Moon Disappears from Sky, Supposedly Eaten by Spaceship

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Cheese Dreams article
ABOVE: One of many photographs of the spaceship allegedly responsible for the moon's disappearance. The moon was just over half the size of the "M" logo on the hull.
The moon disappeared from the sky on the night of April 10, 2008, and the public is in disagreement regarding why or how it disappeared.

"Normally when there's a new moon, you can still see sort of a shadow where the moon is supposed to be," professional astronomer Spazz Hopper was quoted as saying. "But there's no shadow anymore. It's gone, completely gone, like the last cookie on the plate after you turn your back on that hungry kid."

The most likely theory, Hopper points out, is that a more massive celestial body passed by the Earth and pulled the moon out of its orbit, though no evidence of such a celestial body has turned up.

Several stargazers, on the other hand, have a different theory of what happened that night. They claim that a giant spaceship came by and "swallowed" the moon.

"I swear that's what I saw that night," high school student Hector Headcase insists. "The moon was full, and then this big spacecraft came by and opened its mouth, and CHOMP, the moon was gone."

"It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see through that theory," Hopper argued when asked for his opinion. "The moon is approximately 2,160 miles in diameter. This alleged spaceship would have to be three times as large as Earth to be able to 'swallow the moon' like everyone says it did, and if something that big passed that close to us, there's no way it couldn't have at least thrown the Earth's rotation out of whack with its gravity."

Despite the scientific impossibility of it, observers continue to insist on the moon's fate, and some have even taken photos of the spaceship. Hopper maintains that there's a logical explanation for all this, but even now it remains a mystery.

Skywire Tours Closed due to Safety Concerns - p. 3
Skating on Thin Ice: How Safe Is It? A Scientific Study - p. 6
History Corner: How the Great War of England (1897) was Won - p. 8

Yep, another fake news article by yours truly. I actually wrote this the day after the last one was posted, but I waited a week because I didn't want any inhibiting overlapping of interest to occur. -SonicLover


Awesome good work :)


lol another good one.
Keep up the good work.

fuzzyface July 22, 2008 1:51 AM



May I point out that if the moon disappeared then the human race would die? There would be no tides, the gravitational balance in our planet's precarious balance would be pulled out of wack, and the molten interior of the world would partially solidify.


Tides... Shmides... Where did all these mouse droppings come from?!?!


Nice Zeke...

The human race could survive, just under altered conditions. Unlike wildlife, we can adapt quicker to our environment and change it as need be. Thats why Human>Squirrell XD

I love these articles Soniclover... I sugest that after a while, you switch to another game developer...


Nitrome...How could all this go wrong!?

fuzzyface July 22, 2008 10:20 AM

Ninjaz, when it goes about ability to survive in different environments and speed to adapt it is:

bakteria > cockroach > human

Also humanity needs time to adapt, if things change too fast we just die. Missing moon might(!) have disastroes effects on plankton (due to the missing tides) and without that oxygen level would quickly decline on earth. Altough a few humans might be able to live a little longer with some artifical oxygen generation, the most would die soon, the rest sooner or later due the society not being large enough to be sustainable. Effects on the earth core are unknown, hell we hardly know much anything about the earthcore... So it might "just" be the axis of the earth starting to twiggle and creating "just" enourmous climate catastrophes (where the one that made dinousours extinct would be laugh in comparison) or it could make something significant break in the stable flows. And e.g. make the earth shell swimming on the lava flip over. (No human intelligence would make that able to make us survive) Life on earth would survive this, hell there are bacterias that directly live inside(!) the abyss of alive vulcanos! But for humanity it might just be going that itch too fast, for adaption (technical, social or biological).

@SonicLover You know, I like narratives, and I know Jay can do with his blog whatever he likes, but IMHO this favorism to nitrome goes already too far. I mean now we have the second "double feature", that is refeaturing in the new cloth of narrative an already featured game. Couldn't we just get a bit less substile and write big sign "GO TO NITROME NOW" all over the website whenever we view it?


@SonicLover: I agree with you that there are a vast variety of game developers on the web, but there are other companies who are as big (or bigger) than nitrome.

@Fuzzyface: First... I love debates!

The loss of the moon will not cause life threatening changes to the planet for at least a month.

