Of all the casual gaming review sites on the internet, you had to walk into mine... really, you had to. If you didn't, I wouldn't get paid, and then I'd have to get a real job, and I can't go back there, man, I can't!
Hazmat - Ask any of the science teachers who had the misfortune of trying to impart knowledge to me throughout the course of my education, and in addition to a haunted stare you'll probably also be advised that you shouldn't let me near any sort of chemical. Well, JOKE'S ON YOU, MIZ SWITZER! Thanks to this little retro platformer I am now perfectly equipped to deal with all sorts of toxic materials, and if you play it, you will be too! Just run, leap, and try not to die in what has to be the world's most loosely "up to code" training center ever.
Zombie Exterminator - Apparently, there's a blood feud going on between zombies and physics puzzle game developers, since any time the undead pop up lately they're getting crushed under elaborate physics contraptions. Man, I dunno... I think you guys need to sit down with Dr Phil and work that stuff out because it is making office parties really awkward. But in the interim, I guess, you're just going to have to settle for splattering the undead all over the place. But I want you to know, you're only perpetuating a vicious cycle!
Moontype - We like the moon, even though it hasn't returned my Backstreet Boys CD I loaned it in junior high "just for the weekend". Still, the moon is pretty rad, and most of us are ready to defend it the only way we know how... by typing tiny words furiously to destroy aliens who are thoughtful enough to broadcast proper spelling as their only weakness! It's a simple, good looking little game that needs a bit more variety, but is just perfect for anyone who needs to feel like they've accomplished something today. Punk, I took down an alien armada, I think that's a little more important than "getting my work done".
Rocket Panda - Longanimals knows what you need, baby, and what you need is to stare at some furry round panda butt! Soar through unusual environments in a very Star Fox-type fashion (minus annoying bird and frog), grab power-ups, and blast... things! Adorable, bouncy, and simple to play, this game is full of that panda butt arcade action we all look for in our day. Plus, I can't help but think that Rocket Panda and Rock Lobster would make one heckuva garage band band.
The Adventures of Dear Explorer - Despite what my name would have many, many, many hi-larious souls to suggest, I am not much of an explorer. But you can be, if you fire up this wonderfully campy arcade game full of letter jackets, cheerleaders, dark forces, and man-eating slugs! Delve deep into a cave to rescue your cheerleader, collecting souvenir t-shirts and dying a whole bunch along the way. Awkward controls and stiff gameplay are what prevented my fellow review monkeys and I from giving this its own feature, but any shotgun aficionado who harbours a secret desire to be as close to turning into Bruce Campbell as humanly possible (ie, all of you) will still appreciate it.
I actually played hazmat before JIG posted it. Gotten 3 stars on all the levels.
The game is semi-short, but full of fun and has great controls (as far as basics go). Reminded me of a more fluid version of Nitrome's Toxic and Toxis 2, just without all the enemies and bombs.
We Like The Moon was great for a little chuckle. Helped me unwind from school. :)
Rocket Panda seems to be a nice little homage to Space Harrier, a game that I'm kind of surprised I haven't seen someone try to bring back yet...
Rocket Panda is a lot more Space Harrier than Star Fox :)
I am having a heck of a time with level 14 in Hazmat. Any hints on what I need to do?
@hothotpot:
I just got past it... It takes incredible timing and dexterity. X.x
You jump on to the [x]s on your immediate right. Move slowly so that you stand on each one and wait until they almost stop blinking. Run past the spikes to hit the lever. Once you have hit the lever, run back on any remaining blocks to your immediate left and jump onto the regenerating [x]s on the further left.
Then jump onto the springs, past the first 3 [x]s, past the spikes, and move onto the very right edge of the rightmost [x]. Allow yourself to fall, and hit the lever(you should be barely touching it, to not trigger the spikes). Then run back left, up the springs again, then onward right to your destiny.
I'm enjoying Adventures of Dear Explorer, but I have two major complaints:
1) I would very much like to be able to go back and repeat previous levels to find coins that I missed the first time through.
2) It should be possible to reallocate skill points.
I've just gotten to the level with the sorcerers and I can't beat it because I need more levels in certain skills. With no way to repeat levels where I missed coins, and no way to reallocate skills, I would have to restart the game to get past this level.
