OK so about the squid...dont know if anyone answered it but after you cut off its legs then zap it for the last time you use the chainsaw and cut it across its head...hope that helps

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Dude, can anyone PLEASE tell me how to to the crab one. You know, for Scarlett Throbbing. Please, just tell me how. I am so confused...

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I can't get pass Act 2 second stage? I don't know what I'm doing wrong?

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for the crab you keep your cursor away from the crab then when its in the middle of the screen you zap it and you have to do it twice

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Lindsay Ireland November 13, 2010 1:52 PM

I can't get past shame-rock on act 1.
Is there some trick to syringeing all the poison up? Everytime I try this level, the guy dies before I can get them all!

What should I do to pass this?

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How do you beat the bee on the last level of Act 1????
Everytime I get to that part by the time I get rid of the poison, my heart rate won't stay up enough to kill the bee.
If I don't do the poison first, it spreads too much and I die right after I kill the bee!

Seems like I can't win here. :/

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I can't figure out where to cut to get Vladimir open!! Any suggestions?

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can anyone help me on the richard thumble i do loads of injections then when i start operating he dies what am i doing wrong????

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How do you kill the thing inside the president?

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How do you get the secret files in the game? I can see the blank pictures, and I finished all the regular patients, so now I'm not sure what to do.

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What do I do with the red dotted lines on the heart? The chainsaw isn't working.

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the final boss Bleed, how?

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Bats:

Wake them up and give them something to eat.

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After I kill the Squid, what do I do to the heart?

It has red boxes and I've tried EVERYTHING!

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Same here...I kill the squid, vacuum up the oil and immediately I'm returned to the "outer heart"...without removing the tentacles (not sure if you are supposed to do that). And with the outer heart, it's like Solatoral said, "It has red boxes and I've tried EVERYTHING!"

Damn frustrating.....

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That is a bug, in other games you can see the squids tentacles and you pull them out, i am having same problem with that squid

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MUFFIN MAN November 16, 2010 5:20 PM

Thank you so much. I was stuck on the squid for ages.

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The Squid keeps glitching on me. After I kill it, the heart has not tentacles sticking out of it, just red rectangles in lines that kinda pulse. Any ideas?

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I've got the same problem. I made a screenshot so that you can see it. I hope someone knows help.

http://img264.imageshack.us/img264/4946/squid.jpg

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bluebobcat November 17, 2010 5:32 PM

How do you move the torch on the mystery boss?

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How do you fix the red boxes after squid bug?
Please help.

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In the last stage, might be the final or second to last level bs. Dwayne, his nemesis who pretended to be the president, I have no idea how to kill that last boss worm type thing that pops up with all the teeth in a circle in his mouth that spews out green and black stuff when he jumps up. I've literally tried everything like 10 times, can't kill it. Suggestions?

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How do you work in Princess Stela, the first area with the egg things? I got two large ones but don't know what to do after destroying them.

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Same here, the quid problem is annoying, cant get any further becuase of those red boxes, is it a glitch then?

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only in the pig level you can use the keyboard to type in the words that scroll in the type and talk

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crazy_gamer110 November 20, 2010 8:16 AM

After the 20th time (yes, 20th) that I've restarted the squid challenge it keeps on coming up with those bugged red dotted lines and I have NOOO idea how on earth to get rid of them, I've honestly tried absolutely EVERYTHING!!! =( HELPP!

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How do you kill the bug in the president?

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No matter what I do I can't get an A on the aide! I get "awesome" on everything, and I beat the level with 2 mins to spare. Is there anything else I can do to get more points?

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Ok, I'm getting the stupid red boxes as well. I have reoperated on a number of occasions and they still appear. Will someone please give advice or say what I need to do?

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I'm on the squid level, but once I beat the head level (shocking the squid and cutting its head open) I left to the outside of the heart. From here, I can't do anything because I cant see the tentacles. The places where they would be are covered with red dotted lines. HELP!