The oceans currents (caused by the moon but also geographical features) will slow and possibly halt, but not imeadiately.
Weather patterns will become less deadly over time till only small showers are left, but inland plants and animals are not generally affected by the tide and could live without it untill the effects move farther inland.

And scientists know what will most likely happen if the moon suddenly disappeared, and the moon would go instantly (according to the article) so people would start preparing immeaditally.

And according to science, the moon is moving away 3cm each year and will eventually leave earths orbit.

Also according to science, the magnetic pull of the earth has filped before (many times) and doesnt pose much of a threat to life other than the slight climate switch.

People would be able to survive, but more than likely only the ones in the developed continetal regions such as North America and China (Europe is too dependent on the Gulf Stream for climate and the forests of South America would die without the rain)

fuzzyface July 22, 2008 11:09 AM

Ninjaz, I am scientist, and as arrogant science wants to know everything, really the system is so complex, we hardly can tell the effect of loss of moon. Do you really know how much plankton needs tides to exist? At least the long term effects are really going to be distrastous becaues moon does stabalize the rotation axis of earth. As we see planets without moon the axis is moving far more chaotically, and it is believed the stability the moon causes to earth own rotation was necessary for earth to be able to develop live at all, otherwise climates would change so fast. And about humanity, well some "important" people in some secret underground caves might survive for some years, but I think you overestimate humans independance on earth. This little surving societies would sooner or later run out of resources, and without having a hugh oil industry getting oil, and you'll need a lot of oil to e.g. create oxygen artifically.. it might come to an end. Really we can specualte a lot, but we have honestly do admit, we (as humanity) hardly know enough about earth/moon/and the systems interacting with each other, to really be able to say what would happen would moon lets say be "kipnapped" by aliens...

That moon is losing movement energy due to the tides on earth and thus going away from earth is no secret. When its 0,003m per year at a distance of 384,000,000m (i transformed all to meter), it will take 100 billion years to have at least double distance (yes I assumed a linear model now, that sure false)... When was our sun said to die? 10 billion years. So that is a danger more "immediate" than losing moon to natural causes.

Also I found this funny chain of events while loss of moon will kill humanity:

no moonlight -> no seduction -> no sex -> end of mankind

Also not to mention about the gravitational effects while the aliens are abducting the moon, its might be like a rubberband where you suddendly remove one side...

fuzzyface July 22, 2008 11:16 AM

ahaha, someone even wrote a book about this subject:

One thing he doesn't mention as far I can tell, is the female period. Isn't it said to be connected to the moon? Missing moon might break at least our natural ability to reproduce (not mentioning the already negative effects of missing moonlight :))


Fuzzyface - FYI, I have not asked SonicLover to write anything for us specifically, just that I have given him permission to write for us.

He is free to write about anything he chooses.

Please stop with your conspiracy theories. There is absolutely nothing going on between JIG and Nitrome other than mutual respect. Sheesh.


lol good job SonicLover you have effectively convinced two people that we will actually have to figure out how to live without a moon.
NEWS FLASH: this (as is posted) is a joke ..... we still have our precious moon (lol).

chaos creator July 22, 2008 4:43 PM

well at least i don't have to worry bout the moon getting an evil face and trying to destroy the earth....instead i have to worry about the EVIL ALIENS taking us too

Xylozex July 22, 2008 7:38 PM

This is great, SonicLover! Keep up the good work!


You should make more of these! They are awesome!

Mordecai July 22, 2008 8:30 PM

No, no no. The moon was eaten by a big fish, which I promptly caught, and got a celestial brush power!

Seriously guys, go buy Okami and play and love and cherish it forever.


*Sigh* You've bested me Fuzzyface...

@Link: it isn't stupid to examine and discuss the results of the moon suddenly going missing, the post has just provoked our debate... Go put on a mask and stop the moon from hitting Hyrule...


@Ninjaz: LOLZ


Da da da da *BANG!*

Dont worry spy/cop/under-cover-agent/detective
meme is on the case!(well im on all the cases XD)


Wait, missing moon, no strange effects. the Magneboy craze, Trommey's Skywire, those things Dr. Frostbite saw...

It's a conspiricy by Nye Trommey and Emortin Co.! I'll look into it!


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