Welcome back! If I'm here and you're there, this must be Link Dump Friday, and as usual we, your humble servants at Jay is Games, have brought you a selection of games from the oftentimes frightening dark alley known as the "interwebs". This week we offer you a balanced diet of turn-based strategy, physics, and platforming. And then we kick it up a notch Lagasse-style with a zombie restaurant right before we jazz things up Bourdain-like with an appealingly noir superhero parody.
Special thanks this week to Andrew, who was nice enough to send me a link to The Case of Samuel Gregor, an interactive fiction title after I mentioned last week I was hoping someone would make a game similar to my favourite Kafka story, The Metamorphosis. We're buddies now, whether you like it or not. Yes, folks, we do read the suggestion box, so if you see something you think should be here, drop us a line.
- Da Vinci Cannon - Some might call it "a physics puzzle where you shoot a steampunkish cannon at a fort of dudes", but I call it "Crush the Castle minus the trebuchet." There are some differences, and it's certainly well made, but for the most part Da Vinci Cannon will probably give you a serious case of deja-vu. Of course, if all you really want is to fire cannon balls at helpless stationary people that squeal obligingly when crushed, it's pretty good at that, too. Which I guess makes it a success, if not a particularly original one. Kind of like every Disney teen pop star, ever.
- Heaven or Hell - An angel accidentally drops a halo that conks a demon on the head. Naturally, this can only be resolved in WAR. War with zombie snot and water pistols, but WAR nonetheless. Initially I was very excited about this adorable little turn-based battler that has you picking between angels and demons to duke it out across a map while you upgrade and unlock new units because it reminded me a bit of Ogre Battle. Instead, you get some grinding, and you get to make your clicker finger fall off; a lack of hot keys for the various actions can make battles pretty frantic.
- Orton and the Princess - There's a lot to like about this simple, twitchy little platformer, from the bouncy soundtrack and simple presentation to the progressively more mocking tutorial text that follows you as you play. And then your latent psychic abilities kick in and your monitor combusts from the sheer force of your hatred. Okay, so maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration; surely some of you possess digits dexterous enough to finish it easily and will brag accordingly in the comments, but the rest of us will be over here. Sulking. No, don't feel bad, it's actually pretty nice over here; we've got Scrabble and Stan brought chips.
- Feed Mee! - This is a game about a zombie king who kidnaps the winner of a cooking competition to eat her, who in turn volunteers to cook for the undead horde as long as they promise to free her after. That might be the single awesomest idea I've ever heard for a cooking game, but unfortunately it's more similar to a time management title a la Diner Dash. It's super cute and easy to pick up, but unfortunately gets repetitive fairly quickly. Does this represent a new trend in gaming? In which case, I can't wait for Zombie Salon and Undead Tetris. Which will honestly just be like regular Tetris, only squishier.
- I Am The Night - [Warning: Not for children and requires Unity plug-in.] I admit I was hoping for Darkwing Duck, but this very short platformer with its amusingly growly protagonist is still fun. Clamber across rooftops taking down criminals, provided you can get around the pudgy controls. Vigilant reader John who was good enough to submit this says it isn't intended to play particularly well, which I suppose makes sense once you discover the ending, but still; does whether its intentional or not make up for clunky controls? YOU DECIDE. ... no, not you. You. Yeah. I don't trust that other guy.