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You Have to Burn the Rope


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Rating: 4.7/5 (615 votes)
Comments (130) | Views (14,523)

SonicLoverYHTBTRMy name? That's not important. Just call me "the avatar". Allow me to share the story of my venture through a deep tunnel with interesting purple wallpaper, and my battle with the fierce boss at the end.

This was no ordinary boss, oh no. This was the Grinning Colossus. And he was impossible to defeat with my regular arsenal of axes. I had to employ a creative means of attack in order to take him out. You'll never guess what it was. My feats of heroism were immortalized in a flash game by Mazapán, called You Have to Burn the Rope. Move [left] and [right] with the corresponding arrow keys, jump with [up] or [space], and throw axes with [down] or any other key.

Though it only received a passing mention in a previous Link Dump Friday, YHTBTR has earned quite a fanbase. It boasts a game manual, four walkthroughs (including one YouTube walkthrough and one in German), a speedrun posted on YouTube, a Spanish Wikipedia page, a text-adventure version, a novelization, and a fan-comic. (Links to all of these are provided at the bottom of the game's web page.) There's even a reference to it in The irRegular Game of Life.

Here are some genuine comments from the JIG community about the masterpiece of gaming that is YHTBTR:

"You have to burn a rope" [sic] is seriously hard, especially the final boss. But I love how the ending credits show screenshots of the most exciting moments. Remembering what incredible feats I had to do during the course of the game made me all teary-eyed... -baba44713

[YHTBTR is] the most amazing, graphically intense game ever produced with the most intriguing story ever made. -ThemePark

ZOMG. How could you not give YHTBTR a full review? It has all the requirements of a great game--drama, comedy, cuteness, fire, a rope—I am taking my blog reading business ELSEWHERE! -joye

YHTBTR is the best game ever, no holds barred. -symar

The ending of YHTBTR is the best I've seen in a game since Portal[.] -mysteriousracoon

After some hours of intense brain concentration, I finally beat YHTBTR. Amazingly fun, escpecially [sic] the credits song. I think I'll just press refresh and start again! -Donut

YHTBTR is the best game ever! I love it! -AF

See what all the hype is all about:

Play YHTBTR

130 Comments

I was just thinking about the theme song of this game the other day. I remember the first time this was featured--I think I played it a couple times to listen to the song again.

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Im still trying to complete this game! i just dont get it..its so hard =[

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I have been trying to complete this game for ages! and still cant..people this is the hardest game EVER!

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Hiya Jay/JIG. I have been a longtime follower of your site, trying to work out how to sign up. Perhaps a "Sign Up" link next to "Login" would be handy to other people like me. But, to the point. I absolutely LOVE this game! It was one of the best gaming experiences I have ever had. Such a challenging yet rewarding puzzle to figure out, but the ending made it all worth it. Thank you SonicLover for providing a review to this game. I may consider, after a time, submitting a walkthrough.

~~Sledgeham~~

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This is some silly in-joke, isn't it.

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Sorry for the double post, but I have formulated a walkthrough:

WALKTHROUGH!
1.

Walk to the right for 5 seconds.

2.

Stop.

3.

Read the instructions below you.

4.

Walk right for 2 seconds.

5.

Stop.

6.

Jump onto the ledge to your right.

7.

Read the instructions below you.

8.

Walk right for one second.

9.

Drop down from the ledge, heading right.

10.

Walk right for 2 seconds.

11.

Read the instructions below you.

12.

Drop down from the ledge, heading right.

13.

Read the message below you.

14.

Walk right for one second.

15.

Drop down from the ledge, heading right.

16.

Walk right for 3 seconds.

17.

Stop.

18.

Jump onto the ledge above you to the left.

19.

Jump onto the ledge above you to the right.

20.

Jump onto the ledge above you to the left.

21.

Jump onto the ledge above you to the right.

22.

Drop down onto the ledge below, heading right.

23.

Jump onto the ledge to the right.

24.

Jump onto the ledge to the right.

25.

Jump onto the ledge to the right.

26.

Jump onto the chandelier.

FINITO!

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Thanks for that Sledgeham, I was stuck as to where to go after jumping up to the second ledge.

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Yes, please keep on repeating the joke for the 4 million-th time. :/

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FINALLY! I was only seconds away from completely losing all respect for this site because this game was only featured in a Link Dump. Although the review is a little short, I guess it's better than nothing.

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I loved this game when I played it back in that Link Dump Friday. However, the game's site seems to have been hacked or something, as it summons a non-stopping stream of pop-ups, in such a way that it is impossible to close the page or try do do anything else. I had to shut down my browser (which is IE, by the way) using the Task Manager.
I'm not going to the game's site until there's a confirmation that this has been fixed...

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Anonymous January 5, 2009 10:25 AM

Sorry, I read the walkthrough but I'm still having a little trouble after the 3rd ledge, what exactly do I have to do?

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repairmanman January 5, 2009 10:32 AM

i have heard that you can kill the grinning collosus to his knees with axes. confirmation?

