Link Dump Friday №120
We can all agree that arcades are pretty awesome. An arcade is the only place where you can pay two dollars to play a rigged crane game to not win a stuffed Scooby-Doo toy painted green and called "Ralfie-Roo" to avoid copyright infringement. And when you're hungry, why, stop by the vending machines for some chips made by a brand you've never heard of that may have been refilled as early as six years ago! Oh boy oh boy oh boy! You should be at one right now!... or come to think of it, I guess you could stay here with us and play these games that evoke all the style, fun, and difficulty of an arcade game from your computer chair. Yeah, that would be pretty sweet, too.
- Plant Pong - When our robotic overlords rise up and clamp our tender flesh in the cold metallic pincers of slavery and iron-fisted oppression, and least we'll have beautiful gardens to look longingly at while we toil in the factories. Of course, they'll force us to fling drops of water around the screen using physics and blind luck to grow the flowers first, but hey. Flowers is flowers, yo.
- Yan Loong Legend 2 - When you first load this side-scrolling hack-and-slash fighter, the incredible music will make you close your eyes and imagine you're Bruce Lee (or Chun Li) on a mountaintop somewhere, balancing on a post against the setting sun while David Carradine plays the flute. And then you'll have to reload because of all the swords that pierced your flesh while you had your eyes closed. Who closes their eyes while playing a game anyway? You're silly.
- vel.shock() - If there is one thing we here at JiG love, it's blowing things up. And if you can reflect enemy fire back to make them blow themselves up? Well, that's a pretty sweet fruit right there, mon ami. Since neither this game nor the one it was based off of require you to use your own bullets, you can get back to building that bullet throne once you're done playing. We know you have one.
- Puristic Rotation - Story? We don't need no steenkin' story! All we need is an endless supply of bullets and baddies are we are good to go go go in this shooter! Besides, now you can make up your own plot! You'll never take over Earth's supply of Reese's Peanut Butter cups, Doctor Octopus! Not when the casts of Serenity and Buffy the Vampire Slayer are here to stop you!
- Balloon Headed Boy - If this game had been released thirty years ago, we would have all been watching John Travolta in a whimsical fantasy comedy about a charming young lad who used the inflation powers of his pink head to float about a colourful landscape. That would have been much less depressing. Where were you when we needed you most, Balloon Headed Boy? Just where the heck were you! ? *sob*