Vampire or something? Because she ended up in the hospital and they were talking about her veins and... yeah, it just seemed like it.

The hospital ending was a big hint, I know, but I can't place exactly what the heck is going on.

doing everything you can to be happier with her and 'closer to her.' There's one ending that makes it pretty apparent what's really happening. If you really want to know what (I think) is going on, I'll talk about it in the next spoiler.

This works as a metaphor for addiction and dependency, particularly drugs. If you play through keeping in mind that she is 'drugs,' and being with her is being under the influence, it suddenly becomes pretty easy to see the analogy.

I think the choice of metaphor is really interesting. By using a relationship, Benito set things up to where we don't necessarily reject the dependency right away. If it had said up front, 'this is about drugs,' it would be obvious which way to go for the good ending. But being overly dependent on a relationship isn't always seen as a bad thing, so it leaves things up in the air long enough for you to undergo a process of discovery.

hospital scene. It happens after when they make love, I think, but why?

you talk about staying like this forever, that you won't be happy or sad, and it seems like an all around neutral ending.

You ask her to leave, she gets uninvolved in your life, and you look forward to starting anew.

Go on a walk
Stop and wait
Go back to the house
Thinking about us
Do you like me?
I don't think I am a nice person
Get Closer

Addiction is one of the hardest things to deal with in fiction. To an outside observer, it seems obvious: "Just stop! Your addiction is bad." It's apparent to everyone but the addict and therefore difficult to develop a connection.

By portraying a drug addiction as a seemingly innocent relationship with a cute character, gamers will instrictively want to defend and protect the relationship in the same way an addict does. Even when the relationship takes a dark turn, most gamers will probably seek to repair it in order to "win the game".

It's a fairly brilliant approach to the subject matter if you ask me, even if the game could have been fleshed out a bit more.

Stay in. Make wimpy, keep this relationship alive decisions..then decide to get closer to her

she's a ghost. At least, that's what I'm getting out of this. She has static lines across her at times, as though she's becoming less real. When you try to get closer to her, you make a suicide attempt and end up in the hospital.

Get Closer? Hmm... This is hardly ambivalent.

Let's do that.

Click.

Veins? Arteries?

he ended up in the hospital, it took me a while to figure out what was going on, then it hit me: "Holy Crap, she's a drug!"

"Wrapped around [his] left arm?" A tourniquet. All this talking like he's co-dependant? An addict. Egads, in hindsight it's brilliant! The portrayal of drugs as a beautiful woman?!

"Ever since I met her, she wrapped herself around my arm..." "Let's stay home together, just the two of us" "Am I realy happy with her?" ""She seems to magicaly appeare every time I'm lonely" "I'm here becouse you need me." "It was hard to stop my hands shaking."

depression, or a 'dark side', rather than drugs? The nurse seems to be referring more to a suicide attempt than an accidental overdose.

self-mutilation/"cutting" just as easily as drugs.

The couple are in an abusive relationship. She is the abuser, he is the victim. She talks about how she "does" everything for him and how he'd never manage to do anything without his help. She seems abnormally controlling of his every action and expects him to take the blame for all issues in the relationship. These are typical behaviors of abusers.

Domestic abuse is commonly portrayed in media as male on female, but female on male abuse is much less reported.

The guy is a heroin addict. Most if not all heroin addicts shoot up in their left arm; he "depends" on her and she makes him feel "happy". Self-mutilation does not make you feel happy; I would know, I have friends that do it. Then, in the hospital ending, he says he's "shaking" before he gets closer to her; this is a reference to the shakes an addict gets when they need their fix. As for the hospital itself, you notice that the nurse only says veins and nerves. Heroin is injected into the arteries, which go straight to the heart and pump the drug to the entire body. If you inject heroin into a vein, it can cause incredible pain and even the loss of that limb.

the bit where he ends up in the hospital, and talks about how he feels better, less under pressure I think.
The game is called air pressure, and for some reason I got the impression that he drilled into his own head. It is actually, though uncommon, something long term drug addicts do sometimes, thinking it'll relieve pressure.

