D.O.E.S.

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3.8/5 (65 votes)

Unfair, weird, and even downright crass, this bizarro yet oddly compelling roguelike RPG/puzzle game/fever dream simulator won't appeal to everyone, but still has a strange charm. As the toothy U, explore a deadly dungeon filled with weird monsters and weirder challenges, hunting for five Things.

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21 Comments

silent george January 9, 2015 11:09 AM

I just died from

a rash from rolling in poo.

Reply
Patreon Donator Infant Tyrone January 9, 2015 11:34 AM

I was just killed by

a dancing turd.

Reply
Patreon Crew SonicLover January 9, 2015 12:04 PM

Big piece of advice:

Different monsters require different strategies to defeat efficiently. Some (like the Cigarette) are best defeated with frantic clicking, whereas others (like the TP Troll) are best faced with patience and precise clicks.

Reply
Leopardmask January 9, 2015 1:27 PM

Does anything ever come of

coloring the tiles

? As far as I can tell it's just a fun little easter egg.
This game started out not fun for me but once I got the hang of it it started being really fun! I haven't managed to collect all 5 Things as of posting this comment, but at one point I had 9 attack and 7 luck when I died.
This somehow sorta reminds me of I Don't Even Know and I Don't Even Game.

Reply
Patreon Crew SonicLover January 9, 2015 2:38 PM replied to Leopardmask

Re: the tile coloring...

I think it's just for "note-taking". Say, to keep track of the hint a good ghost gave you.

Reply

I finally beat the game, after uncovering over half of the tiles.

As SonicLover said, keep track of the good ghosts' hints: both where they are and the locations of the things they point you to. You can then avoid squares within the radius.

When you gain a level, you can increase attack, health, or luck. You'll recover all health upon level-up, but unless you're desperate, go for attack instead. The first level-up will double your attack, and from then on most battles are much more survivable. Luck is relatively worthless as an option for leveling up, though it may be possible to have a successful luck-based playthrough by taking some high-risk options early on.

Rolls for random events usually go against you, and many are rigged to always go against you. Some options are high risk - moderate reward (luck bonus), but the low risk options are better late-game. For some, the worst result for one option is better than the best result for another one. Common sense usually helps you, though for the TV:

Scream at it. The other bad outcomes will probably kill you. Alternatively you can try turning it off to summon a monster. I think that's the one that lets you beat the game immediately (mentioned on the in-game hints), but it's hard to defeat. It's huge and I think it stays in place, so just rapidly click it. You need to have very high attack (and probably the wizard power). I had 4 attack when I faced it but wasn't prepared; I don't even think 4 was enough anyway.

Enemy Guide:

Giant Flying Skull - Generic enemy.
Geriatric Cyborg - Dangerous. He'll jump around the screen independent of your clicks. Click him 2-3 times, wait for the jump, and repeat.
Naybur - It jumps rapidly, and it hurts a lot if you misclick. It won't deal damage if you wait, but it has a lot of health. It can also heal itself. I usually try to follow it and click it once between each jump.
TP Troll - Be patient; waiting doesn't hurt. It jumps around too quickly for you to follow, but if you leave your cursor in one spot, it'll occasionally overlap.
Cigarette - Click it quickly! It deals damage rapidly, but it takes one click to defeat.
Bomb - It'll jump once, then stay put. Rapidly click it before it explodes!
Sheepie - Ugh. Generic enemy, but hurts a lot. Takes 5 clicks.
Attack Heart - Pretty generic.
GHOST.wrk - Generic and annoying.
Angry Muffin - Weak, generic enemy.
Bad Ghost - Generic enemy. Sometimes teleports.
Average Human - Hey! No threat, even if you somehow miss.
Scribbley Ghost - It stays in the middle, so mash the attack button. It will attack you quickly too.
Greasy - Stays in place, so rapidly mash attack. It gives a lot of experience!

Reply

Haha this was pretty funny:

Eating a mushroom makes the game colors to start tripping out.

Reply
RushBoy January 9, 2015 9:17 PM replied to bluemoose19

Relating to the

TV end boss:

11 attack stat was more than enough to beat it without it having to attack back. Was it an instant death when it attacked or did it do a certain amount of damage?

Also, the game can really snowball in your favor once you get a stroke of good luck. I unintentionally had a luck run after getting consecutive brain/wizard power. Seems like getting a power doubles your attack/reveals dice roll for the next enemy/fun thing, but landing on another brain/power without an encounter boosts the respective stat. It happened to me for both attack and luck. By then I had only minor problem with fun things, which seemed to be my major run killer. Some good dice rolls allowed me to boost my stats even more and steamroll the rest of the game. My final stats were 40 HP, 11 ATK, and 13 LK. Overall the game is pretty cool, but I would have liked it more if it wasn't so RNG based. The whole time I had to pray that I would not get a dice roll that would end up in instadeath.

