Oh no! Ooooohhh noooooo! Decree... draining personality! Urge to reorganise filing cabinets... rising! Must... fight... nnnnnngh!
... hello, viewer. Thank you for visiting us. Here are some games you might enjoy on this Friday, which is not special at all. Please remember to wipe your feet and use your indoor voice. Proceed in a calm and orderly manner. Have you seen my stapler? I believe I have misplaced it.
- IheartPanda - I don't get the public infatuation with pandas. They're big and fat but they're still bears, and as such possess all the capabilities (and the desire) to render your face into a fine paste were you to try to rub their tummies. But, okay, assuming you "heart" pandas, would you still want one fired from a cannon at your face? In this little physics puzzle, you do just that; launch pink pandas at sad people, and the end result is hugs rather than maulings.
- I Wish, I Wish - Prologue - I'm just old enough that I grew up with Joust (AKA the best game EVER) rather than Pong, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate this fast-paced update of the classic. I'm not entirely sure what's going on, but it involves four paddles, a bunch of power ups, and the ability to make you seriously twitchy for a while. So basically it's just your average college hazing ritual, without the incriminating photos afterwards and the inability to look your friends in the eye.
- Fantastic Contraption 2 - As every craft teacher who ever had the misfortune to try to teach me something during my formative years will tell you, I am bad at making things. So while all the rest of you were off being creative flowers with the original Fantastic Contraption, I was avoiding it because I knew anything I tried to make would simply be a lurching, malformed and malfunctioning monstrosity that cursed me for bringing it into existence. Now, you can do it all again in Fantastic Contraption 2, only this time, you're going to have to pay for the whole package. You can play twenty levels for free, but to play the rest, as well as any other players have made, and create your own, you'll have to buy access for fifteen dollars.
- Unnatural Selection - [WARNING: Not safe for children.] I sort of wish I had recorded my initial reaction to this creepy-crawly simulation game when I found it in the submission box this morning. It was something like, "Oh, look, it's a game from those wonderful people who love the moon over at Rather Good! Let's see what this is... It's about... hmmm. And what's in the corner over th... oh. Oh, no. Oh no! Euuuuugh, gwaaaaah, what's... who does that?!" And now I'm sharing it with you! Place your worms in different locations and try to uncover all 16 possible evolutionary forms. Thanks guys, that was special to have before my coffee. I love you, Rather Good. Never change. <3
- Ninja or Nun 2 - It is a well known fact that ninja and nuns are equally deadly, but it is somewhat lesser known that they enjoy congregating en masse and offer medals based on speed to those that can tell them apart. Once you've trained your eye to look for certain facial characteristics the game becomes pretty easy, but it's still cute as a button.