Big Block Games gives rise to a whole new kind of carnage in the physics-based action game Goblin War Machine, a snarky, silly little rampage that puts you in control of a group of goblins who have had quite enough of human superiority and decide to do something about it. "Something" being, of course, building a massive, destructive machine out of spare parts and rolling through the countryside with it, crushing entire armies and villagers beneath its wheels as the populace shrieks and flees in terror. Haha, yes! YES! How do you like me now, human scum?! HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW??
Control your war machine with the [WASD] or [arrow] keys, and aim and shoot your "shooty thing" with the mouse. ([F] flips your vehicle rightside up if you tip over, and [R] reloads the level.) Your goal is simply to roll from one end of the stage to the other, causing as much damage to the surroundings and its population as possible, while sustaining as few casualties of your own as you can. Earn points and skulls to spend on upgrades between stages, like the much sought after "big shooty thing". You won't encounter much resistance initially, but as levels progress, humans will start bringing out more and more obstacles, beginning with simple spear throwers and advancing to more elaborate forms of defense. Be careful; you're not indestructible. Each hit you sustain from an enemy kills one of the goblins running the machine; you can see how many are left by the little icons at the bottom of the screen. When the last goblin is taken out, your machine won't have anyone to handle it, and it'll simply fall to pieces.
As endearingly snarky as the whole experience is, wrapped up in a nice shadowy aesthetic, it isn't without its issues. The physics can be frustrating to the point where manually righting yourself after a flip is nearly impossible compared to how easily the terrain will tip you over if you're not careful. Enemy AI isn't particularly clever, often allowing you to hang back and pick soldiers off at a distance without reaction, or getting safely stuck behind indestructible debris where they can fill you full of holes as you pass. But still, when you're roaring along the landscape after a few upgrades crushing livestock and armies beneath your wheels while you blast towers to smithereens and send the royalty hurtling through the air, it's hard not to have a good time and let out a maniacal cackle or two. Maybe the next time you thrash a weak little monster you'll think twice about gloating; after all, he might be rounding up five hundred of his closest buddies with engineering degrees to pay your house a little visit.
Walkthrough Guide
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Fully upgraded and all achievements unlocked. This is a great fun game :)
I'm not sure what all the achievements are but the last one I got was
mid-air hit... I killed a bird but think it was triggered by the fact I wasn't touching the ground at the time
Also, the best level I found to grind was
level 14
Posted by: Syntax
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January 27, 2011 5:39 PM