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something i've noticed is at the start, much can hurt you. but thanks to 2 lucky potions, i wound up with round 7 dam... then nothing posed a challange.

beat the game with 38 hp, 17 dam and 12 luck. But once I got to around 6 or 7 attack, able to kill most things in 2, 3 hits... the only thing I had to worry about was the 'fun things'... and half of those was done by just 'play it safe'. look, a toilet. use it, gain hp. food? eat it. Bad? you gain hp. good, it explodes and you gain stats.

then it was just a 'click enough things to find them'.

Reply
Patreon Crew SonicLover January 10, 2015 10:42 AM

The game says it has four endings based on your stats at the end, and I think I've figured out how to get each one.

The ending you get depends on which stat is the highest compared to its initial value.

  • Land of U end: Max HP is highest

  • Creepy end: Attack power is highest

  • Leprechaun end: Luck is highest

  • Space end: Multiple stats are tied for the honor

Reply

I've found some options to be always (as it seems) beneficial:

Piss on lava & pour bleach on self

Reply
Leopardmask January 10, 2015 12:22 PM

Update: Have won 4 times. Haven't found the Max HP ending yet.
RushBoy said that

11 Atk is enough for the TV boss

But I found out that

8 is not enough. IDK about 9 or 10.

Also,

If you have nothing to lose when you find the bleach, drink it. If you get lucky once, it increases your luck stat a ton.
Same with peeing on mushrooms.

I said in my last comment that this reminds me of I Don't Even Know. It also reminds me a tiny bit of Minesweeper and, weirdly, Binding of Isaac. I don't know, maybe it's the randomness and the art style.

Reply
yunruiwatts January 10, 2015 1:19 PM

Here's all the items (I think) and all of the possible outcomes:

Some general notes:
If you see +? or -?, it means that I don't know the specific amount that the stat will go up or down by. If your health is full and you get a healing effect, it only lets you know that your health is full. You can actually take advantage of this - your luck and attack cannot go below 1. So if the bad effect of a choice would decrease your luck but your luck is already 1, then you can choose that option and it can't hurt you.

In terms of how likely outcomes are, it seemed fairly intuitive to me for the most part. The less obvious an outcome is, the less likely is it to happen. For example,

tearing apart a turd gives you +3 to all stats, which is not something you would expect to have happen. As such, it's unlikely to happen.

Spiders

Blow on it

  • Good outcome: Nothing happens

  • Bad outcome: -1 health

Stomp on them

  • Good outcome: +1 Attack

  • Bad outcome: Nothing happens

Eat it

  • Good outcome: +3 health

  • Bad outcome: Death

Stick a paw in

  • Good outcome: +4 luck

  • Bad outcome: -10 health

Bleach

Dump it out

  • Good outcome: +? health

  • Bad outcome: Nothing happens

Drink it

  • Good outcome: +5 luck

  • Bad outcome: Death

Dump on self

  • Good outcome: +10 max health

  • Bad outcome: Death

Pee in it

  • Good outcome: All stats +5

  • Bad outcome: Death

Big Red Button

Press it

  • Good outcome: +3 health

  • Bad outcome: Summon an Angry muffin

Throw a rock

  • Good outcome: +3 health

  • Bad outcome: Nothing happens

Tear it out

  • Good outcome: Nothing happens

  • Bad outcome: -1 Luck

Lick it

  • Good outcome: +5 max health

  • Bad outcome: -3 health

Pizza

Eat it

  • Good outcome: +? health

  • Bad outcome: -3 health

Roll in it

  • Good outcome: +3 max health

  • Bad outcome: -5 health

Eat the crusts

  • Good outcome: All stats +3

  • Bad outcome: +1 health

Eat toppings

  • Good outcome: "u r a Hacker" - you're not going to get this unless you've hacked your luck to be well over 9000

