Welcome back to another succulent Friday, where this week's games are ripe for the picking! We gotcher snakes, we gotcher toes, we gotcher metaphorical flights of fancy. We got it all! All we need... is you! So warm up your gaming fingers, buff your nails, jump on that unicycle and aim for the floating brain of misery! (I promise, it'll all make sense. Eventually. Probably. Maybe?)
- Darkness 2 - Hurricane season is almost upon us, and I'll take it upon myself to inform you that, as far as emergency supplies go, flashlights are so last year. No, what you do, see, is you get a paint gun loaded with glowing white paint, and you fire it randomly all around you until ... okay, you probably don't want to rely on magic glowy paint in an emergency, but it does make for an intriguing puzzle platformer. Use paint to find your way to the exit in each level without running out. The problem is that you can basically brute force your way through most of the levels by sheer determined dumb luck without even using any paint.
- Toe Nail Wheel - This is a game where you play a toe. On a wheel. And you're trying to shoot the Brain of Mystery. Seriously. Um. I don't know what else to tell you, other than it's a shooter, with upgrades, where your goal is to dodge or destroy enemies and collect the cash they drop, using it between waves to upgrade your arsenal, all the while pecking away at the health of the Brain of Misery. Which, um. Just sort of sits there, really. It's seriously weird, is what it is, and that's coming from a woman who refuses to drink chocolate milk without a spoon.
- Shadow Snake - Shadow Snake is fifty percent shadowy-er than those other shadow snakes! In this stylish upgrade of the iconic arcade game, munch down orbs and avoid enemies until you open the portal to the next level. There's some seriously lovely design going on here, and once you've figured out each enemy's pattern it can get pretty relaxing, but unfortunately not quite varied enough to support your interest once you're past all the romance the "ooooh, ahhhhh" visuals have to offer.
- Speed Escape 4 - It's the time again! You've got three rooms, and five minutes for each one to try to escape. You know, stuff like this makes me glad I haven't been kidnapped by some crazy psychopath and forced to escape his house of clever traps. If my lack of success with escape games is any indication, I'd spend approximately five minutes trying to figure things out, half an hour sulking in pity, and would probably still be trying to find a walkthrough on my awful cellphone connection when the killer returned. I make a very bad victim.
- Inside a Dead Skyscraper - Created to promote an up-and-coming band, and based on personal experience, this experimental little bit of interactive art from the creator of Every Day the Same Dream is... odd. Armed with a device that lets you read the thoughts of nearby people (or does it?!) you take flight and explore your limited surroundings (or do you?!). Unfortunately for fans hoping lightning will strike twice, this lacks the emotional punch of Every Day the Same Dream and instead just comes off as... odd. Then again, there's nothing wrong with being... odd. I'm told I'm pretty... odd... myself.