What did someone ask you to do today? Pick up your socks? File a report? Stop opening other people's lunches in the company fridge, taking a single bite, and then carefully re-wrapping it all? The nerve of some people! If you wish that once, just once someone would ask you to do something completely ridiculous, then you have come to the right place. For here we have for you, helicopters that need to be used to perform acrobatics, flaming ropes that need to be drug around by minors, and so much more. Because weird is fun. That's our story and we're sticking to it!
onFire - Today's Girl Guides and Cub Scouts work hard to help little old ladies cross the street and provide us with cookies we'll eat in the middle of the night straight out of the box. But do any of these fine young boys and girls know the fine art of dragging a lit rope through highly flammable grass to light a campfire? Use your [arrow] or [WASD] keys to keep this incredibly dangerous tradition alive for a new generation!
Water Werks - It's summertime, and yours thoughts have turned to the great outdoors. Ice cream, frisbees, physics water puzzles with goggle-eyed little rolling monsters. Oh! The memories. Maybe you should make some new memories to cherish, by using the cursor to point your nozzle, and clicking the left mouse button to manipulate the environment to guide the little critters into the gaping maw at the end of each level! No, no, it's cool. They want you to do it! Probably.
The Last Mech Druid - If Jean Claude Van Damme was ever hired by Greenpeace to make a movie about saving the environment, it would probably look a lot like this, only with more glistening pectorals. One would think that using enough heavy weapons to ignite an entire rainforest to protect a single tree would be problematic but I guess that's why you're the Mech-Druid and we're not. So get out there and upgrade your way to peace with guns, lightning, fire, and... dragon talents? Whoah.
Sparks and Dust - This game is about... uhhh... hm. Well, there's some guys with eagle heads and hatchets over there. Maybe you should dive-jump them? You know, so they'll drop some glowing stuff? And then you could... pick it up? And some coins? Man, I don't know. Now's not a good time. I dropped my keys here three hours ago and I still haven't found them. Stupid mist.
Party Boat - They said we weren't cool enough for this party, but once we promised to hire a helicopter for you to use the [arrow] keys to perform amazing acrobatics for them, it was totally okay! Well, they did say they were going to be shooting things at you. But we told them you were cool with that. You are cool, right? Hey, if you die, can we have your WHAM! CDs?
Played some of "The Last Mech Druid" and "Sparks and Dust" and I really liked both of them. They are both very unique and seem like great candidates for full reviews. Why didn't they make the cut?
Hi Peelz. There are a lot of reasons why one game or another didn't get a full review. I don't want to pick on any specific game here, because I did enjoy both of them. But if a game is fun but doesn't get a review, chances are it's because it lacks direction, or is too similar to another game already posted. I hope that isn't too vague. I already have a lot of medals from the Vaguelympics.
I'm pretty sure that JCVD was a gun-toting EPA member in at least two movies. Unfortunately, the Cracked article I read is not accessible, and all his movies have the same generic name, so I can't figure out which is which on IMDB.
Dora:
Yeah, I understand what you mean, and I'm sure that I'm just not familiar enough with the qualifications that you look for in reviewable games.
Now that you made me think of it, Sparks and Dust could really use a storyline, or at least an explanation about why you are dashing about in a misty ladscape, divebombing eagle-headed creatures.
Anyway, thanks for the response!
The Last Mech Druid was really fun.
Only thing I found was that:
The boss on the last level was undefeatable, even if you maxed out all the stages (so were using the Phoenix ability).
He just killed to too quickly, without leaving time to regenerate focus.
My winning strategy on The Last Mech-Druid:
Buy Life talents up to Entanglers-don't buy Steal Life. That preserves Entanglers as the default weapon for the Life talent. Also buy Shock talents all the way up to Lightning Bolt, going through Electromagnet.
At the end of each level, leave a few enemies alive, especially those that give you Life and Shock essences. Pile them up on one of the defensive structures at the corners of the map, then use Entanglers on them. When the last one goes down, immediately switch to Shock to scoop up the goodies.
When you reach the final boss fight, just use Shock all over the place. Lightning Bolt is a powerful weapon and will take out both the baddies and the boss without difficulty.
The Last Mech Druid:
BUGGY! I wish I hadn't played this game.
I couldn't buy the gatling gun, even on the HotAirRaccoon site itself.
It also told me on the Buy Supplies page that I hadn't bought the Crossbow or the Missile Launcher.
And the reason why I wish I hadn't played: RIGHT AFTER day 21, a popup caused the page to reload. That's fine, I'll just continue.
OH, my saved progress is COMPLETELY GONE? Awesome.
I think it's hilarious that these guys have a whole page on their site about hiring them to do flash work. If this is the quality of their work, I would never hire them.
Peter's winning strategy is ridiculous; I got over 14,000 experience for day 21. I had so much ammo, it wouldn't appear on the screen.
Yeah. This is my first time doing it from the beginning of the game, and you're right-it's pathetically easy. I just passed level 22 and all my stats are maxed-I have 14,742 XP and nothing to spend 'em on.
Pro tip: Letting the player farm as much XP and materiel as they can will completely throw away your game's balance.
Actually, the real problem is with the "ruins" at the corners of the map. They're useless for holing up against the mutants, since they can easily get inside if they have the right angle.
My first thought is to completely fortify them, but remove your ability to shoot from them (basically, make each one a giant upside-down wok you can hide under). The problem with this is that you can't stand there and run Life for very long, or you'll have so many mutants piled up on all sides that you can't exit without dying from collision damage.
So you need a way to teleport to a different set of ruins. That swings the balance back the other way: You could teleport to the opposite side or opposite corner, then again and again until you have a single, giant roving pile of mutants you can repeatedly Entangle while running. Not as easy as the current game, but still too easy.
So here's my proposal: Make it a one-time time-delayed teleport to a random other ruin. During the delay, monsters continue to advance on the ruin you entered, and you can take on any form you want (most useful would be Life), but you can't use any weapons of any kind. This gives you a chance to heal up, but not to abuse Entangle.
I'm not sure why I said "one-time" there. Let's pretend I didn't. "Make it a time-delayed teleport to a random other ruin."
Well that was fun. I got to Day 31, fought for a while, and then the screen faded out like the end of a day. Then it went back to ... Day 31 again! Only this time no boss, and I was invincible because I had -100 health! There was what might have been the remains of the boss (just a health bar) stuck in one section and after a while I killed everyone and then nothing.
I'm guessing that's not how it was supposed to end, was it?
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