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This game is way too intense for me. I just give up

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HollowDisclosure January 5, 2009 10:43 AM

This game is incredibly overrated. If it had more levels, it would be enjoyable. But one short, easy level isn't worth the great reputation it's receiving.
The song at the end is a different story. It almost (almost...) made playing the game worth it.

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@repairmanman:

It used to be a video about that but I just can't find it.

It seems to take you a long time to do so. Just keep throwing them. The "health bar" will go down but you will still need to Burn the rope to really kill him ( and that's not surprising)

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I think we're missing something here. Apparently there are more levels than the link leads us to. I went to their website too and it only had the link level.

Can anyone help?

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Of course you can't have more levels...That would require additional ropes. Then they would have to change the title of the game to "You have to burn the ropeS". Wouldn't that just sound silly?

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Apparently we've all been duped. There is only one level.

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Could someone help me? When I try to pick up the fire the eagle keeps coming to take it away. How do I get rid of the eagle? Is it something to do with the satsuma from level 7? Thanks.

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Now you're a hero....you beat the whole gaaaame......
ok people...the song at the end is the only real reason to play it..... and its so worth it.... maybe you will hit refresh and start again

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repairmanman January 5, 2009 12:10 PM

oh my gosh the satSUMA i hate the SATSuma but yes the eagle can only be killed if you take the heart of the satsuma which can only be gotten if you get the melon baller of truth.
but that you can only get on level one in a secret chasm by the 20 foot drop. but even then you need to grab hold of the eagle and use the satsuma heart as a suppository on the eagle then you can burn the rope

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fuzzyface January 5, 2009 12:11 PM

I need a walkthrough plz.

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@ guy_zap:

When the eagle comes to take the torch, quickly throw the fruit up. The eagle will grab it and fly away, apparently forgetting about the fire. But don't let your guard down yet, as there's a hidden sprinkler system that activates if you step on the blue tiles.

By the way, has anybody found the secret golden idol in level 5, "There's Still Rope"? I've looked everywhere, and still can't find it...

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Markonite2 January 5, 2009 12:33 PM

I love this freaking game! It seems like the trick to amazing games is straight forward game play followed by singing!

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I think it's very cute. But the walkthrough forgot

right click to see tip #4

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This game reminds me of ZomboCom, which was posted back in 2006. Possibly the best game ever reviewed at JIG! Here's the link:
https://jayisgames.com/archives/2006/04/zombocom.php

After you've played the game, make sure to check out the comments!

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Okay... what am I missing? I beat the game twice in less than a minute. It was incredibly easy and not very fun. Is there supposed to be some sort of irony to all this? Someone, please explain to me why this is supposed to be such a great game!

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Captain Obvious January 5, 2009 1:49 PM

The spoon-fed gameplay, the catchy song at the end, the almost gimmicky gameplay...
Suho1004 was right about the in-jokery, this is clearly a
*warning, this may ruin the game for you*

Portal parody

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Hahahahaha I got quoted. XD

I am glad that JIG has finally manned up and given this tour-de-force the recognition it deserves. I would have appreciated an apology and some pictures of the staff groveling, however.

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missparaguay1991 January 5, 2009 2:03 PM

Oh man, I love the tune! I wish all the games would give you such as good reward!

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Anonymous January 5, 2009 2:06 PM

Why can't I cut the rope with my axes?
Why must the rope be burnt?

Also, the best way to try to attack the colossus without getting hit is to throw the axes up around the rope. They fall and hit it but it's offscreen and can't retaliate.

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fuzzyface January 5, 2009 2:20 PM

JigGuest, because it is you-have-to-burn-the-rope, not you-have-to-cut-the-rope, or you-have-to-grind-the-colossus-with-axes-from-above-where-it-cannot-retailiate

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When this game passed around our offices, the best comment was something like: "This game has the highest reward/effort ratio I've ever seen".

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fuzzyface January 5, 2009 2:38 PM

I think "quest for crown" fits nicely next to YHTBTR. "Featured" already in Link Dump: https://jayisgames.com/archives/2007/03/link_dump_friday_8.php

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I love this game. I think I've played it about 6 times just because it makes me laugh.

And oh yeah...I managed to get the eagle to leave with some of the Golden Grapes of Thor.

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ganondorf champion not logged January 5, 2009 4:18 PM

I got to level 15! That mean I got past the eagle!

There is no rope on this level but now there is the 5th boss... the smiling titan. You also now have health making it extremely hard...

Does anyone remeber the exact spelling and such of my username? Check a few of the nitrome games... and gateway 2 too.

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I'm still stuck on level 3, "the rope society". I know I'm suppose to hang the ropemen with the fire-proof ropes that are hanging from the Gargoyles so I can sneak past and meet the Giant Ropeman, but how?

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Thanks for the walkthrough, couldn't have done it without it! =)

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strayerrrr January 5, 2009 5:14 PM

.....wow. amusing. loved the song. but i think i just got dumber.

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Oh wow....I love level 3 "the rope society", love the lil economic simulation, justy make sure not to get sacrificed

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I think game makes a strong statement.