  • Bad outcome: Death

Mushroom

Eat it

  • Good outcome: +3 max health

  • Bad outcome: Acid trip - the colors go funky for a short time

Stomp on it

  • Good outcome: Acid trip

  • Bad outcome: -3 health

Pee on it

  • Good outcome: +1 luck

  • Bad outcome: -1 luck

Lick it

  • Good outcome: Acid trip

  • Bad outcome: -1 attack

First aid kit

Use it

  • Good outcome: +1 attack

  • Bad outcome: +1 health

Drink peroxide

  • Good outcome: +4 luck

  • Bad outcome: Death

Dump contents

  • Good outcome: +10 attack

  • Bad outcome: -3 health

Bang on it

  • Good outcome: Nothing happens

  • Bad outcome: Summon TP troll

Rock

Throw it

  • Good outcome: +1 attack

  • Bad outcome: Summon enemy

Eat it

  • Good outcome: +1 health

  • Bad outcome: -1 attack

Jam it in your forehead

  • Good outcome: +5 attack

  • Bad outcome: -3 luck

Screech at it

  • Good outcome: +1 attack

  • Bad outcome: Nothing happens

Hamster

Turn it on

  • Good outcome: Nothing happens

  • Bad outcome: Summon vegan

Eat it

  • Good outcome: +? health

  • Bad outcome: -1 health

Get in

  • Good outcome: +5 luck

  • Bad outcome: Death

Pet it

  • Good outcome: +1 max health

  • Bad outcome: Nothing happens

Lava

Stare at it

  • Good outcome: +3 health

  • Bad outcome: Nothing happens

Pee in it

  • Good outcome: +1 attack

  • Bad outcome: Summon bad ghost

Jump in it

  • Good outcome: +50 luck - very unlikely to happen

  • Bad outcome: Death

Touch it

  • Good outcome: +5 luck

  • Bad outcome: -3 max health

Chocolate beans

Eat them

  • Good outcome: +1 attack

  • Bad outcome: +3 health

Smear on walls

  • Good outcome: +1 luck

  • Bad outcome: -1 luck

Eat bag

  • Good outcome: Nothing happens

  • Bad outcome: -3 max health

Smear on self

  • Good outcome: All stats +1

  • Bad outcome: Summon enemy

Glowing potion

Drink it

  • Good outcome: All stats +3

  • Bad outcome: All stats -3

Throw it

  • Good outcome: Nothing happens

  • Bad outcome: -2 health

Smash it

  • Good outcome: +1 attack

  • Bad outcome: -10 health

Eat cork

  • Good outcome: +? health

  • Bad outcome: Nothing happens

Toilet

Use it

  • Good outcome: +2 health

  • Bad outcome: Nothing happens

Poop in tank

  • Good outcome: +1 luck

  • Bad outcome: Summon Geriatric Cyborg

Drink from it

  • Good outcome: +3 health

  • Bad outcome: -2 health

Flush self

  • Good outcome: +1 max health

  • Bad outcome: Death

Turd

Screech at it

  • Good outcome: Nothing happens

  • Bad outcome: Summon average human

Roll in it

  • Good outcome: +3 max health

  • Bad outcome: -3 health

Tear it apart

  • Good outcome: All stats +3

  • Bad outcome: Nothing happens

Eat it

  • Good outcome: +1 health

  • Bad outcome: -3 max health

Candle

Watch it

  • Good outcome: +3 health

  • Bad outcome: Nothing happens

Blow it out

  • Good outcome: +1 luck

  • Bad outcome: Summon ghost.wrk

Pee on it

  • Good outcome: +1 health

  • Bad outcome: Summon bad ghost

Touch it

  • Good outcome: -1 health

  • Bad outcome: -10 health

Banana

Eat it

  • Good outcome: +1 luck

  • Bad outcome: +2 health

Stomp on it

  • Good outcome: Nothing happens

  • Bad outcome: -1 luck

Eat the peel

  • Good outcome: Nothing happens

  • Bad outcome: -3 max health

Smear

  • Good outcome: All stats +1

  • Bad outcome: Nothing happens

TV

Watch it

  • Good outcome: +3 attack

  • Bad outcome: Death

Smash screen

  • Good outcome: Nothing happens

  • Bad outcome: -10 health

Screech at it

  • Good outcome: +1 attack

  • Bad outcome: Nothing happens

Turn it off

  • Good outcome: +1 luck

  • Bad outcome: Summon Boss

Cheese

Eat it

  • Good outcome: +5 health

  • Bad outcome: -1 attack

Tear it apart

  • Good outcome: +2 luck

  • Bad outcome: Summon rat

Jump in it

  • Good outcome: +1 attack

  • Bad outcome: Nothing happens

Throw it

  • Good outcome: +2 luck

  • Bad outcome: -3 health

Empty box

Sit in it

  • Good outcome: +? health

  • Bad outcome: Nothing happens

Stomp on it

  • Good outcome: +1 attack

  • Bad outcome: -1 health

Pretend it's a racecar

  • Good outcome: Nothing happens

  • Bad outcome: -15 health

Hide in it

  • Good outcome: +2 luck

  • Bad outcome: Nothing happens

Cookies

Eat them

  • Good outcome: All stats +1

  • Bad outcome: -1 attack

Eat one

  • Good outcome: +2 health

  • Bad outcome: -1 attack

Eat all but one

  • Good outcome: +? health

  • Bad outcome: -? attack

Eat the plate

  • Good outcome: +1 Attack

  • Bad outcome: +1 health

Dead horse

This one decided to stop showing up for me, so I don't know what all the good outcomes are.
Jump on it

