You know, friend, we love you, but we think you're getting soft. We're too good to you. Too many physics puzzles, nonsensical minigames, pterodactyls... well, we're just saying we think you could do with some toughening up. That's why there's a land mine in this week's Link Dump Friday. A perfect little package of jump scares and shrieks in amidst all the cute pixelated kittens, grinning hungry balls, stoneage inventors, and smooshy fairytale critters. Some people say variety is the spice of life. We tend to agree.
iZZi - They say there's no such thing as a free meal, but don't tell that to these smiling critters. The goal is to shoot the iZZi at the blocks that match its colour so it can devour everything onscreen. It's a little slow paced, but it is cute as a button. Provided your buttons have eyes. And mouths. And tend to swallow massive amounts of coloured bricks. And... you know, who came up with that saying anyway?!
Stonepunk - The goal is simple. Upgrade your prehistoric invention with all manner of wildlife and twigs to fly as far to the right as you can. If there's one thing I hate more than Mondays, it's trends. So let me just say that while all you suckers are out there gluing cogs to your boots and painting your belts copper, me and this little launch game are starting a new, way-cool way of nerd life and you're not invited. We tried stone top-hats and stone monocles, but those didn't work out so well.
Neco Touch - This is... you know what, I don't even know. It appears to be a cute arcade game about touching kittens, but sometimes you end up sticking your finger in a pig. Or... something. Look, ours is not to question why. That way lies madness and despair where the internet is concerned. At least it's cute, colourful, and will make you grin. Wouldn't you love to be a contestant on this gameshow?
Dreamgate Escape - [Parental Warning: Not suitable for children.] People have said they like it when we include escape games in their Link Dump Friday brew. When I think of these people, I tend to think of sweet, gentle, well-meaning souls of come to us for morning comfort and entertainment while drinking heavily creamed coffee out of ceramic kitten mugs. (In other words, kindred spirits.) Well, allow me to alienate all of you by including one that is short but superbly freaky. The goal is to escape (naturally) from the strange, surreal nightmare world you find yourself in, and although it may look a little cheesy, you'll quickly discover that this game has mastered the art of the jump scare.
Jabberwocky, The Shepherd of Slimes - They never told me the Jabberwocky was so squishy and cuddly! Kind of makes you wonder why Alice was making all that fuss, doesn't it? This physics/puzzle about the titular character trying to guide a herd of dumb-as-dirt slimes to safety in each level is extremely cute, but a little heavy on trial-and-error. Kind of makes you wonder where all the slimes are going, doesn't it? Do you think this is where gummi worms come from?
There IS a method to the madness that is Neko Touch. The idea is to press Space when the crosshair is lined up with the part of the dart board that matches its colour. If you succeed, you gain points, if you don't succeed your nosy little finger will be pricking something else than the cat entirely. Also, the points count down until you've pressed Space. And the more points you get, the harder it becomes to align the cursor with the dart board.
The colours of the cat don't always match the colours of the target, when when they do, it's wrong. It turns grey but my target has no grey- I stop it in the purple - and that's correct. The cat turns yellow, I stop the cross hair ion yellow, and that's wrong. Now I know how a colour-blind person feels!
You need to match the color of the cursor, not the cat.
Thanks hyperkinetic - that makes it a little easier ;-)
Four comments on Stonepunk:
I have a weakness for launch games, and this is a decent one. I wish the upgrades told you what exactly they would do, but I enjoy the "collecting" aspect of them anyway.
On the achievements:
10 Birds achievement must be completed during one launch, not cumulatively.
20 Dino achievement must be completed during one launch, not cumulatively.
2000 gem achievement does not count gems received for distance, height, or flight time factors. Only counts gem bags collected during the actual launch.
That's all... enjoy!
Nooo not the jump scare! Haven't game makers learned from the film industry that the art of terror lies in atmosphere and ambiance? Our imaginations are much more terrifying than a stupid face screaming at me in the screen - plus it's a cheap tactic! Dreamgate escape totally had me until the last two words popped up :(
YAY Link Dump Friday! ^.^
When I logged on, I realized what day it was... And I was like, "Yay, dink... uh... dump... uh... LINK DUMP!"
I'm just smart like that. :P
Dreamgate Escape was still a decent escape game, even with the "Jump Scare" moments. It had some nice creepiness, and it had some fun moments.
To those trying it:
Don't be afraid to die, sometimes it's the only way to move forward..
I. Hate. Jump scares.
I. HATE. Jump scares.
I REALLY HATE jump scares with no real point.
I do NOT recommend Jabberwocky. The controls are too sticky to be playable after the first few levels. Once you get far enough, it becomes impossible to control Jabberwocky, and thus impossible to beat the game.
Neco Touch is... What? So, if I can
touch the breast in the right place,
my reward is that
I don't have to stick my finger in a pig's butt?
FINALLY. A game that speaks to my real-life, day-to-day experience. And the Herp Alpert & Tijuana Brass soundtrack is absolutely perfect.
I really enjoyed iZZi. The music and game was relaxing, but I wasn't able to get all the badges. The ones I have/know about are
Absorb 350 brown, blue, and red blocks (3 badges)
Get all brown, silver, and gold trophies (3 badges)
Shoot 500 iZZi's
Shoot an iZZi off-screen
Finish a stage without popping an iZZi
Fire your first iZZi
Finish the 1st level
This is a total of 11/14 badges.
[List items fixed. If you're going to make HTML lists in your comments, please make sure they are properly formed by using both open and close tags. Thank you! -Jay]
Hmm. The other badges seem to be
Beat 10 levels in a row
Create your first level
Knock off 100 blocks
I love jump scares! First I'm lulled into a false sense of security, and then BAM! After a brief moment of shock, I can't stop laughing because they "got" me.
Thank you again, Dora, for thinking of the escapers. GrinnyP's weekly escape is my idea of heaven, but more escapes are always welcome.
By the way, you nailed us escape lovers: here I am in my rocking chair ... wearing my flannel nightie ... sipping tea from a china cup ... not! (Actually, I'm trying not to wake up my husband who thinks escape games are ludicrous ... until he gets sucked into one, insists on finishing, and won't let me "cheat" (look at the walk-through). :)
One iZZi question:
How is the "Knock Off 100 Blocks" achieved?
Oh, nevermind. Level 17 is great for it.
Just shoot "off color" iZZi's into the first two channels and let the blocks drop off the screen.
Thanks CrankYanker, I had given up on getting the 2000 gems achievement after I had got over 2000 points and not got the achievement.
I had a forehead-smacking event when I realized I could use the up and down arrows to move the car sideways while it was on the ground, enabling getting apples and hitting dinosaurs. I found that out after I had almost completely maxed out the upgrades.
I love launch + upgrade + achievement games. Part of me is thrilled when I get all the upgrades, but most of me wants a bigger pterodactyl and a way more powerful turtle.
To get the 20 dinos achievement
I launched towards the ground and then crawled along the ground slow enough to hit almost all the apples and dinosaurs, just using enough acceleration to keep moving forward.
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