Hey, you! Girly-man! (Or, uh, girl.) Are you a 98 pound weakling? Are you sick of people kicking sand in your face at the beach and other such typical 1950's bullying techniques? Then maybe you need to let Boss Rush! from Paper Dino Software PUMP YOU UP. It's a clever twist on the classic arcade space shooter that puts you in control of the screen-dominating, unreasonably laser-charged boss ship for a change. After completing a few missions, nobody will ever accuse you of being a weakling again. *flexes* NNNNGH!oh, ow, ow, charley horse!!
The game is played out across multiple stages and different ships, each with their own set of challenging missions to play. Once you learn the ropes of flying your massive Death Star wannabe, you'll be given objectives such as shooting down rebel forces within a time limit, or surviving an onslaught long enough for your forces to escape. Move with [WASD] and use the left mouse button to fire, tapping , , , or  to ready one of your special attacks. Too easy? Well, then, try the level on another difficulty such as hard. Or, if you think you're boss enough... Sparta difficulty. (Giant elephants and unreasonable body jewelry not included.) The game also offers a versus mode, where you can rope your favourite schlub into playing the tiny hero fighter... provided you have someone on hand to sit at the same keyboard, since the game unfortunately lacks multiplayer.
Boss Rush! is a clever concept, and loads of fun; don't deny that you've always secretly wanted to be behind the controls of something that vomits a ridiculous amount of fire across a large area at the touch of a button. While the controls themselves feel a little awkward, you are in control of one of the big baddies, which are kind of notoriously unwieldy. A fair number of the missions are challenging, but none of them are terribly inspired, with the requirements typically being merely to survive or blow something up within a given time frame. The ultra simple graphics get the job done, but are also a bit bland. With a complete retro paintjob, full of tiny detailed pixel explosions, Boss Rush! would have been a joy to behold. As it stands, the game is new and fun in that cackling madman sort of way. Which, I think we can all agree, is the best way.