Seriously, this is awesome! Game of the week for me. :)

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Cheddarius January 5, 2009 8:38 PM

What the heck?! This game is way too hard. I got the +7 Axes Of Colossus Death, but they don't seem to do anything. I leveled for FIVE DAYS trying to get Finishing Blow up to a high enough level to kill the Grinning Colossus. Then I couldn't even get to the boss, my finger kept missing the right arrow key. Finally I found the Torch Of Blazing Justice, and some guy was like "burn the rope" and I was like "haha noob you suck". I stood above the Colossus' head to try to use my Patriot Missiles Of Elven Might on him, on this wierd lamp thing. I went to get a sandwich and when I came back he was dead, obviously a bug. D:< -50/5

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Hey, while I was stuck on level 3, wandering around, I found a secret door. Behind there was another secret door, disguised as The Frowning Colossus. Behind that door was a lightning gun, and a piece of paper on how to beat this whole level. Now I'm stuck on Level 6: 'Deck the ropes.' I can't get out of the Living Room, the second section of the level. I can also barely see, as I'm covered in soot.

(I'm going to make/contribute to a/the YHTBTR wiki on Wikia.

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Oh oooh (sic)

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Beautiful game. The ending was worth the hours of sweat and frustration to get through. I never thought I'd make it, but I got there. Not many games move me to fits of laughter, but getting to the end of this and listening to the song did it. Nice work...big ups to the designers :)

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Reece, you need to

Get the hat, suit, and bag of presents. Then burn the rope.

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waycooler January 6, 2009 1:03 AM

I remember playing this back when it was featured in LDF. I beat it like 10 times, just to listen to the song over and over again... so catchy!

I see now they've added a few new levels. I managed to get to... level 19? yeah. lvl 19. I need help.

"What's with all the rope?" is so hard! I mean, the rope is like 50 feet long! and like 10 feet wide! it covers like 15 screens, and that's only cause it trails off into the distance. of course, my lvl 15 throwing axes barely make a mark, and my lvl 18 torch seems to have no effect. There's just too much to burn through it all with the measly little lvl 18 torch. I think I might need to get the flamethrower of doom, but i've even searched the hidden room within the hidden room within the rope, and it's not there.

Help please!

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Dreamweaver January 6, 2009 2:09 AM

This game was sooooooo hard!!! It took me HOURS to finally complete it! First, the labyrinth got me throughly confused and lost as I was constanly ending up running the same places, and I had to finally give in and consult a walkthrough. I just had the hardest time figuring out how to nagivate the huge multitude of ledges and then even getting the torch was a feat in inself! Oh, and I kept missing those little ledges along the top so I had to start all over again! But then sudden inspiration struck at the last moment when I was about to give in and finally I realized that I had to:

BURN THE ROPE!

WOW!!! Awesome game though! Super intense! A big mind challenge and ultra awesome graphics! The best I've seen and soo realistic! And the music totally rocks! Very professional! Superb ending with ultra cool flashbacks!!! If you haven't played this yet you so gotta play!! The game is the best ever!!! Thanks sooooooooooo much to Mazapan!!! Cheers!

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I've formulated an additional complete walkthough for this game to provide help for those in need.

  1. You have to burn the rope

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I had fun for about 1% of the twenty seconds it took to complete.

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LOL This game is sooo worth it for TEH ENDING SONG!!!

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Donut,

Zombocom is one of the best sites on the internet. I remember it from years ago.

Good post

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The gamer in me wants to believe there's a secret passage somewhere... *O*

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i liked the song after credits

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finished it on first play. I'm a winner!

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Silent George January 6, 2009 2:08 PM

Irony died after 9/11, then it rose again and made this game. Now it is eating its own tail, which will cause it to die again. But I still enjoy it.

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repairmanman January 6, 2009 2:54 PM

does not anyone remember the ecstatic gigantor from secret level g. he is the hardest boss

you have to kill hix with the rope. that means destroying the wrecking ball with your lazer

gotten at secret level d behind the melancholy dwarf secret door

cut the rope and make sure he dont eat it

then is secret level h which proves that the cake is

NOT A LIE

in fact it is lime flavored

and you finnaly rescue your girlfriend

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Anonymous January 6, 2009 4:16 PM

This was the first time I was able to complete a game like this without a walkthrough! Still, I had trouble on level 10 you had to levitate the salami behind the third portal.

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Anonymous January 6, 2009 5:48 PM

so HARRRRRDDDD! YAGH
after i finally got to level 99, the stupid final boss just OWNED ME, i couldnt land a blow!

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QUOTE:
This game is incredibly overrated. If it had more levels, it would be enjoyable. But one short, easy level isn't worth the great reputation it's receiving.
The song at the end is a different story. It almost (almost...) made playing the game worth it.

Couldn't agree more.

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I dont get it. I beat it in 30 seconds. :/

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Th.. Th.. Thirty seconds? Dude, you should join one of the tournaments in YHTBTR, you can win serious cash if you destroy the game so easily. Though the competition is tough, guys play the game 10 hours a day to polish their skills.