JIGuest:
I'm not sure what your stats are, but I had a lot of problems with the first sorcerer level until I realized how to handle them. They try to stay close to you but at the same time avoid being directly in line with you, so use that to your advantage. Creep up on them, being sure to either fire immediately or dodge if you happen to find one while they're in line with you, I find if I fire a 'warning shot' into a room, sometimes I'll hit one right off the bat. But when you find them, sort of work them into a corner or wall so they can't avoid you and then fire immediately, no hesitations when you line up. Then run, and repeat picking off until dead. Watch your back as I still don't know if they're just scared of being looked at and the smite blocks magic attacks.
Also, I'm loving Dear Explorer, but yes it definitely needs a return to level feature. I don't know who made this game, but it's gorgeous in so many ways. They need to keep on making them.
The fact that Rocket Panda has a theme song makes it, by far, the awesomest game of this Link Dump. I'm loving this song. :D
Urgh. Could I have some help on the Master Sorcerer level in Dear Adventurer?
Blargh, I can't even HIT him!
And those stupid fire elementals zig-zag until they hit me!
Power of posting(typing):
Go up into the top tunnel. If you are quick enough, the MS will be there. Shoot him. If you have the 4-coin upgrade purchased on shotgun damage, it takes two hits to kill him.
About the author(s) of your notes:
There are at least three of them: one becomes the Master Sorcerer, one died from the zombies, and one keeps leaving notes past the MS.. There may be more.
Oh, and as far as skill points go:
Perception and Speed I only leveled to keep balanced with the rest of my stats.
@JiGuest - About your coins:
When you start a new level, let yourself die. Now you can see how many Coins/Monsters/Diary Pages/Secret Passages are in each level! VERY useful!
Final Boss is EPIC!
"Imma f*** you up, boy!"
Original Explorer
He is a zombie with a gun and *safari* hat. He can shoot his gun and he can use the heroic punch skill. You ought to have maxed out your gun by this point. And maxing the speed of your own punch ought to help on the first part of this level, too.
I lol'd so hard!
Meh, missed out on 2 coins the level previous (and 2 secret walls) as well as some EARLY level where I missed at least 1 coin... No completion bonus for me. I fail.
Dear Explorer was fun, and you sold it to me with the last sentence. But now that I've completed it, I saw one of the achievements was to complete the game without killing anything? How masochistic does he think we are?
Just when Moontype started to get challenging, it stopped spawning new enemies (level 23). A neat spin on the typing games.
The Adventures of Dear Explorer:
Level 1
0 Enemies, 1 coin, 3 Diary Pages
T-shirt: "I'm just starting!"
Level 2
16 Enemies, 2 coins, 1 Diary Page
T-shirt: "Slug-fest 2011."
Level 3
27 Enemies, 2 coins
T-shirt: "Three down! Thirteen to go!"
Level 4
26 Enemies, 2 coins, 3 Diary Pages, 2 Secret Walls
T-shirt: "Walls that don't exist? Hilarious!"
Level 5
24 Enemies, 5 coins, 3 Diary Pages
T-shirt: "I eatz your brainz!"
Level 6
60 Enemies, 5 coins, 3 Diary Pages, 2 Secret Walls
T-shirt: "map=3x3+3"
Level 7
WARNING:
Boss! Mother Slug - fairly easy to defeat. She moves just like a regular slug. By this time, I had 2 upgrades for my firepower and gun cooldown. It should only take you 3 or 4 shots to finish her.
61 Enemies, 6 coins, 1 Diary Page, 1 Secret Wall
T-shirt: "Slugs have a mother too!"
This is a good level to aim for the "Smite 4 undead at once" achievement. After this level, you will never see another slug again.
Level 8
41 Enemies, 6 coins, 2 Diary Pages, 3 Secret Walls
I hope you find this useful; I had to replay the whole game over again to get these stats.
I'll post the rest of the levels when I get around to finishing them again.
@Solatoral
HIPSTER!
Level 8 T-shirt text:
I only shoot what I can't smite!"
Level 9
7 coins, 1 Diary Page, 1 Secret Wall
T-shirt: "Vertigo...
Just don't look down..."
Level 10
37 Enemies, 7 coins, 2 Diary Pages
T-shirt: "Great Balls of Fire!"
A new enemy type is introduced - Sorceror. They have two attacks, both of which give you a warning. Fireball can be blocked with Smite, and I haven't managed to block Lightning yet, as far as I know.
Level 11
45 Enemies, 8 coins, 3 Diary Pages
T-shirt: "Praise the Master Sorcerer!"