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For all those having trouble with thee squid once you're outside the heart,(with the red rectangles) those are supposed to be the squid arms. it didnt work for me on armorgames but when i went on the adultswim website, it worked. (I had to re-do other operations)

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Well, the squid looks somewhat different on my computer, and i cant remove the tentacles...

I am playing the game on armorgames:
pic:

http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/4654/amateursurgeonerror.jpg

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Hey, in the first operation of Act 2, in the guy you just find in the "new hospital" (its a barnyard). I'm stuck, there's nothing more to do, anybody can tell me if I'm missing something or its a bug? Here's the printscreen: http://img253.imageshack.us/img253/1563/amteursurgeon.jpg

Thanks guys!

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Arcus, try scanning his body for foreign objects.

Also, I've tried playing the game on 4 different websites and every site has given me red boxes on the squid. -sigh-

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I can`t see the tentacles after destroying the squid. what should I do???

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After you kill the squid and it goes back to the view of the heart, what do you do with the red boxes over where the tentcles used to be? i've tried everything i can think of and nothing is working. can anyone help?

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I can destory the squid, but as soon as it gets to the heart, I can't see any tentacles and some scars underneath some red lines just continue to flash. Anyone else have this problem? I really can't think of anything to do :/

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I get the squid dead, but then what?! it zooms back to the hot, and has red and white lines over the wound. what do I do?

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how do you use the keyboard?
its not letting me

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yea but you cant always use the keyboard...i messed up once and it wouldnt let me use it when i re-did the operation with the pig so i still have not beat it it.

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what do you do with the capts heart after you kill the squid it has these weird red blocks where the tentacles used to stick out what do i do?

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Everyone who has gotten stuck at the squid, read here:

The game is glitched apparently and until it is fixed, you cannot progress through the game.

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If you're having problems with squid tentacles after killing it (red blocks where there should be tentacles) try playing it on adultswim using the links in the review above.

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hey, i need help with the captain guy :P
i've killed the squid moved onto the 'heart bit', sewed up the middle cut but what are the red boxes in the column type things & what do i do with them?! Any help appreciated!!! :D

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the problem I'm having is that once I've killed the octopus and it takes me back to the exterior of the organ, there seems to be a glitch in the game. There are no tentacles to pull out where there should be. Instead I get red squares of the wounds and flashing scars at the edges of the red sqaures. Nothing I try seems to work, including trying to remove the invisible tentacles anyway. Very annoying.

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dear b, of course you can beat the game with a touchpad. i have..

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ahh! can someone help me on the squid level!? i killed the squid but i can't see the tenticals to remove them! *sob sob sob*

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Can't seem to get past the president stage..the worm tt kept in popping out is never ending..pls help...

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guy fawkes November 28, 2010 4:01 PM

i have already killed that stupid octopus, so now i only have it's legs. what do i do to advance?

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After the squid what do i do wth the red lines on the guys heart?

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Here is a walkthrough I wrote for Act 1. I'll try to write one up for Act 2 soon!

Overall Tips

When the heart rate drops to 0, your patient dies, so keep his heart rate up is critical. Open wounds, poison clouds, insect bites, and squid ink (yes, squid ink) all drop a patient's heart rate fast, so getting rid of those things first is critical. Learning to use the needle and using it fast is also key. I have increased a patient's heart rate to over 100 bpm, and I haven't killed a patient yet by increasing it too much (and no patient in Alan Probe 2 has a too-high heart rate problem, as in the original.) To get an A on most patients, it is imperative that you don't use the wrong tool, operate on the wrong area, or mess up using the needle. This will rack up your number of consecutive "AWESOME"s and go a long way toward an A grade. Also, solid yellow lines require the pizza cutter, dotted yellow lines require the chain saw, black lines get the lighter, and green lines require the gel.

