INSERT INTO jayisgames (reviewer, game, description, analysis) VALUES ("FunnyMan", "mySQLgame",
"You may find it hard to believe, but mySQLgame is not an oxymoron, nor is it a specter for frightening small children. In fact, it doesn't even run on mySQL. So what is it? Fun.
While most games try to use all sorts of fancy concepts to make you forget that everything you see is just numbers in a computer, mySQLgame takes exactly the opposite approach. You play as a row in a database, and your objective is to fight the other rows to decrease their numbers and increase your own. If you've played any other browser-based MMO, you've already got the basic idea, the only difference is that in mySQLgame, what you see is more or less the same as what actually exists.
The basic gameplay goes something like this: Use scanning to see the surrounding area, then buy some attackers and send them off to attack a juicy nearby row, one with lots of money and fuel, but few attackers and defenders. If most of your attackers survive and bring back loot, great! If not, pick an easier target and try again. Keep going until you've got a decent pile of money, then buy some factories, defenders, and multipliers, in roughly that order. Don't let your attack multiplier get to 5 before you're ready to search farther afield for prey, because you'll lose the ability to attack targets with both multipliers still at 1.
With one exception, all the commands you have are SQL statements and, along with their cost, tell you exactly what will happen when you run them. If, like most people, you don't actually know SQL, don't worry. There's a help button by each command, and while a few of them don't actually have any help, you won't need those for a while anyway. You may, however, need a little help with vocabulary: \"decrement\" is programmer-speak for decrease, and similarly, \"increment\" means increase.",
"Analysis: If you've ever played a game with a boss key, your first impression might be that this game doesn't need one: It already looks like a spreadsheet. While for most games, this would be a bad thing, it fits perfectly with the atmosphere (so to speak) of mySQLgame. It's a numbers game, pure and simple, and by not pretending to be anything else, mySQLgame has managed to take the ubiquitous browser-based MMO and distill it down to the very essence of the genre.
That said, the interface isn't perfect. Even with the help, the learning curve is steep for anyone who doesn't know SQL, The current color choices for the log are also troublesome, making attack results difficult to read, especially when highlighted as new. On the other hand, the game is about a week old, so there's plenty of time for improvement.
The gameplay is simplistic, but definitely not simple. All those other rows out there belong to someone, and they probably won't take kindly to being attacked. On the other hand, even if you do get pounded down to 0, your most expensive assets (factories and multipliers) are invulnerable, so you'll be able to pick yourself right back up and seek revenge when they go offline. This also means that there's no need to feel bad about attacking your undefended neighbors; you're just harvesting their current crop of resources, and they'll probably do the same thing to you later on.
Even if you're not usually into browser-based MMOs, you might want to give mySQLgame a try. Most of them can't hold my interest for long, but mySQLgame is fast-paced, forgiving, and you'll feel like a pro in no time. By stripping out all the fluff, the fun was concentrated into a sleek and powerful package. Even if you only play for a few hours, you'll still enjoy every minute.
Play mySQLgame because the rest of us need more targets!");
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