Fancy seeing you here! This Link Dump Friday installment was actually written on a Wednesday, so I sort of just have to hope that between then and now the world hasn't been taken over by undead, machine-gun wielding cephalopod clowns, and you can actually read this, rather than spend the rest of your miserable life toiling in the Squeaky Rubber Nose Mines and punished with re-runs of Sex and the City. Fingers crossed! The good news is that if such an event does occur, it's entirely likely that I'll sell out your fledgling rebellions to ensure myself a cushy spot in the dystopian future while the rest of you suckers toil away. So yay for me!
- Rescue a Chicken - Did you play Red Remover, but thought it wasn't quite relentlessly cheerful enough, or didn't feature the perquisite amount of barnyard sound effects for your tastes? If so, rejoice! (Weirdo.) This cute little physics puzzler has you removing objects from the screen to drop your chickens safely into their nest. It's not particularly original, but it's well made and fun, even if you do have to cross your fingers and hope for the best in several situations.
- Hot Ninja Moon Moon - In all likelihood, if this game is "for" you, all I have to say is "retro platformer" and you're already on board. You play a skull-masked ninja (which is probably a reference to Newgrounds' labyrinthine user created culture) who has to make his way through screens of increasing difficulty to a really rockin' background tune. Because... well, um, just because, apparently. Also, you can unlock Meatboy as a playable character, but he plays exactly the same as the ninja does. It's a short but tightly controlled little platformer that makes a nice light snack if you really need some old-school gaming before your day is considered complete.
- LARRY: Big Dipper - Ah, mine shafts. Who doesn't love to plummet down them, trying to avoid falling boulders and explosive rocks while we frantically grab at gems and birds for high scores? We used to do that all the time back in my day. (I think it was a Friday.) What, it was Canada! What else did we have to do when the wild Polar Bear herds were put up in the Ice Barn for the night? The goal here is obviously to avoid obstacles while snagging all the gems you can and try to keep yourself intact to reach the bottom. If avoidance games are your thing, then this simple, well-made little offering will deliver.
- Mamono Sweeper - Best described as "Minesweeper, with RPG elements". Because, um. That's what it is. Rather than mines, you've got monsters, and higher level monsters than you are will deal damage when you uncover them. (Refer to the bottom of the game screen to tell which monster is which level.) So the trick is uncovering (slaying) enough weak monsters so that you can level up and take on bigger, badder things. It's a surprisingly addictive little time waster, and definitely unique, even with its spartan presentation. Sound effects? We don't need no steekeeng sound effects!
- The Slob - Yessir, this dev certainly has its fingers on the pulse of the world! They know what people want is to play a sickly looking slug that has to carefully monitor its acidity and alkaline levels in a platformer! It's actually pretty neat, if not terribly exciting; different terrain affects you in different ways, and there are various plants to watch out for. It's probably a little bit educational, too. Actually, the best thing about this weird little game is the oddly hypnotic soundtrack and strange graphics that combine to make me feel like I'm in a fever dream of Jim Morrison's. Like, whoa, man.