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I love this game!! Great gameplay and graphics, although I had a bit of trouble (read two and a half hours) with the final boss.

The game designer is so lucky to have found the song that plays during the closing credits. It's almost like it was written for the game.

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When I burn the rope, the kitchen door opened. I got the fruit, but what now?

(Also, go to the 'You Have to Burn the Rope Wiki on Wikia.

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sheepgomeep January 7, 2009 6:48 PM

Walkthrough for level 6 please?

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fuzzyface January 8, 2009 12:51 AM

oh my some of the comments, the unintelligence in the internet is without limits. Guess one develops a sense for a well done irony only after a cerain age :-/

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Can somebody tell me if these additional levels even do exist, and if so, where to find them?

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Yarrr,

The clues that lead to the additional levels can be found in the song that plays during the credits. Hope this helps.

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JigGuest, because it is you-have-to-burn-the-rope, not you-have-to-cut-the-rope, or you-have-to-grind-the-colossus-with-axes-from-above-where-it-cannot-retailiate

Cannot... stop... laughing...

YHTGTCWAFAWICR is sure to be the hit of 2009!

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Dreamweaver January 9, 2009 2:34 AM

I found the secret level entrance by:

obtaining the Golden Phoenix of Solitude in the Room of Dilusion. You have to stack the blue bricks on top of one another in the shape of the Hexagon of Zalth, then access the hatch on the right by obtaining the Diamond of Sky from the Sleeping Colossus and then in the room, use the secret code UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT Shift Enter and then quickly running across the bridge that appears before it drops you into the Burning Pit of Depair. If that happens u'll have to start over. On the other side of the bridge, hit the 4th from the top from the 3rd from the left lever which opens up the secret passageway to the left. Then you run through this dodging the Lasers of Destruction as fast as you can, while picking up the Orb of Spirit, which gives you the skill of Inferno Axe, level 12. But to activate it you'll have to defeat the Jumping Colossus at the end of the tunnel. You'll have to combine Pearl (level 15), Sapphire (level 12), and Ruby (level 18) skills together within the same turn to make MultiForce strike. Then aim for the Tetragon on the Jumping Colossus. If you hit this right u'll defeat him and activate the Orb skill. Next, go to the room behind by activating the orb skill when u get to the portal. Finally Grab the Elven Spirit Armor and go inside to get the Phoenix. Another portal will open and take you back to the main room, then you can use the Phoenix by pressing Shift + Z + T + Q + M and the way to the secret room will open. In here you can find the Pool of Vision and the Golden Torch of Devastation (level 20). Finally you can make your way to the Deadly Colossus main boss at the end of the level with the Torch. Hope this helps! Oh and if you still need help....
Don't forget that to kill the Deadly Colossus you have to be sure to

BURN THE ROPE!

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wait...i'm confused...there's no link to more levels...

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Okay... am I correct in saying that you are just making up stuff to mess with the rest of us? I mean, I could just say:

I got to level 73 by using the magic rope of time, but now I'm stuck in the mini-colossus pit and can't figure out how to get out! I think it has something to do with the blue coin of confusion (level 17) I just found, but I'm not sure what. Can someone post a walkthrough?

I just made all of that up. Just now. And it seems pretty close to what you guys are saying. I've beaten the game four times... right-clicking, looking for fake walls, trying to kill the colossus with my axes, and eventually just giving up and picking up the torch to burn the rope so that I can look for clues in the end credits. If I keep this up, I'm going to go insane. So please, PLEASE either stop the joke now (if this really is a joke), or tell us how to get to the extra levels (if there really are any, which I doubt).

[Edit: You have to burn the rope. And from the ending song: "We didn't want to make a longer ga-ame. This is it, I swear it's true." I hope that puts your mind at ease. -Jay]

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I don't get the joke and I don't get the game.
I DID burn the rope. Now what?
Can someone explain the joke?

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I feel so dumb... I don't know if I'm being tricked into believing that there are more levels or if I'm just not smart enough to find them. Please, just say if there are, and if yes, how to find them (or a hint or something).

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I have unlocked Secret Level Y!
How to get there:

On level 158, move left, and jump over the ledges. However, before going into the shaft where you have to face the Surprised Colossus, throw your axes at the wall at the left. It will collapse. From there, head left. You'll have to do a rematch with Miniature Colossus. Burn the (super thick) rope (it must be level 34 by then) and then MC will (finally) explode,making a hole in the ceiling and propelling the platform you're standing on to the main surface (at a very fast speed, causing it to burn), surprising the (aptly named) Surprised Colossus, going through the ceiling, burning the rope and crushing the SC while making another hole in the ceiling, propelling you into space, and thus, Secret Level Y, where you have to lure a quite eccentric Martian Colossus under the rope, and then burning it.

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Everybody seems to have found the other levels but me! Where is the entrance to level 2? I tried to beat the boss by throwing axes, but I don't want to break my arrow key.

