The Dark Room (YouTube)
To put your mind at ease, you will not be eaten by a grue in The Dark Room, but as you struggle to escape from this fiendish and hilarious YouTube-based puzzler you'll probably meet with a number of other unfortunate ends. Such as accidentally gouging your own eyes out, electrocuting yourself on a light switch, or growing a really unattractive beard. And all the while, you'll have to deal with the taunts of Australian comedian John Robertson, who has some choice words for your promiscuity with walls after you grope in the dark for the light switch. "Now even the walls don't respect you. And they are capable of respect, but not for you. Not anymore."
At the risk of tautology, dark room is dark. You can't look around. You can't check your inventory. You can't go north, or to Southampton. You could try weeping, but that might not get you very far. You can't even see your own tears. It's a dark room. You might try thinking outside of the box, but... "Thinking outside the box would only help if you were inside a box, but you're not, you're here. In The Dark Room."
If you've never played a YouTube game before, the game relies on annotations (pop-up links) to lead you from video to video. Most of the endings require nothing more than a determination to click everything clickable and a sharp eye for hidden annotations, but the "100% Best" ending does require downloading a certain video and performing some basic editing on it, something that is possible to do with freeware you may already have. (Without spoiling too much, the "Best" ending isn't actually that good for you as a character, as you might expect from the sadistic host, so the satisfaction of it is more the sense of accomplishment.)
Robertson made the game as a clever self-advertisement for his comedy shows, and for the most part it functions to advertise himself simply by being wickedly funny. There is one video labeled "sell out" that is an explicit advertisement, giving dates and locations for upcoming shows, but you can certainly just skip that video if you're not interested. The language is fairly salty, and there is described violence, but visually the game isn't offensive, so you'll be alright with headphones on if you have to consider others in the room. The experience is somewhat akin to You Find Yourself in a Room but the antagonist is rather a good old-fashioned human bully, albeit wittier than most. Robertson has also been adding more content, such as a Valentine's Day section, and the "Best" ending promises a sequel, so this is definitely a game to watch. But you can't watch.
Because you're in The Dark Room.
Walkthrough Guide
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The Dark Room Walkthrough (Endings and Easter Eggs)
NB 1: Some endings have more than one possible path. One way is given for each. Also these are not "endings" in the sense of deaths, but in the sense of dead ends or hidden easter eggs.
NB 2: You actually do need to die to get places in this game. The "start over" buttons usually do NOT send you back to the first video, so make sure you click them!
Dead Ends:
Failure 1 Smiley Face:
Dark Room
Go north
Chuck pockets
Weep
Exit
Unplug Computer
No:
Dark Room
Go north
Check pockets
Czech pockets
"Will you ever be kind to me?"
Not in Kansas Anymore:
Dark Room
Turn on light switch
Look for light switch
Find light switch
I see
Touch wall
Touch other wall
Apologize
Smell room
"That doesn't make sense!"
Think outside box
Think outside room
Click heels together 3x
9999:
Dark Room
Turn on light switch
Look for light switch
Find light switch
I see
Touch wall
Touch other wall
Apologize
Smell room
"That doesn't make sense!"
Think outside box
Think outside room
Wank furiously
Is this normal?
Easter Eggs
Liquid Head:
Dark Room
Turn on light switch
Look for light switch
Find light switch
I see
Touch wall
Touch other wall
Blank annotation (on right hand side).
Sadness and Badness:
Dark Room
Turn on light switch
Look for light switch
Find light switch
I see
Touch wall
Touch other wall
Apologize
Smell room
Go west
Go east
Go Southampton!
Blank annotation in lower right corner.
Good Endings:
Error:
Dark Room
Turn on light switch
Look for light switch
Find light switch
I see
Touch wall
Touch other wall
Apologize
Smell room
Kill self
Lean on wall and weep
Start over
Blank annotation (middle of right side).
Alright then ("good" in the sense of "hilarious"):
Dark Room
Turn on light switch
Look for light switch
Find light switch
I see->Touch wall
Touch other wall
Apologize
Smell room
"That doesn't make sense!"
Think outside box
Run into wall
Lean against the wall
Bleed to death
Start over
Pass time
Locate the good ending
Torture
Punch man
Punch man!!
Punch man!!!!
100% Good Ending:
This requires you to download the video "Turn Around Redux", and either reverse the entire video or just the soundtrack. How you reverse it depends on your system, you can use a free editor like Audacity or you might have a program that will do it already on your computer. Listen to it and you'll receive a clue, although the clue actually has an error, and you'll need to capitalize the last letter.
How to get to Turn Around Redux:
Dark Room
Turn on light switch
Look for light switch
Find light switch
I see
Touch wall
Touch other wall
Apologize
Smell room
"That doesn't make sense!"
Think outside box
Run into wall
Lean against the wall
Bleed to death
Start over
Pass time
Dig
Treasure!
Turn around.
Direct link to Turn Around Redux:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkwiUvv0dnA
Direct link to the ending (use only in case of insane need-to-know-itis:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vm85qZPjvVM
Don't forget to watch the credits afterwards!
Thanks, joye, for the walkthrough!
Posted by: Mike | March 1, 2012 11:36 AM