Level 12
WARNING:
Boss! Master Sorcerer - how to beat him is in previous comments, but strategy may vary.
5 Enemies, 10 coins, 2 Diary Pages
T-shirt: "All your temples are belong to us!"
Level 13
17 Enemies, 10 coins, 1 Diary Page
T-shirt: "Dear Explorer
Freezing hell since 2011"
Level 14
17 Enemies, 11 coins, 3 Diary Pages, 4 Secret Walls
T-shirt: "CAN I HAZ SWORDZ AN BOWZ?!"
Level 15
20 Enemies, 11 coins, 1 Diary Page, 2 Secret Walls
I missed the secret walls my first time through. You know where the turret is? The second wall segment and the second-to-last wall segment are fake. Open those and get 2 coins, several enemies, and your T-shirt!
"I went through hell and all I got was this lousy shirt!"
Level 16
WARNING:
Boss! The Original Explorer - he is also described in earlier posts. He can shoot and use Smite. His Smite cooldown is WICKED fast, but if your gun cooldown is maxed, you can pull off a second shot before his Smite recharges.
Just discovered that Smite will stun him for a time! It deals NO damage, though. Shooting him while he is stunned wakes him up. I kept dying when I tried to stun him before shooting. Bleh.
25 Enemies, 12 coins, 3 Diary Pages, 1 Secret Wall
T-shirt: "There's no leader like a cheerleader!"
Tip (or a bug?) about Ghosts -
Supposedly they have no physical bodies (bullets don't work, but I don't know whether they STOP the bullets), but they canNOT pass through walls or other enemies. HOWEVER, they CAN float over lava that normal enemies (and you) can't step on.
Enemies in general -
Slugs have VERY low health and can be killed in one shot without any upgrades.
I didn't waste my bullets on the zombies, so I don't know about THEIR health.
Sorcerers will need 2 shots for a long time, but a maxed out gun will kill them with one bullet (and possibly the next-to-last upgrade as well...I am not sure).
Goblin Warriors take 2 shots with a maxed out gun, and 3 shots if you can upgrade one more time.
Goblin Archers require 1 shot for both of those gun strengths.
Conjurers only need 1 bullet as well and can be killed with 1 Smite at the last two strengths. The ghosts that they summon are destroyed with 1 Smite.
The "Goblin" (whoops, they are actually "Demons") class CAN be killed with Smite. Ghosts do NOT block your bullets (arrows as well? I don't know...). Enemies block incoming fire.
Has anyone managed to get the other two endings? W/o dying & w/o a kill?
One word of warning on Dear Explorer... grab the last diary page BEFORE you step in front of the princes-- I mean, cheerleader, or you'll miss out on collecting it. :P
Hazmat- Cute little platformer, nothing really special, but it's pretty cute! The humor in the signs is nice as well.
Moontype- Officially my favorite "typing" game. In a world filled with horribly boring games that only exist to keep a child's attention for a few minutes to accually LEARN something, this adorable moon-defender has music, graphics, and fun. Couldn't get past level nine, though!
Rocket Panda- Wow, a treat for casual gamers! You simply don't see very many of these types of games anymore for the everyday person at home. Very sweet, (literally, in some ways,) and entertaining to play. Though, pretty difficult to play on a track pad...is it any easier for the mouse? I like the fact that you can keep the "panda buddies" power-ups when you get hurt, saved me a bunch of time! Also, the theme song is so charming, (Another rarity of a casual game!), and you can't stop wanting to listen to it...my favorite game of this particular Dump!
The Adventures of Dear Explorer- I have to admit, I didn't really give this one a chance...after encountering the first slugs and getting totally mauled by them, I exited out the window. Pretty hard to catch for a bunch of slugs!
Is anyone else having problems with Hazmat? For some reason, none of the levers seem to work when I try to flip them (but they still make an interesting sound).
Dear Explorer was a fun game. I completed it twice (second time because I tried to get the no dying achievement - but failed).
I found an easy way to kill First Explorer the second time round (not that he's hard to beat anyway). All you have to do is lead him to the turrents just outside the boss area. Just stand somewhere behind the turrents and when First Explorer follows you there, he'll just walk along the the turrents in a fixed amount of space and will eventually get killed by them lol.
Oh yeah forgot to add, the creator is crazy for making a no kill achievement. It is actually impossible. I actually gave an attempt and there's no way to pass the stage that comes after Mother Slug's stage.
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