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Somebody said to look in the credits for more levels. But i'm not finding anything.
So i'm repeating my question: Do those levels exist, and if so, where to find them?

Be serious.

[Edit: No, they don't exist. -Jay]

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NOTE: please delete my previous comment.

How to get the additional levels:

1. Go to a game builder-thingy.
2. Build levels that we are describing

No really, they're fake. We just make them up for fun.

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Twilitlord January 10, 2009 4:49 PM

@ Donut: To get the Secret Golden Idol, you have to enter the keys of Sacred noobness in the keyholes of Ultimate Level 100 Warriors, for there must be a balance in the gaming universe (hence the name of the door, the Door of Equality) . Then you go back to level 3, "The Rope Society" and ask Robert, your business partner, for his mini-rope. Go back to the Door of Equality and put his rope in the Seal of Sadness and fight the Frowning Colossus, and your reward is the Secret Golden Idol. It took me 2 hours with my level 14 axes and the spell Golden Hydra of Ultimate Palpitation Summon 2, but I got a torch to Burn his 249 ropes. Be careful, the torch only lasts 12 minutes.

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repairmanman January 10, 2009 5:03 PM

hello to all y'alls who are saying "where are the secret levels", the answer is in your imagination. yhis is what we like to call having fun,please think things through before you write them

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BuenoCabra January 11, 2009 1:20 AM

For those of you who are stuck on the Colossus, you have to

burn the rope.

Hope that helps.

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waycooler January 11, 2009 8:07 AM

I walked away from the game for a few days, and I'm still stuck. Anybody want to help with level 19? Please? I'm dying here!

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Wait a minute! This game was already posted!

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don't be mean, I got confused by you lot!

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Oh, we just HAVE to get someone who can make more levels for this game.

I hope it isn't spammy to think up my fictional walkthrough to get to fictional level 2 and how to beat it.

Walkthrough:

On level 1, don't go up the stairs. Go past the grinning colossus, to the other set of stairs. Throw axes, axes and more axes against the wall. You'll notice a crack in the wall. When the crack stops growing, go to the grinning colossus and lure him to the wall. When he shoots his orbs, quickly jump up the stair. The wall will explode, knocking the grinning colossus unconscious. Go through the tunnel that appeared. You'll notice a discolored tile in the tunnel. You cannot dodge it. It'll place the curse of life on you, which gives you health, which is a bad thing since you're not invisible anymore. When you've gone through the tunnel, you land in an seemingly empty room. When you've walked out of the tunnel, the door will slam shut behind you (creepy!) and three miniature colossuses will appear. Slay them with your axes and watch out, since they will charge you. When they fall, a portion of the wall disappears. You'll walk through a small tunnel. In the middle, another discolored tile lies. It will remove the curse of life. Then, you'll walk into a room which looks very much like the one where the grinning colossus was. The door will slam shut behind you again, and a big thing will appear.

BOSS: Laughing colossus!

This colossus is as big as the grinning colossus, only with a bigger mouth. It will attack you with the eye orb attack from the grinning colossus and cackling laughter, which is a wave of sound which knocks you back and as well goes through walls. Jump up the stairs to the rope. Notice that you won't get a torch this time. And then, you see that the rope is actually a chain with the chandelier attached to it. Jump down to the laughing colossus. When he opens his mouth to charge Cackling Laughter, jump in. He'll spit you out, and you have gained a melee weapon as opposed to your axes: the saw blade! Head up to the chain and start sawing through the chain. You will have to stop sawing a couple of times because of the laughing colossus' attacks. When you're through the chain, the chandelier will fall and kill the laughing colossus. You will gain two things: an ability called Loud Lough, which knocks back enemies, and a void orb. Use the void orb and it will yank you through to void to level 3!

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I'm having some trouble with level 1.

I made it through the tunnel.

Then I grabbed the fire off the wall.

I jumped up above him (the Grinning Colossus).

What's next?

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debaser80:

You have to burn the rope.

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On level 21.73, Why cant i get past the Great Giggling Gum Drop?? I tried using the great egg, but i still cant find the Ancient Hidden Rope of the 17 Kings.Do i have to use

The Eternal Flame?

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Ok, seriously, I beat this in... about 30 seconds... It's ridiculously easy.

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Alas, the game goes on! When I played the game a second time, I looked for secrets and such and I found

this wall that you could just jump through and there was a secret tunnel! I followed the tunnel and I came across the Fountain of Giggling Giddyness, but it was being blocked by the Frowning Gigantimous. He is nearly identical to the Grinning Colossus except it is bright purple and it's frowning instead of grinning. Plus, your axes actually DO hurt this one, but you must watch out for it's minions that it spits out of its mouth. They are easily taken out, but they are exceptionally fast and they jump out of the way of the axes you throw. So you have to be exceptionally fast with reflexes to kill these, then you have to kill the Frowning Gigantimous as well as the minions. It takes some work, but eventually you kill it. Then, you reach the Fountain, and after you take it, a portal appears and you are magically transported to the amazing second level!

