as if!

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as if!

Check out the Casual Gameplay Design Competition #7 announcement for details.


its almost as if he is trying to tease us...


"What if..." "As if!"
Maybe the next teaser is "No, really!"
Can't wait!

Also, Jay and Co., if you see this, the Sign In page will not let me sign in, even though I'm 100% sure I put in my correct Username/Password. It might be related to the fact I can't get on the Comcast sign-in page.

[Edit: A common problem is that visitors forget their username and try to login with their display name instead. Your username, Reece, is not the same as your display name. Does the hint "6" help? If not, send an email to our contact address and I'll help you via email. -Jay]


I see there is an "if" theme going on here..

The Great Dane November 5, 2009 7:21 PM

If I wasn't so tired I'd find something funny to comment.

As if I had any humour. :D


*groan* not again...


I just smell a contest. I hope. Or, maybe a JIG Staff made game...? Hmm.

Or a movie deal! Sure! That'd be amazing! I have no thoughts on a plot, though...

Fuzzyevil November 5, 2009 7:30 PM

If. If. If. If if if. IIIIIIFFFFFFFFF.

I'm not seeing it.


Ok, I'm throwing my vote in for Interactive Fiction, as some people mentioned before.


As if! Walkthrough

1: Read banner

2: Read comments

3: Post comment(s)

4: Wait until November 16th

atomic1fire November 5, 2009 7:45 PM

you forgot

Ponder until then


I read the banner out loud and scoffed.
As if!


Meme wins +100 stars.

Is everyone excited? I am excited! If only we knew what for.

Dan Someone November 5, 2009 8:04 PM

Too easy, too short. I prefer these sorts of games to have a little more meat to them. Also,

I never had to use the exclamation point.

Anonymous November 5, 2009 8:23 PM

"if" could be for interactive fiction?

Jason Harper November 5, 2009 8:24 PM

"AS IF" obviously refers to Interactive Fiction implemented in ActionScriot. Which would seem to be a step backwards from the current CGDC's policy of allowing any browser-embeddable game development technology...

aktoaster November 5, 2009 8:25 PM

Ok, I have the

valley girl, the jelly bracelets and the yellow stirrup pants,

but I still have no idea how to use the

crimping iron.

Any help?


I can't find the


I looked in the

Kitchen but it wasn't there.

I think I need to play

Hot cross buns to open the lock

Help please?

Roseate Spoonbill November 5, 2009 8:39 PM


use the jelly bracelet on the valley girl. She should die, giving you Valley Girl Skull. Once you have found the other three valley girls, use the bracelets on them to kill them and you will then have four valley girl skulls. Use the valley girl skulls on the rocket ship to fuel it up.


put on the stirrup pants


use crimping iron on hair

after you do two two things, then

talk to "hot guy" and he will date you.

I hope that helps!

Kaitlyn Levy November 5, 2009 8:51 PM

as if!


Thanks, Jay.

Anyways, I'm stuck right at the beginning! I

Got the camera online

But I don't know how to

Control the car!


hmmm... smells like an ARG, but I wonder what it will taste like...


For me, I needed to

play Alban Berg's Piano Sonata, Op.1. Is it different for everybody?

bjohndick November 5, 2009 9:55 PM

what if i didn't leave a comment?

lumbahjack November 5, 2009 9:57 PM

Following orders.


yay for suspense

Offriender November 5, 2009 10:31 PM

Hint: Don't buy the boots of levitation. They look nice but actually make the flying minigames harder.


this is going to torture me until i know what it is, but it may be exactly what you want, so good job if that what you want.
so all i am going to say is this is driving me crazy until you tell me what this is about.
Crazy i say, CRAZY.


Well, the teaser tag is there, but this post isn't under it...


HHHMMM, I love the word If, if this if that? I did however find some acronyms:

ASIF Asociación de la Industria Fotovoltaica
ASIF Association for the Study of Internal Fixation
ASIF Ankylosing Spondylitis International Federation
ASIF Aviation Security Infrastructure Fee
ASIF Aviation Systems Integration Facility (US Army)
ASIF Airlift Support Industrial Fund (US DoD)
ASIF Airlift Services Industrial Fund
ASIF American Society for Internal Fixation
ASIF Associazione Svizzera Informatori Farmaceutica

What if November 16th is the release of the game that will brainwash us into a coma of never ending game play................. AS IF....

zbeeblebrox November 5, 2009 10:58 PM

Okay, the previous one was manageable, but this one is tough. So far I've:

checked to make sure my electricity bill was paid up
turned on my computer
turned on my monitor
connected to the internet

And I've managed to find:

A web browser, which I used to navigate to Jayisgames
This article
A blue square with a symbol in it

And hints for what the next step is? I'm trying not to use the walkthrough, but I'm at a dead end right now.