Walkthrough for Act 1

Act 1

Tommy Gracefuls

Burn and gel his 3 outer wounds and cut him open along the yellow line to get to his inner cavity. Extract the 3 pieces of glass and use the new knitting needles (replacing the stapler) in a zig zag fashion across his larger wounds to seal them before burning and gelling them. Burn and gel the minor wounds, stitch up the cut you made to get to his inner cavity, and you're done!

Tips:

This one is pretty easy to get an A on, so if you're having trouble, just keep practicing so you don't have any "WRONG"s.

Tony Alias

First, you have to use your new body scanner (replacing the Etch-A-Sketch) to discover some hidden maladies. If you didn't choose to upgrade your scanner after Tommy, the scanner will emit a red, yellow, or green ring that changes color depending on how close you are to the hidden object (red=far away, yellow=getting warmer, and green=cut here). If you've upgraded, you will also get a directional arrow that points toward the object. After you have a sense of where an object is, use your pizza cutter to cut out a roll of money, then use your tongs to remove it. Then stitch, burn, and gel the wound. Repeat for the 2nd roll. Now use your pizza cutter along the yellow line to get inside, and use your scanner and pizza cutter again to find the fake ID(?). Tongs, stitch, burn, and gel the wound. Stitch, burn, and gel the wound you made on his exterior, then use the pizza cutter on the new yellow line to get at his intestines, and use it again to get inside the intestine itself. Scan again and cut to find a fake passport, then use tongs, stitch, burn, and gel on the wound. Repeat the tongs, stitch, burn, and gel routine on the cut you made on his intestine, and the exterior cut you made. That's it!

Tips:

This one isn't too tricky to get an A on either. When there are multiple things to find in one area, I would advise getting at them one at a time to avoid losing too much blood. Other than that, this isn't too easy. Just make sure to rack up all "AWESOME"s.

Richard Thimble

He has a lot of deep cuts and low heart rate to begin with, so you want to stitch up the cuts fast. Remove the 2 objects with tongs, then stitch up all of the deep wounds on his torso. Use your pizza cutter on the yellow line to reach his kidneys. Use tongs on the shard of glass, then stitch up the major wounds, and burn and gel all wounds. Now use your scanner on the kidneys to find and cut out 2 segments of barbed wire (although I recommend attacking the 2 separately). Stitch, burn, and gel the wounds, then stitch, burn, and gel the outer wound.

Tips:

I can't remember when you get the needle that can increase heart rate, but you don't actually need it on this level to complete it and get an A. Stitching up major wounds fast will get you there.

Dick Masterson

It's time to break out the chain saw again! But first, use your pizza cutter on the yellow line to reach his clavicle(?). Then grab the chain saw and cut along the solid yellow line. (Alan Probe 1 players will appreciate how much easier it is to use the chain saw with the "AWESOME" seal of approval.) Use tongs to remove the brittle clavicle, then the tongs again on the new clavicle. Burn the new clavicle along the dotted black lines into place, then seal it along the dotted green lines with the gel. Don't forget the bone shard in the surrounding tissue: use tongs, stitches, lighter, and gel to heal those new wounds. Stitch, burn, and gel the exterior wound, then use the pizza cutter on the new yellow line. Chainsaw the brittle pelvis, use the tongs to remove it, and the tongs again to replace it. Burn along the dotted black line, and gel along the dotted green line to heal him, then stitch, burn, and gel the exterior wound. Cut along the final yellow line, chain saw the vertebrae, use tongs to remove and replace them, and burn and gel along the appropriate lines. Finally, remove the 2 bone shards, and then stitch, burn, and gel them. Stitch, burn, and gel the exterior wound and you're done!

Tips:

Using the chainsaw isn't as tough in Alan Probe 2 as it was in the original, and some errant chainsawing can still get you an A. Time doesn't seem to be as big a problem as it was in the original either, so take your time and cut along the lines for an A.

