look for light switch

  4. Find light switch

  5. I see

  6. Touch wall

  7. Touch other wall

  8. Apologize

  9. Smell room

  10. Kill self

  11. Lean on wall and weep

  12. Start over

  13. Blank annotation (middle of right side).

Alright then ("good" in the sense of "hilarious"):

  1. Dark Room

  2. Turn on light switch

  3. Look for light switch

  4. Find light switch

  5. I see->Touch wall

  6. Touch other wall

  7. Apologize

  8. Smell room

  9. "That doesn't make sense!"

  10. Think outside box

  11. Run into wall

  12. Lean against the wall

  13. Bleed to death

  14. Start over

  15. Pass time

  16. Locate the good ending

  17. Torture

  18. Punch man

  19. Punch man!!

  20. Punch man!!!!

100% Good Ending:

This requires you to download the video "Turn Around Redux", and either reverse the entire video or just the soundtrack. How you reverse it depends on your system, you can use a free editor like Audacity or you might have a program that will do it already on your computer. Listen to it and you'll receive a clue, although the clue actually has an error, and you'll need to capitalize the last letter.
How to get to Turn Around Redux:

  1. Dark Room

  2. Turn on light switch

  3. Look for light switch

  4. Find light switch

  5. I see

  6. Touch wall

  7. Touch other wall

  8. Apologize

  9. Smell room

  10. "That doesn't make sense!"

  11. Think outside box

  12. Run into wall

  13. Lean against the wall

  14. Bleed to death

  15. Start over

  16. Pass time

  17. Dig

  18. Treasure!

  19. Turn around.

Direct link to Turn Around Redux:

Direct link to the ending (use only in case of insane need-to-know-itis:

Don't forget to watch the credits afterwards!

Thanks, joye, for the walkthrough!

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The walkthrough was really necessary, too much options for me. But.. I watched all the endings! Fantastic "game", really, really funny!!

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joye
You said,

the "100% Best" ending does require downloading a certain video and performing some basic editing on it, something that is possible to do with freeware you may already have.

I've never done any video editing in my life. Should I entrust myself to a Google search, or do you guys have any recommendations?

[Give Audacity a try. It's open source, cross-platform, and free. -Jay]

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I didn't know Audacity did video editing! I thought it only did audio editing.

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I love this so much XD

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The idea alone deserves 5 mushrooms. The guy's good, he does it well.

For someone who grew up on Ian Livingstone - Steve Jackson books, it gets boring after a couple of minutes, and the fact that you seemingly can get into loops from which there seems to be no good way out should be dealt with - but this one's still a great idea.

bio

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tigrita Author Profile Page March 1, 2012 7:12 PM

Hilarious! And thanks for the walkthrough; I blew past some vital without realizing it. A hint for the impatient people like me:

Watch the entirety of the videos!

Oh, and another option for outside software:

Command + left arrow key in Quicktime lets you watch a video backwards (just make sure the file's compatible). It comes with all Macs, but I don't know about PCs. I think there's a free version for download on Apple's site

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I can't believe I spent a good hour playing through all of the options in this game. I was sure I quit after the first three failures, but that might have been five playbacks ago...

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This is genius.

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It did take me a while to realize that I haven't had a good "choose your own adventure"-style romp for a while. I even wrote a basic one myself way back in college (early '90s) for an HTML class I was taking.

Huzzah!

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Meterman70 Author Profile Page March 2, 2012 12:31 PM

Now I can understand how the color-blind feel about color-based puzzles in escape games.

I'm deaf, so playing this one is out of the question.

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Mottsnave Author Profile Page March 3, 2012 2:42 PM

If you like this type of thing, Neil Ciciriega did a nice Choose-your-own-adventure on Youtube called The Haircut.

It's not as tricky as the Dark Room from a game standpoint, since all the choices are very clear cut, but it has the bonus of being in the form of a very catchy song with fun cartoon illustrations.

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It was kind of funny in the beginning, but the game itself isn't much fun so I lost interest quickly. Worth checking out, though! :)

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FiendishLlama Author Profile Page April 13, 2012 2:02 AM

There's a second part out. Worth mentioning.

[We mentioned it in our latest Link Dump Friday, and we'll be updating the walkthrough soon, too. -Jay]

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Somniloquence Author Profile Page April 14, 2012 10:47 PM

Has someone solved the hidden message in the updated, second part? I've got a really good start on it, but some hints to some specifics would be nice...

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Livingpyramid Author Profile Page April 17, 2012 7:22 PM

The riddle at the end of Part 2 is really frustrating me... Any one got any ideas? :(

I've currently translated:
There's ten pregnant colon slash slash wild wit periods, yet order under those umber(?) beanstalks edgar stop! Cup of milk and water at the chinese house?

The translation:

That part's to be expected though. Any ideas for the part after that? Because I'm clueless.

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@Meterman70 Don't feel too bad. I wish I had not attempted to play. While it may be funny for some, it took about two minutes for the loud voice yelling at me to give me a migraine. :(

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catterfly Author Profile Page August 14, 2012 8:32 AM

This walkthrough is out of date! There is now.... *sighs* A second Dark Room. There is only one person to have supposedly reach the end (and it is not me).

[That's why we have a post (and walkthrough) for the second Dark Room -Jay]

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