Ok, really I'm joking but I thought it'd be funny. Wasn't it genius?

[Edit by Kayleigh]

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omg i find it hilarious everyone is making up stuff to confuse people. i cracked up on the made up ones and then someone complainted about not getting to the second level or something stupid like that

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You can find the ending song on mp3 format on this webpage:

http://jeuxvideo.fluctuat.net/blog/30103-you-have-to-burn-the-rope.html

(at the bottom of the text where it says "le générique en Mp3")

Still, it's better to redo and redo the game again :)

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This is creativity in its pure form.

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I loved the song. The game was okay, but the song is almost worth it. And people who are stuck on level one....


YOU HAVE TO BURN THE ROPE!!!! THE GAME"S TITLE SAYS ALL!!

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I'm still confused... :(

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I love this game and all it stands for :) I'm of big fan of irony.

Oh and for those of you wondering about the secret levels,

There are no secret levels. The only level is the one where you burn the rope. That's the joke

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old woman February 2, 2009 3:59 PM

Help please. Where do you find the battery for the torch? I've searched the 3rd floor as suggested.
Help with melon

the melon combines with the golden axe from the upper left room

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Sheer_Cold February 7, 2009 9:32 PM

I went straight to Colossus Drone Sigma on level 43 without saving and then

I got killed about 5 times during Ultima Decimation Burst, when I figured out that the crack on the 24th block in the 3rd tunnel you go through could be destroyed when I leveled up my strength to 65. So I had to grind ALLLL the way to that level, and when I went back through the cracked block, I remembered I needed to get the Reflector power up, which was after the self-sealing door, so I had to reset the level AGAIN and after I did all that, I got the Shield Level 5, which blocks all Burst attacks. Just a heads up for anyone else. :P

[Edit: Spoiler tags added. -Pam]

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I've got the blue key, now what?

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TaladorPhoenix February 21, 2009 4:16 PM

Wow! what a tough game! it took me forever!

I had no idea what to do after I jumped up the first step!

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ok guys, the little nerd jokes are getting really dumb. the song is awesome though.

"maybe you'll press refresh and start again"

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This game is too easy! I beat it 10 times now!

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Then I think you're missing the point.

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meatwad111 March 6, 2009 4:06 PM

doesn't the end song remind anyone of

the end of portal?

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BlackWolfe Coyoten March 9, 2009 5:37 AM

Anybody find the hidden fourth rule? It was, IMO, almost as funny as the closing theme.

Right-click to get the custom menu: "4. Also, you can't really die"

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omg... so... hard...

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I'm on level 23 with the laughing colossus and when I try to use the flaming axe (obtained from level 17) it goes right through it without doing damage! Is this a glitch?
Ok.... just kidding.... there's only ONE level in the game and people who post fake levels just have a MEAN sense of humor.

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Also, I heard a rumor that if you kill the boss with axes (without using cheats or hacks) theres a secret bonus level but i think it's like... impossible

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The first 17 levels were alright for me, the only hard part where you had to rebound off the missile to reach the fire, but then I hit level 18, OMG! First, I had to lend my +7 titanium axe to Chris (the poor potter from level 3) so he could crack the seal to the door of informity, so I didn't really have a good weapon. So I thought I'd try the level the old fashion way, you know, with good old fire and the rope. Then I realised there were 3 ropes. So I burned the first rope, and nothing happened I was like "What??" Burned the second, that did nothing, so I realised that burning ropes wasn't the key. I hunted around a bit and found the trapdoor under the greedy bartender from cambridge (the one that sells the potion of liquification) and I found a dirty syringe with aids in it. This was perfect I thought. I sold the syringe to the bartender and bought the liquifcation potion, which I then offered him but I said it was whiskey. He was liquified and I found a key in his liquified remains. I used this key to access the cave of monotony and I aquired the beige coloured fleece. I then used this to collect up the bartender remains into a ball which I then rolled next the the boss. I then used the fire to make the fleece plit making a puddle which the boss then ran into. as he was slipping over I siezed the chance and pulled the crystal of keeping from his necklace, thus turning him into a spirit, which I then sold to the potter for my axe and a glass of water.
Man, these levels are over complicated sometimes.

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This one follows my walkthrough from level 2.

