Giant monsters have always had a long and illustrious history of unusual powers, as well as the disproportionately sized cities for sake of employing them. Godzilla could exhale blasts of destructive atomic energy that could obliterate matter down to the last atom. Gamera was notorious for his fire-breathing and plasma-spewing propensities, and Mothra possessed formidable psychic abilities because she was...a, um....well, the superscience was always murky on that one. But have you ever before seen a colossal creature so mighty that they could fell entire civilizations solely with the power of their snot? Say hello to the newest megaton monstrosity in town, a nauseating giant by the name of GOBTRON, brought to you by the good people of Juicy Beast.
In an era-spanning adventure, you'll guide the bizarrely adorable GOBTRON through epoch after epoch of pesky Earthlings who believe that the planet isn't big enough for the both of you. The trustiest weapon in your arsenal is a gob of mucus, swaying from your pink, furry nostril. Click on the snot to grab it, pull it back to ready your strike, and then release to fling the sticky missile in the opposite direction of your pull. A direct hit will bring the humans right into your schnozz, where they're converted into DNA points for upgrades. Of course, as the age of man winds down its troubled and snotty path, your foes will evolve even more formidable technologies and stratagems for vanquishing their sworn enemy, and you'll have no choice but to respond with a slew of more and more repugnant abilities. ("Booger shot" springs to mind.) In the end, who will emerge victorious? Only time and about 200 pounds of alien phlegm will tell.
The presentation is where this game truly shines. From the dopey smile plastered on GOBTRON'S face during every level, to the sickening snap of the snot, there's just so much attention paid to how this thing was wrapped. The music changes from one chapter of humanity to the next, often with appropriate selections, like jungle drums for the Stone Age or more military-style fare for the contemporary age. And then there's the sense of humor, which is so omnipresent that it's basically (and literally) dripping out of the game's nose. There's a tongue-in-cheek sanctimoniousness about it all ("Sound the horn! We must build structures to bring down this beast!"), and the hilarity of it all multiplies exponentially when coupled with the subject matter.
There's not a lot to learn to the gameplay, but what's there works surprisingly well. New tricks that GOBTRON acquires over the course of the game keep things fresh, although the lynchpin of your defense will always remain in your snotsling, which doesn't really change over time. By the endgame, you may find yourself wishing that the creators had devised some kind of keyboard scheme to manage all your auxiliary weapons. Having to aim and activate every single one of GOBTRON'S expulsions with your mouse (with one exception) requires a level of manual agility that touchpadders may find nigh impossible.
However, don't let that scare you away from one of the most original, accessible, and effortlessly hysterical gaming experiences of our time. So move over Godzilla, because unless we see some atomic snot action in the next remake, I know who my money's on.
Thanks for sending this in, Ajay and Brian!