In other words, yes, the game seems to cater most specifically to heroine abuse. However, it has a broader and perhaps more significant reach when we look at it as a metaphor to our addiction to abusive relationships, whether that relationship is with another person, or with a drug, or any other source of addiction.

When we were talking about this amongst ourselves, I didn't see any of the heroine interpretations, and my initial instinct was that it was detailing abusive romantic relationships. Given the gender roles in this game, people may skip over this possibility, but I have known of relationships where the female was both mentally and physically abusive.

So, yes, on a microscopic scale, there are plenty of references to support a specific heroine interpretation. But I think what is more important is that whether it be an abusive spouse, a drug, alcohol, heh, even the internet, the way we find ourselves in this addictive cycle can seem so innocent, but when we finally make that decision to break that cycle, we find it so difficult.

That's where the potency, for me at least, comes from in this game. When you tell her you are going to quit her, the arguments she puts up for not quitting her, those are nearly universal. An abusive spouse, cigarettes, heroine, you tell yourself you won't be quite as good without them as you are with them. That's where the real difficulty comes from in quitting, overcoming these lies.

It seems people here are having trouble piecing together the subtext. It's incredibly, incredibly subtle, so that's understandable. Several have already drawn the conclusion that the character's girlfriend is an addiction. This is accurate. But nobody here has pinpointed the correct addiction yet.

Heroine was a good guess, because of the application of a tourniquet, but with heroine you're trying to hit your artery, not the other way around.

My dad used to work with patients suffering from this particular problem, so I caught on pretty quickly. Specifically: the game is referring to cutting. It usually develops while the cutter is a teen. Cutters tend to focus over time on a specific body part, usually a particular arm. In this case, his left. It usually starts as a response to depression, as a way to "feel something" or "be in control" - all three of those aspects were mentioned at some point in the game as attributes of the girl and why he was with her. And eventually, cutters become very good at making cuts that don't leave lasting marks. Hence the nurse's comment at the end about him being lucky that he didn't hit any arteries, and his thought-response that he's too experienced to ever do that.

As long as you're not specific, the analogy can apply to any addiction, in the broader sense. But where the details are concerned, the game plays more accurately as a metaphor for cutting.

whether the game is depicting self-mutilation or heroin (which seem to be the two theories with the most substantiation), addiction in general or abusive relationships is immaterial to the point or the message. This claim needs some defending, doesn't it?

We'll you've all done a great job for me. The game so clearly had affected a great deal of you, regardless of your awareness of the issues at hand. I know it touched me in ways I was unprepared for, and I knew none of this technical and involved information that has been so generously provided (citations would be nice, guys). And all of you passionately discuss this game despite your lack of consensus. In this way, the game has proven to be accessible to a great deal of people.

If this game were "A Day In The Mind Of A Self-Mutilator/Heroin Addict," wouldn't the author gone out of his way to make that clear to the part of the audience that won't pick up on the more subtle cues?

If the game isn't "A Day In The Life...," what is it?

Well... what is a game?

I like to go with the "series of interesting choices" model. You may remember something about this in the article (interview?) on that game where you are a Dragon? That game that was released for the iPhone? I forget its name now...

Anyway, some choices take the form of "go left, go right" and "jump now, jump later." "Shoot, reload, hide, run" is also a popular model. In this game, you're presented with more personal choices, and in return for making some of those choices, you're presented with some consequences of those choices.

When I put it this way, every game becomes about the consequences of the choices you make. But what this game does is bring the game construct into the context of life as we live it. We don't have a victory chime when we do something "right." We don't have a stock of lives that increments by -1, or a chirpy little tune that reminds us of what it means when we fall off of the screen. Both of the "normal" endings in this game were equally as ambiguous. They leave us only with hopefulness and determination concerning the future.

So I think I've dealt with everything except what to do with what the endings may actually mean. With a "Good End" that is brought about by holding a steadfast desire to be self-sufficient, a "Bad End" that comes from caving into pressures and insecurities, and a "Silence of the Lambs End" that comes from trying valiantly and then failing miserably, the game seems like if it gave any kind of message, it would be polarized in some way. The implications of the endings do serve to cement real consequences in the story, strengthening the immersion and the investment of the player. Beyond that, I have no prescription for you. It's not my place to force one onto you.