Level 3

The void orb will suck you into a withered plain with a spinning void in the background. Walk forward, and you will meet with a small black man. The man reveals that he is called Dave, and also has ventured here but was too terrified to continue. He regains his confidence with you at his side, and will join you. He has 500 hit points. Walk further and you will see a gap with some platforms over it. Ah, the good ol' platformin'. After you've crossed it, you will walk across a flat part. The difference with it is that you sometimes see lush patches of grass with flowers and a blue sky behind it. If they have shading, just walk over them. If they don't, jump over. They are just made of void matter and will dissipate, making you fall to your doom. After that you will see a impish creature with greatly sized ears. Dave will try to attack with his dagger, but he keeps getting blown back by the imp, causing 10 damage with each blow. Better kill the imp thing quick before Dave dies. Your axes or saw won't work, but your loud lough ability will work. Because of his giant ears, he will get crazed by the noise and dissipate into void matter. Behind him is a small pipe. Jump in, and you will land in a small room with a single healing potion inside. Use it on Dave (You have infinite life yourself) and continue through the tunnel. You will land in another colossus esque room, expect that it is slighty larger, and the staircases are gone so you're left with the middle platforms. Then, a creature will form out of the void.
BOSS: Void colossus
The void colossus is a purple-blackish creature with an ability called void laser. This will only knock you back, but it will damage Dave for 30 hp. Jump up and up and up the platforms, to the central platform. The rope here is made of hardened steel and titanium, so your axes nor your sawblade nor your laugh will work. However, there is a code panel. Dave knows something about hacking and will start cheating the code panel. However, the void colossus will keep beating his outta his job with the lasers. You can use your sawblade to reflect them, but they won't affect the colossus. Dave takes a minute to cheat the panel. After 2/3 of that time, the lasers will come in curved patterns, so you'll have to twist in all directions to reflect them. When Dave's done his job, the rope will dissipate into more void, and the chandelier will make the colossus dissipate too. Quick now. Jump down and grab the axes level 2 (25 damage instead of the usual 15). If you're not fast enough, you won't get them, because a void portal will open and suck suck suck you through, to level 4... hopefully.

Hopefully i'll be able to quickly dream up a level 4.

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ganondox April 3, 2009 7:44 PM

Got to level 100

It has trogdor, the guy, false raiden,the grinning and more joining up for a ?final? boss fight

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Everyone, the end song lies. To get to secret level 5-alfa-norm-gopher click game over.

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Level 4 coming up right now! Hope i have enough inspiration to keep those walkthroughs coming for a loooong time...

Level 4

Where has the void portal taken you? You'll be standing in the middle of something that looks extremely like a colosseum. No, don't trick yourself, it IS a colosseum. And it's full of yellin' people. Luckily, Dave has came with you. (If you have read the walkthrough for level 3, you'll know what i mean) There is also a balcony with on it... duh. A colossus. First he will monologue a bit, but it all comes down to the fact that you are a gladiator in here...
There will be 10 waves of enemies. First wave: a pair of miniature colossi. 100 hp each, charge that deals 20 damage. Use your axes level 2 to beat these foes. Second wave: 10 void critters. Luckily, these have only 30 hp, so a couple of loud loughs will kill 'em all. Third, a miniature colossus with armor plating. Back off and let Dave kill it, you have no weapon small enough to get through the small separatings between the plating. Dave will handle it without trouble with his dagger. Fourth, 3 miniature colossi. Same applies to these as with the first wave. Fifth is a mini-boss: A rhino will pop in and trample you if you stand still. 350 hp. Jump over it and then chase it with the sawblade. Back off when he stops moving, jump over and repeat. At 100 hp he'll mix a few jumps in, be prepared. He will drop a small healing potion. Use it on Dave if needed. Sixth: a miniature colossus with 8 void critters as allies. Use loud lough to kill the critters quickly, then finish off the colossus. Seventh isn't really a wave. The big colossus on the balcony will start shooting eye-lasers at you! They are quite deadly to Dave, so dodge 15 o' dem and the seventh "wave" finishes. Eigth: 30 void critters coming from two sides. You won't be able to hit all of them with one loud lough. Quickly alternate between sides and use a loud lough each time you switch sides. Hopefully little will come through, and Dave will be able to finish them off if you didn't let much through. Ninth: Another 2 miniature colossi. The catch is that the big colossus will now resume it's laser tag, which makes this a bit harder. Tenth: The big colossus jumps down.

Boss: Colosseum colossus (hence the name)

The colossus isn't worth that much. The only small detail is that he will call minions throughout the fight. He has 1500 hp. You can actually hurt him with your weaponry. His only powers are that of his minions and his eye orbs, which is basically the same thing that the grinning colossus has. At 70% health, 10 void critters will spawn. Quickly
switch to loud lough to get yourself rid of these annoyances and turn back to the boss. At 50%, an armor-plated miniature colossus will come in. You can just about ignore it: Dave will kill it. And at 25% health, he will start levitating too high for you to reach, and a rhino will come charging in! This one has a bit less health as the mini-boss, but the rest is the same. Use the same strategy. The boss will come falling down when the rhino does. Be sure to lure that rhino away from the colossus, if you're standing under him you'll get killed outright! Then, you can slay the colossus. Instantly, a kind of angel will pop up before your face. It is called Senah. The colosseum colossus had imprisoned her to be thrown to the colossi, but luckily was saved by you! Then she'll join your party. Senah has only 200 hp, but she can heal and smite. Turn back to the decaying remains of the colossus. It has a colosseum pendant, a piece of equipment that increases all damage dealt by all of your party by 1. Then walk out of the colosseum into... into.. whatever i'm going to imagine further in level 5!

