Instead of trying to summarize Party Tencho's Kissma with a regular review full of sentences—which would be kind of like trying to extinguish a grease fire with a pail full of mackerel—we're going to share an excerpt from our original e-mail conversation about it. These were our comments to our reviewer mailing list when we first played the game. We hope this peek into the inner workings of Jay is Games will be helpful and enlightening. And heeeeere we go:
Psychotronic - I just don't know how to describe this.
Kero - words fail me.
Jay - It's KISSTASTIC!
Dora - Oh my stars and garters.
Jay - I thought I was doing GREAT, but got "lowest kiss class" :(
Marcus - It sort of reminds me of the Parodius games on the old Turbo Duo. Just... odd... And, yes, "lowest kiss class" for me, as well :(
JohnB - I thought of Parodius, too! This thing is too crazy for words. Favorite kisspower: THE CLAW GRABBY MASHEEN! I love the "music" for this game, btw.
Dora - How can I be lowest kiss class?! I had a kiss cannon! AND KISS SHURIKEN.
JohnB - I didn't see EITHER of those. What, are there several dozen kiss powers?!
Jay - I had spidey's Kiss Web and the Kiss HAMMER
Art Begotti - Yeah, keep playing, it just gets crazier. I think I'm on my eighth game, and I'm still seeing new ones (although I've had repeats already as well). 82,600... still lowest kiss class. I'm hoping 100k isn't the next milestone?
Kero - 92.2k and lowest kiss class
Dora - This game is out of control. Someone needs to regulate the funk here, 'cause it is cra-zay!
Art Begotti- OOH! If you get the pongy-breakouty power-up (rolling kiss?), you get TWO THOOOOOUSAND!!! points per kiss. It's harder though, since you don't have as much control where the face goes.
Art Begotti - Oh... Eeugh... so if I'm interpreting the high scores right, your kiss grade is merely determined by whether or not you make the top 30. That's... disappointing.
Still riotously fun, although a pain if you get the wrong power-ups.
Dora - If only this were available for Gameboy. Then I could take Kissma wherever I go! :'(
Art Begotti - Who says you can't take Kissma wherever you go? (You're at least a girl, you can get away with running around and kissing random strangers in bizarre ways more easily than any of us guys could.)
Kero - If you press K you kiss everyone on screen. takes a few seconds before it activates though
Dora - Maybe if I ripped out the soundtrack so I could play it from the speakers on my MP3 Player . . . oh, if only . . .
StaceyG - :()
JohnB - I can just see one of us walking into a room, seeing 15 or so people meandering around, going about their business, all the while we're sizing up potential KISSMA scores. "Ok, I can hit the scruffy homeless guy twice before he wakes up, that's 300 points total, then I grab the bottle he's clutching which is obviously a super KISSMA power, allowing me to perform an AEROBIC KISSMA on a bunch of the others..."
Art Begotti - AAAAUGH!!! I tied for last place (98.1k) but I didn't get in!
Dora - Guys, guys! You're cheapening the Kissma Experience(tm) by focusing so much on the scores! Stop the fussin' and th' feudin'! Remember what Kissma is about -- fabulous hair and forcing your drunken affections on total strangers!
Ms. 45 - But Dora, I can do that anywhere!
SonicLover - If I ever end up in the same room as you, Dora, do me a favor and pretend I don't exist.
Dora - Since you ask so sweetly.