Of all the casual gaming review sites on the internet, you had to walk into mine... really, you had to. If you didn't, I wouldn't get paid, and then I'd have to get a real job, and I can't go back there, man, I can't!
- Hazmat - Ask any of the science teachers who had the misfortune of trying to impart knowledge to me throughout the course of my education, and in addition to a haunted stare you'll probably also be advised that you shouldn't let me near any sort of chemical. Well, JOKE'S ON YOU, MIZ SWITZER! Thanks to this little retro platformer I am now perfectly equipped to deal with all sorts of toxic materials, and if you play it, you will be too! Just run, leap, and try not to die in what has to be the world's most loosely "up to code" training center ever.
- Zombie Exterminator - Apparently, there's a blood feud going on between zombies and physics puzzle game developers, since any time the undead pop up lately they're getting crushed under elaborate physics contraptions. Man, I dunno... I think you guys need to sit down with Dr Phil and work that stuff out because it is making office parties really awkward. But in the interim, I guess, you're just going to have to settle for splattering the undead all over the place. But I want you to know, you're only perpetuating a vicious cycle!
- Moontype - We like the moon, even though it hasn't returned my Backstreet Boys CD I loaned it in junior high "just for the weekend". Still, the moon is pretty rad, and most of us are ready to defend it the only way we know how... by typing tiny words furiously to destroy aliens who are thoughtful enough to broadcast proper spelling as their only weakness! It's a simple, good looking little game that needs a bit more variety, but is just perfect for anyone who needs to feel like they've accomplished something today. Punk, I took down an alien armada, I think that's a little more important than "getting my work done".
- Rocket Panda - Longanimals knows what you need, baby, and what you need is to stare at some furry round panda butt! Soar through unusual environments in a very Star Fox-type fashion (minus annoying bird and frog), grab power-ups, and blast... things! Adorable, bouncy, and simple to play, this game is full of that panda butt arcade action we all look for in our day. Plus, I can't help but think that Rocket Panda and Rock Lobster would make one heckuva garage band band.
- The Adventures of Dear Explorer - Despite what my name would have many, many, many hi-larious souls to suggest, I am not much of an explorer. But you can be, if you fire up this wonderfully campy arcade game full of letter jackets, cheerleaders, dark forces, and man-eating slugs! Delve deep into a cave to rescue your cheerleader, collecting souvenir t-shirts and dying a whole bunch along the way. Awkward controls and stiff gameplay are what prevented my fellow review monkeys and I from giving this its own feature, but any shotgun aficionado who harbours a secret desire to be as close to turning into Bruce Campbell as humanly possible (ie, all of you) will still appreciate it.