Proving once again that you cheeky monkeys are gluttons for punishment, Orton and the Princess arises like a magnificent phoenix from the ashes of a recent Link Dump Friday when reception to this deceptively sweet looking little platformer swelled. Control with the [arrow] keys and jump with the [X] key. Your mission; to get stubby little Orton to his pink princess at the end of each level. Standing in your way? To name a few things, spikes, platforms, and... the help text? Hmmmm.
Orton and the Princess is one of those sneaky little games that lures you in with a few easy levels and lets you think "Oh, I can do that." The game really demands some fairly precise jumps, and timing everything right can lead to a fair amount of hair pulling... which, of course, is when the help text begins berating you. Because that helps. "You're not supposed to drink while playing this game, you know," it chides, after your fifth nosedive onto some spikes. You can retry over and over, but the game doesn't offer any checkpoints within the levels, so putting a foot wrong means you have to inch your way back to where you were. Combine this with how merely being close enough to exhale on spikes will get you killed, and you have a formula to come up with some really intriguing new profanity. Especially once you start encountering traps and false princesses, to name a few fun new things...
So why keep playing? Because in spite of how frequently you die, the game somehow manages to keep being fun. Maybe it's the bouncy, irrepressibly cheerful soundtrack. Maybe it's the tight level design that constantly pushes your skill to the limit. Or maybe it's the hope that the end level will let you hold down the mocking narrator and cheerfully pound the snot out of them. Orton and the Princess has its audience among gamers who like simple presentations and challenging gameplay. It's fun and frustrating in all the right ways, and really is one of those things that hurts so good.
[Please note that this game behaves differently in various browsers. If you're using Firefox, you may have trouble jumping high enough in some levels. Please try another browser if you have problems.]