Link Dump Friday №213
I've got a lov-e-ly bunch of Link Dump Games, (diddly-diddly) here they are all standing in a row, (bum bum bum) one with Bloons, one with cubes, one with spikes fallin' onto yer head...
- Spike: A Love Story - [Parental Warning: Violence and gore.] If, like me, you have difficulty expressing your emotions, you might find a kindred spirit in this morbidly amusing reflex/arcade game about a lowly but lethal spike trap in a castle. He/She/It falls in love with the plucky hero of the game, and can only express this affection the same way he/she/it expresses everything else... by smashing the hero into a bloody pulp. It doesn't take the hero long to realise he doesn't want anything to do with what you consider romance, and he resorts to increasingly tricky and complex means to try to scoot past you without getting pulverised. Just like high school!
- Cubium - When your parents or grandparents were kids, they didn't have any video games to keep them occupied. Instead, they had to go outside and play, chasing hoops with sticks, tying tin cans on strings to younger siblings, or tossing pennies at walls. (Apparently.) At its core, Cubium is a simple projectile physics game that hearkens back to simpler times as well, only instead of knocking cans off of fence posts with baseballs, you're hurling orbs at top speed towards stacks of tiny sentient cubes, trying to knock them all off the screen, Blosics style. It's good, wholesome old-timey fun with a little wanton destruction tossed in.
- Sci-Fighters - If there's one thing every nerd secretly holds to be true in our heart of hearts, it's that we would totally have Kirk's back in the event that we were thrown into an alien deathmatch ring with him. Unless, you know, it was an every-man-for-himself style battle royale arcade avoidance mess... then he'd have to go down. SuperFlashBros wants to throw you in a ring with a slavering alien monstrosity along with several other competitors and an assortment of random power-ups, and see who comes out alive.
- Bloons 2: Spring Fling - April showers bring May flowers, and a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of... monkeys chucking pointy implements at balloons. Obviously. Bloons is back with a seasonal pack of poppin' for you to try your hands at. Spring seems like the perfect time for Bloons action, especially if, like me, you're old enough to remember lawn darts. Man, this makes me nostalgic for my childhood; running around the backyard, hurling bits of plastic with spikes on the end at each other... memories. Painful, traumatising memories.
- Animal Raceway - Most of us have, at one time or another, wanted a pet we could hug and pet and squeeze and name George, but why stop there? Unleash your favourite critter's true monetary potential in this racing sim that has you train up your hot-shot octopus (mine was apparently named Greasy Dirtyburger, which I deemed appropriate enough to keep) until you can clean up at the racetrack. Really, shouldn't you get a big trophy just for convincing an octopus to wear a pair of racing shorts and walk upright?