If you all want to discuss what the message might be, by all means, go ahead. You won't come to a conclusion because it will mean something different to all of you, as any meaningful work of literature or media will.

Meaningful works tend to present life. That is what is being done here. The rest is left to us, the people on the other side of the medium.

It's not our job to figure out what to take from it. It's to acknowledge that we have taken something from it and proceed.

PS.

The point is, in the end, Leigh is a self-destructive addiction of some kind, and the protagonist is at a crossroads. He can either take the wishy-washy approach, neither succumbing to it nor breaking free of it, he can give into his addiction entirely, or he can kick it.

To be honest, the first time I got the hospital ending, I was under the impression that he had almost committed suicide, though his subsequent dialogue nixed that assumption.

drug use and self harm

the posters above have veins and arteries mixed up - arteries are the spurty ones with a pulse with blood going away from the heart, veins are the bulgy torniquet ones going to the heart. Never inject into an artery, this causes arm/hand/leg/foot damage - Never inject into a vein - This wrecks your life.

I first got the hospital ending, and leading up to it she was kind of fading in and out on the screen, don't know if this is a glitch or purposefuly there, but it made me think of a second personality.

This was hightened when the neutral ending adding a few sentences along the lines of "I have always helped you" and "I will always help you, even if you don't want me to" or something like that.

But after thinking about the hospital ending again with the other dialogue in mind, I realised it was about drug addiction. I re-did the hospital ending and realised that if somebody got closer to their multiple personalities it would probably create a single personality and reduce any problems they have, and would be less likely to attempt suicide.

addiction, whether it be to self-mutilation, drugs, or anything else. The addict may want to end it, but the addiction whispers (metaphorically, of course) "Come on. How far do you think you'll get without me?"

It IS self mutilation. With the evidence from the game, and the veins and arteries, I found out something via Newgrounds.

Bentosmile's game published after that is "Suicide is not the answer" referring to intentionally hurting yourself. I don't think it's suicide, because we know that the girl is definitley not real.

I didn't expect addiction personified to be so gosh-darned adorable!

I am so recommending this "game" to my friend who is an addictions counselor. Wow, just wow, she will love this and probably find a good use for it. It's a great way to explain addiction of any kind. Major kudos to the game developer, excellent job!

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The three endings:

an addiction, or some other specific self-destructive behavior - I guessed it was some kind in general

Huh. I missed the hospital scene and I suck at finding subtext, so to me it was about a delusion (imaginary friend). It still worked very well though.

he attempted suicide

Hospital scene, dependence symbolism, and "attached to my left arm"

I saw ShadowmancerLord say "Self-mutilation does not make you feel happy; I would know, I have friends that do it." Actually, until you've experienced it first hand and HAD reasons for self mutilation, don't try to explain what it does and doesn't make you feel. I have first hand experience with self mutilation, and when you want to escape, it very much does make you happy afterward. Not later, when you notice the cuts or scars or anything, but in the moment. I've literally broken out in laughter after cutting a few times just out of the sheer joy of forgetting what mental pain I was in at the moment. So please, don't try to explain our experiences. I'm not saying it makes EVERYONE who self mutilates happy, but from personal experience and experience in therapy, there is a feeling of joy afterward in a good amount of us.

So this game very much struck me in a deep place... after getting the hospital ending, I just gasped and shivered all over. I can very much relate to it on that kind of level, and I appreciate this kind of delicacy with this sort of situation. It just brought tears to my eyes. I have been through almost all of those endings in real life, but luckily I quit before I could EVER reach a hospital ending. Thank you for posting this game so much.

About the hospital scene...
They were "closer than they'd ever been..."
And then he was in hospital and he's lucky...
He "didn't puncture any veins or arteries..."

WOAH! My take is that SOMETHING happened while they did it...

And what the nurse says might hint that he has a record of doing that but the text said "they were CLOSER THAN THEY'D EVER BEEN" so how can he have a record?