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iotacubed February 2, 2010 9:49 PM

guys, I need help with lvl 22... No matter how many golden pheonix tears i sacrifice to the creepy colossus, it keeps on using its barrage of thousand lasers, breaking the vial of a thousand truths before i can get it to the midget elf of Gale'ath to forge my twin axes of purity, which i need for the evil colossus in level 24. the only way i think i can beat it is by throwing the grail of Dal'hoon at him, blinding him and running past and leaving it behind. Are the twin axes of purity worth sacrificing the grail of dal? btw i have the complete justice paladin set and 2 axes of despair (level 20)

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It was so cute! I loved the credits song. I pressed refresh like 5 times and replayed it, because of the song! :]

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I've finally decided to do this level-making-up-of stuff.

I know that to get to the secret boss you need the Axes Of Kings,(Earthbound refrence) but how do I actully BEAT the boss? And where's the hidden door

in the Maze Of 100 Doors? Someone told me that the hidden door is actully the legendary Door #101, but I don't know what door to take!

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Never mind, power of posting!

Anyways, I can give a walkthrough so far. :P

Chapter 1: Grinning Colossus Revived

Part 1: Good News, Bad News

It has been a while since you killed the Grinning Colossus and saved Roundia from the evil threat. But when you hear from the "Hero Messenger" that the Grinning Colossus has been revived by an unknown force, you just got to hurry! BUT when you try to leave, the messenger will alert you and tell you that the Grinning Colossus has been weakened, and so redesigned and added security to his lair. So head on out and learn everything in the little village you live in. But when you try to get out, guards won't let you out, despite your status. So go talk to the "leader" to get permission. Once you get out... off to Part 2!

Part 2: To The Lair!

Aren't you glad that your village is close to a mountain? Which turns out it's THE lair? Unfortunely, a cave-in blocks the regular entrance, so, up the mountain! It's time to meet your first enemy: the Dark Walker. HP: 10. Weak Point(if you hit here, damage=X2):Its eye. To Defeat: Just switch to your melee attack and swipe away. XP Given: 3. You should level up your axe skill to level 3, and teach yourself Power Axe, and Double Axe, they'll be useful later on. Once you get to the upper half, you'll meet a new enemy: the Arm Walker. They have a new attack, using their arms, and that's stronger than their kick attack, though the kick attack is faster. Use them to level up your axe level to 6, and teach yourself Lucky Smash. Once in the lair... that'll be in Part 3!

Part 3 will be covered later!

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to beat level 20 spoiler: you have to use the orb of confusion and wile its confused you have have to use the sacred flame directly on it and dont burn the rope!

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Cheeseable April 21, 2010 12:23 PM

LOL love the credits song!

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SallyBear June 22, 2010 11:44 AM

oh my god that is the best song i've ever heard on a game! LOVE it ! :D <3

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Anonymous July 20, 2010 7:12 PM

when i got the fourth rule, i just went right into the boss, and i didn't die! it was right!

also, in level 4 how do i defeat megazorg? the doom axes don't do anything!

oh and also.

they'res only one level, i'm jsut making up stuff like everybody else.

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Dave Lopo August 23, 2010 7:28 PM

The storyline was fantastic. Officially one of my favorite games of all time next to Portal and Super Metroid. The clever way they involve burning ropes in subtle ways in every level (sometimes they're more obvious, like at the end of level 1) is very funny. And there's an easter egg:

If you walk backwards out of the screen on level 3, you'll fall into a cellar with a torch and 10 ropes. If you light them in order 3,7,1,8,4,2,6,5,10,9 in under five seconds you'll get a new hat.

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noopynick August 24, 2010 10:26 AM

all sarcasm aside... i died.

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Kongofgmaers January 16, 2011 6:14 AM

I have the attack level 26 and armor level 8 wirh Great mallet of the Frozen world, bloodthirsting sword, chain west and BFG. Also I have mana regen 20/5sec and critical strike chance 60% with Infinity edge so I deal with each critical strike 250% of normal. You can easily beat chapter 16 level 6 stage 3 with this.

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pianokitty June 19, 2011 3:19 PM

Can anybody help me with this? On level 13

At the part where you have to burn the rope, making the lamp fall so that you can get the Valuable Diamond hidden inside, every time I burn the rope, the Wind of Ill Fortune blows the lamp into the Pot of Broth, and the cook won't let me anywhere near the Pot of Broth. Am I supposed to stop the Wind of Ill Fortune, or is there some way to recover the lamp from the Pot of Broth? I really need that Valuable Diamond so that I can sell it to get enough money for armor level 22!

Ok, seriously, there is no level 13. I made all of that up.

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Links broken

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Re: the song. Flight of the Conchords, right?

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Typical. First enemy I come across and none of the weapons I have do jack to it.

**RAGEQUIT**

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smilegirl_jpg January 31, 2012 4:32 PM

I love art/experimental games, and geeky little in-jokes.

But this game, and the jokes and comments here, made me want to punch something. Sorry, I guess it's a difference of opinion, but I didn't find it amusing at all.

The actual game was very entertaining for the 45 seconds it took to complete, though. ^_^

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