As if!...... Your Face!


These constant teasers devoid of content make visiting this site less pleasant. We already know there's a competition starting on the 16th. We already know the word or letters "if" have something do with it. You could post one of these a day, pushing out all other JiG content, and it wouldn't make me any more excited for the competition. Try actually telling us something next time, or don't waste our time.

Are you going to start doing this for every Casual Gameplay event? Because if posts like these become a regular thing, I would seriously consider going somewhere else for games.


The suspense is killing me over here!!! *choke choke* *die* When's this thing gonna come out???


Game won't load for me. Using Firefox on a W7 64bit OS. Won't load in IE either.


Here's a comment. Indifference.


So, I'm stuck on level 2... I managed to beat level 1 but I had to look at the walkthru, and now I'm here... this whole waiting for november 16th thing, I just can't figure it out...


what if....cgdc if!

That looks pretty straight forward to me.


Now I'm starting to feel that on November 16th the banner is just going to say "Hahaha suckers!"

Or I'm beginning to agree with the IF bandwagon, and really hoping that's not the case. I like IF and all, but not so much at once.


*Clueless flashback*



For the ones not believing that

something with GDC7 is coming on November 16th

(the announcement)

Look here

the description of the teaser blogs.


Well blow me down and call me Twinky, slap my thigh because my name's not Shirly.

This was a toughie... somehow though, I got a feeling of deja vu, like I'd done this game before, just under a different name.. .. .. ..


just in case


I love how complainy some people get whenever you post one of these. "The precious time I wasted reading these two words! Valuable posting space that could have been used for a game! How dare you Jay!"

As for the teaser, I'm kind of hoping "as if" means that the CDGC7 teaser was a hoax. Not that I don't like CDGC, but I was hoping it would be something totally new.


Still waiting. Long game. :P


This one was trickier...

A - 1
S - 19
I - 9
F - 6
! - 1


La Dama Duende November 6, 2009 3:55 AM

I'm curious...


Ha ha ha. Flushing out the community spirit with this one.


I'm stuck!! Help please!1!!

I retrieved the

set of left-handed screwdrivers

from the

cupboard next to the bed

But how do I get the

chandelier from the ceiling

without hitting

Lionel Richie

with it?


Interactive fiction?

Patreon VIP Chiktionary November 6, 2009 6:44 AM

Bring on 11/16.


Well, I'm stumped. I've already

placed the metal ball in the dog statue's mouth so that it would stop biting me when I try to take the crystal bone that's balancing on it's nose

as well as

found and put on the cross-dimensional sunglasses

but U have no idea what to do with

the Chronoscepter and Boombox of the Elements

Any help?

orangeall November 6, 2009 8:08 AM

hey guys, i found the

keyboard with no letters on the keys

i look at the cupboard and get the clue:

"press [on] button", which i think it may useful to the computer

and i think the interpretation of ASIF! has some error, it should be

A - 1
S - 19
I - 9(or 09)
F - 6
! - 1
well this part is correct, but the next step is

A should included in every step(the book said it!)
A+S=20 THEN +I =2009
as A is same as !, which means 11
again, A~1 and the one left out is F, which means16

which means 2009 11 16

but i don't know the next step though, i think the walkthrough has something missing~"~...


Is this true? Is this 2009? If so I will make sure I allocate time for 16 Nov.

lime_green November 6, 2009 9:46 AM

I've confused myself...


Oh the suspense is killing me.....


I'd like to know what the Mayans may have had to do with this.


how are some people playing it? or is the valley girl a figment of their imagination?



Obviously it's fake. We're just making these things up :P


it's not [email protected][email protected]"
you should keep clicking on the banner, there is a little spot that can link to the game.



I'm confused...


Ah!.... If you use

the cloth with holes in (the blue one that the invisible tribal wizard drops when he leaves on the vespa NOT the green one that grows on the chocolate tree)


the right angled triangle


right angled genie appears

You can then

ask him to move you to the mountain (I was trying to move the mountain to me at first)

I still have no clue what to do with

the 2 remaining right angled wishes

or the

thing that goes uuurrrggghhh in the night

though I suspect the latter will be to

scare the traffic warden away

though no matter where I click I can't seem to get it to work.... Am I missing something?