My conclusion is that he's done it to a lot of people.

in the hospital

when he leaves her

depression or self mutilation. You can live with it, never being happy but you never have to face anything. If you push it away, you can be happy. If you get closer, you can embrace it fully and take it to the next level - killing yourself.

she is depression, he uses it to make himself interesting, I.E. dark poets or the 'starving artist' deal, she isn't drugs, because drugs don't usually make you cut close to your important veins. She even says that he can't cope without her, that she helped him deal with everything that's bad. A lot of people tend to use depression as an excuse to be sad, but with willpower we can be free of it, as our protagonist has shown us. if you push her away, he says that he's happy again and that he hopes that a day never comes where he sees her again.

"From the second we met, she wrapped herself around my left arm, and has stuck there ever since."
Most people are right handed, so they inject heroin in their left arm. Get it?
It also explains the hospital ending, when the nurse says that you didn't hit any major nerves or arteries.

why does the girl become blurred before the endings and what is the ending related to the hospital means

I agree with a lot of people in that I think it does have something to do with addiction. The parts about him having shaking hands and interesting details like her attachment to his right arm make it seem like a drug addiction. She seems like a hallucination the way she tends to appear out of nowhere like a ghost.

At the same time, this can also sum up being in a bad relationship and staying, not because you're happy in it, but because you've gotten used to the cycle and are afraid of change at this point. There were times when her character seemed a bit like that as well. As though she was hiding behind excitement to ignore the fact that things weren't working between them. She was so quick to totally forgive him for forgetting their anniversary and seemed to be doing all she could to keep him from feeling negatively toward her. In the first scenario I played through, she went all crazy on me and talked about how I didn't mean it and whatnot, but in the second one, she tried to stop me from breaking up with her a bit, but quietly agreed to breaking up without much conflict. It made it seem like, rather than him just being addicted to her, they were kind of addicted to each other even though neither of them were getting real happiness out of their situation.

I don't think she's a drug because she talks about keeping him honest and making him a better person, which are more of a self mutalation thing. Either way, I thought the story was really well thought out. At first I didn't really get it :P

The nurse says something like "you were lucky you didn't hit a vein or artery" then he says "as if I would be stupid enough to do that". So if it was a suicide attempt then why would he purpously not hit an artery? So no it does not apply to that kind of situattion, please read the text carefully when making these decisions.

cutter, and she's the blade, the pain.. He was happy before her, and now he's numb with her, and he can be happy without her.

Why is she all staticy? Is this a glitch or something?

Veins? Arteries? This is getting so weird...

OH MY GOSH!!! SHE'S DRUGS!!! WHY DIDN'T I CACTH ON TO THIS EARLIER!?

It's a metaphor for cutting/self mutilation. It's his left arm, he did not hit any major arteries or veins... ect. I thought it was pretty clear.

you're also assuming everyone has had the same life experiences to make it that clear. Everyone is familiar with drug abuse to the point where it's a major focus of culture... it's the plotline in TV shows, movies, books, we're warned about it in school, talked to about it by our parents. Self-mutilation? Less so. If you haven't gone through it yourself or don't know someone who has, it's not what you're immediately going to think of when the sorts of imagery and metaphors in this game start popping up.

I think the girl represents self harm/cutting. My first clue was the dialog at the beginning of the game when the narrator says "I met her when I was a teenager. From the second we met, she warped herself around my left arm, and has stuck there ever since." This could be referring to scars left by cutting, since most people who self harm cut their wrists. The next point I'd like to bring up is the ending where you wake up in the hospital. Right before you end up in the hospital the narrator says something along the lines of being relieved that he finally did it. Which is how I used to feel after I would cut myself. When the narrator wakes up in the hospital, the nurse said you were "lucky and didn't hit any nerves or arteries", which makes me think he was cutting. (I know, kind of self explanatory.) Then the nurse asks the narrator "So why did you do it?" The narrator doesn't answer. This is what it's like when someone realizes you're cutting. To them it seems so obvious, "It's bad for you and it hurts you, so just stop doing it!" But it's not that simple. Sometimes you even want to stop but you just can't. Anyway, I could go on and on about this, but then we'd be here all day. Bye.