Miss Distress

Miss Distress doesn't want your pain-reducing gel, so you won't be using it at all with her. Cut along the yellow line to get to her lungs, where you will cut a yellow line and use tongs to insert a piercing in the wound 2 times. Stitch and burn (but no gel!) her exterior wound, then cut along the new yellow line to get to her heart. Cut, then use tongs to insert a piercing in the wound 4 times. Now just stitch and burn the exterior wound and you're done!

Tips:

Keep track of the tool you have in use here, since you have to do a lot of switching between tools. An A isn't too tough here.

Scarlett Throbbing

Creatures in the interior are the toughest levels in my opinion, so this one is a bit tougher than the others. Stitch up the deeper exterior wounds, then burn and gel all of the exterior wounds. You'll notice that Scarlett's heart rate is low to begin with, so I would suggest using the needle a few times to get her heart rate up before you go after the crabs inside. Use the pizza cutter to reveal one crab roaming the inside of her heart. It's important to know that crabs run from the mouse cursor, so it's best to attach them when they are in the middle of the screen. Scarlett also has 2 deep wounds, so it might be best to stitch them up while you're waiting for the crab to go to the middle of the screen. You need to use the chainsaw on the crabs, and by use I mean click and hold your cursor on top of the crab. The crab should emanate this little sunburst of its impending death, and then it will lose its shell. KEEP HOLDING, though, even after it loses its shell, otherwise you have to chase the crab (which is faster due to its utter terror), and it's much harder to get an A. If you hold the chainsaw too long, though, you'll cut Scarlett and possibly ruin your chances for an A, so it's important to look for the blue gunk splatter and/or the X's in the crab's eyes, both of which tell you the crab is dead. Now use the tongs on the crab claw, and stitch up any deep wounds you have, then burn and gel all wounds. (Note: As far as I can tell, blue crab gunk does not lower heart rate any faster, so there is no need to vacuum it up unless it's hiding some cut you need to heal.) Stitch, burn, and gel the exterior wound. Now might be a good time to use the needle to up Scarlett's heart rate before you head into another crab-infested area. Use the pizza cutter on the yellow line to reveal 2 crabs on her liver. I prefer to kill both crabs before I heal any of the wounds because live crabs make new wounds, so repeat the same procedure on these two crabs (hold the chainsaw on a crab, watch it lose its shell and keep holding until you see blue gunk and/or X's for eyes). Stitch any major wounds, then burn and gel all wounds. If it looks like you're done but the game isn't bouncing you back to the exterior, you probably have a small cut hidden under all the blood and crab gunk. In this case, use the vacuum to suck up that stuff to find any remaining wounds. Stitch, burn, and gel the exterior wound to finish!

Tips:

This one is tougher to get an A on, and it requires that you don't slip with the chainsaw, as well as use of the needle several times for health on Scarlett's exterior. The exterior is best for using the needle because her heart rate doesn't drop as quickly as it does in the interior. Also, if you misclick and get any "WRONG"s, you will likely be downgraded, so wait until the crabs are in the center of the screen and click with confidence. It's also really important to hold your click on a crab after it loses its shell and you see its tiny, frightened face.

Uncle Chuckles

First up, use your pizza cutter to explode Chuckles's nose, then vacuum up the blood (enough to see) to reveal a deep wound. Stitch, burn, and gel it, then use your pizza cutter on the yellow line to get to the interior. The dove needs 3 separate zaps with the car battery to kill it, and it's important to only zap on the dove, otherwise Chuckles's heart rate will drop to 0, and when you zap him (Chuckles) again, it won't bounce back to where it was before. The bird gives you quite a bit of time between on screen appearances, which should give you a lot of time (between appearances 1 and 2) to heal all wounds and vacuum up any feathers and bird dung than may be cluttering your screen. Once you've done the bird in, you may need to vacuum up the splatter to reveal some hidden cuts, but once all cuts are mended, you to stitch, burn, and gel the exterior wound. But that's not all! Use the pizza cutter on the new yellow line and use your scanner and pizza cutter to reveal a rope of colorful handkerchiefs…attached to a dead-looking rabbit. Due to the location of the rope, you will have to use the tongs, then lift your tongs, then grab the rope again closer to the wound before it retreats back inside to reveal the rabbit at the end of it. (Fortunately, the rope doesn't retreat too quickly, and you should only have to life your mouse once.) Use the tongs on the rabbit to place him/her on the tray, the stitch, burn, and gel the wound. Stitch, burn, and gel the exterior wound to finish!

