Oh no! Ooooohhh noooooo! Decree... draining personality! Urge to reorganise filing cabinets... rising! Must... fight... nnnnnngh!
... hello, viewer. Thank you for visiting us. Here are some games you might enjoy on this Friday, which is not special at all. Please remember to wipe your feet and use your indoor voice. Proceed in a calm and orderly manner. Have you seen my stapler? I believe I have misplaced it.
IheartPanda - I don't get the public infatuation with pandas. They're big and fat but they're still bears, and as such possess all the capabilities (and the desire) to render your face into a fine paste were you to try to rub their tummies. But, okay, assuming you "heart" pandas, would you still want one fired from a cannon at your face? In this little physics puzzle, you do just that; launch pink pandas at sad people, and the end result is hugs rather than maulings.
I Wish, I Wish - Prologue - I'm just old enough that I grew up with Joust (AKA the best game EVER) rather than Pong, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate this fast-paced update of the classic. I'm not entirely sure what's going on, but it involves four paddles, a bunch of power ups, and the ability to make you seriously twitchy for a while. So basically it's just your average college hazing ritual, without the incriminating photos afterwards and the inability to look your friends in the eye.
Fantastic Contraption 2 - As every craft teacher who ever had the misfortune to try to teach me something during my formative years will tell you, I am bad at making things. So while all the rest of you were off being creative flowers with the original Fantastic Contraption, I was avoiding it because I knew anything I tried to make would simply be a lurching, malformed and malfunctioning monstrosity that cursed me for bringing it into existence. Now, you can do it all again in Fantastic Contraption 2, only this time, you're going to have to pay for the whole package. You can play twenty levels for free, but to play the rest, as well as any other players have made, and create your own, you'll have to buy access for fifteen dollars.
Unnatural Selection - [WARNING: Not safe for children.] I sort of wish I had recorded my initial reaction to this creepy-crawly simulation game when I found it in the submission box this morning. It was something like, "Oh, look, it's a game from those wonderful people who love the moon over at Rather Good! Let's see what this is... It's about... hmmm. And what's in the corner over th... oh. Oh, no. Oh no! Euuuuugh, gwaaaaah, what's... who does that?!" And now I'm sharing it with you! Place your worms in different locations and try to uncover all 16 possible evolutionary forms. Thanks guys, that was special to have before my coffee. I love you, Rather Good. Never change. <3
Ninja or Nun 2 - It is a well known fact that ninja and nuns are equally deadly, but it is somewhat lesser known that they enjoy congregating en masse and offer medals based on speed to those that can tell them apart. Once you've trained your eye to look for certain facial characteristics the game becomes pretty easy, but it's still cute as a button.
Cool games, :) i'mma play them all now.
I only have 11 of 16 unnaturals. darnit.
Unnatural is pretty interesting ! But I've only managed to get 14/16. Must keep trying hard !
I got 12...
Some of them die so quickly, it's like a 4-step process to find a new species!
Yay! 14!
I've only found 12/16, and one was random that I can't duplicate :P
Gah, 15/16, cant get that last one!!
Got all the evolutions:
1.
Maggot
Spawns from the midden heap in the upper-left corner.
2.
Worm
Place a maggot in the lower-left corner.
3.
Slug
Place a maggot in the lower-right corner.
4.
Flying creature
Place a slug in the pool in the upper-right corner.
5.
Spindly creature
Place a worm in the lower-right corner.
6.
Scorpion creature
Let a spindly creature roam around for long enough.
7.
Carnivorous worm
Place a worm on the midden heap in the upper-left corner.
8.
Aquatic carnivorous worm
Place a carnivorous worm in the pool in the upper-right corner.
9.
Bloated carnivorous worm
Feed a carnivorous worm enough of any other creature.
10.
Beetles
Feed a bloated carnivorous worm enough of any other creature.
11.
Armored slug
Prevent a bloated carnivorous worm from eating enough other creatures to change from it for long enough.
12.
Aquatic worm
Place a worm in the pool in the upper-right corner.
13.
Salamander
Feed an aquatic worm enough of any other creature.
14.
Alligator
Pick up and move a salamander.
15.