  • Good outcome: Don't know

  • Bad outcome: Nothing happens

Beat it

  • Good outcome: Win

  • Bad outcome: Nothing happens

Eat its face

  • Good outcome: Don't know

  • Bad outcome: -3 health

Poke it

  • Good outcome: Don't know

  • Bad outcome: Nothing happens

Reply
RushBoy January 10, 2015 1:36 PM replied to Leopardmask

You reminded me of another point I wanted to make about the game. I feel that the game is a bit too stacked against you in regards to dice rolling and survivability. One thing I would have liked to do (if it weren't so frustrating) was to take the time to see the positive and negative dice rolls for every fun thing choice. But the only way to do so (at least for the positive dice rolls) is to have a high luck stat... which can only be achieved by getting positive dice rolls to begin with. I want to explore all choices, but in order to do so I need to make progress in increasing my stats, but to do that, I stuck with choosing safe choices that I know will increase my stats instead of exploring new choices, which is what I want to do in the first place. To make things worse, there are so many ways you can instantly die through a negative roll. I feel pigeonholed to only making safe choices because one negative roll can instantly end your run. The only exception to this is the early game when you have nothing, as taking YOLO-risky choices aren't really that risky because you can easily reset your run.

Reply
yunruiwatts January 10, 2015 2:19 PM replied to RushBoy

@Rushboy If you want to see all of the good and bad outcomes or each choice, you're going to need to

hack your luck stat. Eating the toppings of the pizza first requires around 9000 luck, which you can't get without hacking. It even tells you "u r a Hacker", and you "win". As for jumping into the lava I'm not sure if it is possible to do without a hacked luck stat - I always saw it as requiring ~2000 luck, but the message it gives you implies that there may be a small chance of being able to do it without ridiculously high luck.

Anyway, take a look at the list I posted if you are just curious as to see what the good/bad effects are. I left out the messages you get so that people can still get something out of discovering them for themselves.

Reply
Leopardmask January 10, 2015 7:25 PM

yunrui, about the

dead horse

:

The good outcome for eating its face is gaining health, +3 I think.
IDK about the other 2 though. I got good luck with poking it but I don't remember what happened.

Reply
BillNyeTheRussianSpy January 11, 2015 3:34 PM

@yunrui:

The good outcome for jumping on the dead horse is an attack increase. Something about it exploding and the sound making you violent. Can't remember the exact number, unfortunately.

Reply
BillNyeTheRussianSpy January 11, 2015 3:38 PM

Oh, also:

Eating the pizza heals you by 10 in the Good outcome.

Reply
BillNyeTheRussianSpy January 11, 2015 3:56 PM

And finally, because I just figured this stuff out (sorry - I'd edit my first comment if I could):

10 Attack is enough to beat Tyquatt the All-Consuming. If you don't kill it in a few seconds, it consumes the screen and you die.

Regarding enemies:

The Cigarette doesn't attack any faster if you miss, hence the recommendation to click a lot. And GHOST.wrk, unlike other enemies, will randomly change direction, making leading your target more difficult.

Regarding pickups:

Picking up a Wizard Power when you already have one increases your attack by 3. Similarly, doubling up on Brains gives +3 luck.

Reply
BillNyeTheRussianSpy January 11, 2015 4:00 PM

Oh, darn it, one more thing regarding a particular enemy:

You can't attack the Sheepie when its spikes are out. Doing so counts as a miss.

Reply

Thanks for reviewing my game, Dora. This review was well balanced in it's pros and cons - I liked it!

With the fun things, I recommend taking stupid risks early in the game such as drinking the potion, getting in the microwave or doing anything with the bleach besides dumping it out. That way if you don't get a favorable result, you haven't lost much and you can just hit the reset button.

Also, remember that there is always at least one "safe choice" with the fun things. By "safe choice" I mean one that will never do harm even if you get the worst result.

I have a complete cheat-sheet made up for the fun things. Should I post it or would it spoil the fun of analyzing the game for everyone else?

Reply

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