What if... JIG stops?
Wha! As if!

What if... this year's best game will show up?
Wha! As if!

What if... A whole new editor joins JIG?
Wha! As if!

What if...
As if...
Could be! Let's wait for November 16 :)

-=MarkR=- November 6, 2009 1:32 PM

November 16... That's, that's ... wha!... It's almost a crime to let us wait that long!

Even the wii fit zen game lasts only three minutes! Even running a marathon takes only 5 hours (or less)! Even daylight lasts only for about 10 hours! Even a full earth rotation takes 1 day! Even a week at work takes 5 days! Even... even...

Ah well... Just 10 days left. And counting...


If it is CGDC 7, I'm surprised they'd launch it so soon after the current one.


The first one was What if..., the second one was CGDC 7 and this one is as if!! I get it! Just use the

What if... on the as if!, so it makes an It is!!!

and the

CGDC 7 on the It is!!!

Now you have won!



Use the chronogem on the thing thats goes uggg in the night. You then have to do an impossibly hard action boss fight with the thing.

Alan Smithee November 6, 2009 4:42 PM

But how do I get past the tiger guards?


What could it be!?:o




How many boards would the mongols hoard if the mongol horde got bored?

joeykendo November 6, 2009 8:01 PM

none, because they are wondering the question that is What if... is better than As if...

theirbrains... November 6, 2009 10:22 PM

my mac's got a application called "time machine", lets see what it does...

Drat! system failure!

It seems... that JIG... has hacked... my computer!



It wasn't hacked. Macs don't have a "go forward" function for it's time machine program. No computer system outside of Japan does

November 16 November 7, 2009 9:55 AM

I'm almost here.



managed to free my mind from the evil mind-controlling duck, using the

Common Sense

Then I found

Head Quack, and I

gave him the breadcrumbs

After that, you need to

use super duck power of Flight and Fly to

Gorgonzola Inc.

I'm now stuck at

ridiculously tiny safe spot inside the cheese factory, waiting for

Tiny Cheeseman No.1.0 to put down his cheesegun

When he does, I

run out to hit him with my PIW (Pathetically Inferior Weapon) but when I do, he just immediately

guards the button-which-will-somehow-save-the-world!

What do I do now?


A rather 'iffy' situation...


oh, ok.


I can't defeat the EAAS! (Evil Annoying Advertisement Squad)!

Please help!

Super Twichy November 7, 2009 6:24 PM

NOOOOOOooooooo....... More waiting! Your killing me Jay!


Actually, it's that pack of wild Razorback Weasels coming up from behind you at mach 3 that's going to kill you

Anonymouse November 8, 2009 12:22 AM

Soo many teasers. >.<


Oh, and Holly:

If you haven't used the chronogem on the thing that goes urrrrghhhh in the night, do that now, defeat him, and get the Holy Condiment of Delicious-Tasty-Awesomeness.


Put that on Jim's sandwich, which will turn him in to a dinosaur.

Then take Jimosaurus to Lionel Richie, he will freak out and run away, then drop the chandalier and grab the ASW (Amazing stupendous Weapon) and Give it to the right angled genie who will give you ONE ACUTE WISH

After that, Combine your Whistle with the Wish, and you'll get a magic Kazoo, and blow that next to the guard, he'll decide to go for a swim with his 'sharky-warky friends' then smash the button with either the magic hammer, your hand or the Jimosaurus for different endings!

Hope it helped!

Cutler Sheridan November 8, 2009 4:05 PM

Successfully excited me.

bluecanary November 8, 2009 4:28 PM

Another one! November sure is a pretty busy month...


Okay, This has gone far enough.

Someone needs to actually make "The Wondrous Aventures of Stupendous Awesomeness, featuring ValleyGirl" now. Like, seriously.


1 week left and lexis is right this has gone far enogh.


rawr, can't wait for the game :3 or whatever this is!


Well, I am thoroughly confused.


hey guys, i got past the

visciously brown monkey

and then

used his tail as a crank to power the rocket

but now im stuck with

the genie, who's triangle i broke



Ugh, AGAIN!? But... as if! what?


Quite a sequel. I can't wait for And If


Well, I found the
Jar of Red smoke
And I was able to defeat
The King Platypus
But I don't know how to get past
The Door of Fire and Anger
Maybe I should try using the
Rune of floods and Peace
As if that would do anything

Enzo Aprile March 1, 2010 9:08 PM

I feel SO bad for missing the "what if" game... oh well. Let's see what does "as if" look like.


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