Corrupted bloated carnivorous worm
Let a bloated carnivorous worm get stung by a scorpion creature.
16.
Corrupted beetles
Feed a corrupted bloated carnivorous worm enough of any other creature.
Unnatural Selection walkthrough, in no particular order. If you need a certain stage to get a creature, it's required form is in the previous step.
1
You start with worms
2
After you use enough worms, maggots will come out of carcass. To get more worms, put maggots in lower left corner.
3
put worm in dirt, get fuzzy beetle
4
let fuzzy beetle walk around, get scorpion
5
put worm in carcass, get pincher-worm
6
put pincher-worm in water, get fish-pincher
7
feed pincher-worm maggots or worms, get fat pincher-worm
8
feed fat pincher-worm maggots or worms, get spiders
9
let scorpion attack fat pincher-worm, fat pincher-worm turns black
10
feed fat black pincher-worm maggots or worms, get black spiders
11
DON'T feed fat black pincher-worm, it turns into big scaly worm-thing
12
put worm in water, get leech
13
feed maggots to leech, get gecko
14
pick up and drop gecko, get alligator
15
put maggot in dirt, get larvae
16
put larvae in water, get bird-thing
@Night Stryke, you just beat me!!! :P
Got all the evolutions too.
14/16, curiousity demands i find the other two
but my stomach tells me to close the window.
What to do...what to do...
Those last two evos were kind of disappointing. (Sorry, Shadowed Light.)
eh, pressed enter too fast.
the ecology is a little misleading
an evo that spawns later is actually the lowest on the food chain, not the ones you start with.
I was not a fan of Unnatural Selection. The graphics were good, and the gameplay was interesting, but it was missing the all important feature of a bestiary. I have no idea what some of the creatures I made look like as a result, and, when part of the whole point of the game is the eye candy, that's a major weakness.
"Not for children"? I didn't have the sound effects on last night, but it looked like something my ten-year-old would love. Who would love this MORE than little boys?!?
Jay is zenith9981 "advertising" another site?
He/she was, and I spammed it. I also spammed an earlier comment that didn't get published; looks like I missed that one. Thanks, AbstractCloud! I now pronounce you Ruler of the Internets for one day.
baileydonk:
It's not so much this game as the site it's on. Some of the other games listed are definitely not kidsafe/kid-friendly.
I wondered the same thing at first.
To quote TV Tropes, Unnatural Selection is pure Nightmare Fuel.
From the intro:
"They're big and fat but they're still bears, and as such possess all the capabilities (and the desire) to render your face into a fine paste were you to try to rub their tummies."
From Wikipedia.org:
"Though it belongs to the order Carnivora, the Giant Panda's diet is 99% bamboo. Other parts of its diet include honey, eggs, fish, yams, shrub leaves, oranges, and bananas when available. ...Though the Giant Panda is often assumed to be docile, it has been known to attack humans, presumably out of irritation rather than predation."
So, I don't know that I'd say a panda would *desire* to turn your face into paste; rather, I think it would do so out of territorial instinct and annoyance, and would back off after you backed off. Now, a brown bear I *know* desires to turn you into kibble the minute he sees you, because you're silly enough to be in viewing distance and because you look like you taste good.
Since nobody else had commented on the panda bit, I thought I had to be the designated nerdling and bring it up.
I dare say the SpongMonkeys are not safe for anyone. :P
i dont know what it is about shooting pandas at unhappy people that i find so fun.
Fantastic Contraption 2, the game where you get an award for unattractiveness! The first was Fantastic, besides. So is this.
Ninja or Nun was a cute little diversion that I tired of a bit too quickly, though I wonder now when I've passed by a congregation of nuns, and was actually passing a congregation of ninjas. Hiding in plain sight, you know. Sneaky little buggers.
It took me a while to discover that the aquatic worms in Unatural Selection were carnivorous leeches. I still, though, have yet to discover why this isn't safe for children. I mean, those creatures are so gosh darned adorable ! Don't you just want to hug one? *picks up bloated worm* Here, wanna pet it? Should I take that screaming as a yes?
you always had to pay for fantastic contraption tradgically
As a little boy, I was fascinated with staplers. One day I decided to staple my two fingers together and wished I never had.
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