Tips:

You have to be careful where you zap when you're dealing with the bird, as a false click will place Chuckles in cardiac arrest, as well as decrease your chances for an A. If you accidentally zap Chuckles instead of the bird, zap him again, then use the needle to get his heart rate back up. Everything else is fairly straight-forward.

The Shame-Rock

Stitch up the deep exterior wound, then burn and gel all exterior wounds to reveal the yellow line you have to cut. I like to use the needle in the exterior before heading inside, raising his heart rate to 70 or 80 bpm. Once inside, you're dealing with poison, which will multiply if left untreated in either gas or droplet form. Unlike the original Alan Probe, here poison is dealt with the needle (NOT the pizza cutter). Grab the needle, click on top of a poisonous cloud, then follow the dotted line without touching the sides to the goal at the other end. This will splatter the poison into some greenish drops that must be vacuumed up. I recommend using the needle on all of the clouds (and you'll probably get some that multiply because there are so many) before grabbing the vacuum, as you have less time with the clouds before they multiply than un-vacuumed poison gas. (Note: Make sure you get all of the droplets! [It will say "AWESOME" for each time you vacuum up all of the droplets from one cloud.]) Once you needle all of the poison gas bubbles and vacuum up the droplets, you head back to the exterior to stitch, burn, and gel the cut. Next, you must cut another yellow line to replace his knee. Use the chainsaw along the solid yellow line, then the tongs to remove it, and the tongs again to insert the knee replacement. Burn along the black line, and gel along the green line to seal the new knee. Don't forget to use the tongs to grab the two bone shards in the surrounding tissue, and to stitch, burn, and gel those wounds. Stitch, burn, and gel the exterior wound, then head to the thigh and cut along the new yellow line. Again, use your chainsaw on the solid yellow line, then the tongs to remove the old femur, tongs to insert the new femur, and then the lighter on the black line and the gel on the green one. And there are 2 more wayward bone shards that need to be removed with tongs, and the wounds must be stitched, burned, and gelled. Stitch, burn, and gel the exterior wound and you're done!

Tips:

There are a lot of steps here, and the key to an A is keep track of which tool you have and not make any mistakes. Using the needle (especially in the exterior) is important, and learning to use it well even more so. If you hit the sides on your way through each mini needle maze, you may end up with a new cut that you have to heal, and the poisonous gas has more time to multiply. One really tricky thing about using the needle in this level is that the needle will flip directions (up or down), depending on where you've inserted it, so if you think you need to move your cursor up but you actually need to move it down, you will see a big "WRONG" on screen and lessen your chances for an A. The poison part is the toughest part of this level by far (in my opinion), so if you can master the needle and its tendency to flip directions, you'll be golden.

Mystery Boss

The trick in this level is that you're essentially operating in the "dark," which means you have an opaque screen with a circle of light surrounding your cursor. This isn't actually all that bad, although it's probably helpful to survey each screen you have before you start with any operating. Actually, before starting anything at all on the exterior, you should probably use your needle a couple of times, as the President's heart rate is already low at 20 bpm. Cut along the yellow line, then head to the poisoned interior. You'll start with 2 poison clouds, and if you're quick, you should be able to needle them to droplet form before them multiply. Vacuum up the droplets (and be sure to get them all!), then burn and gel all of the wounds before heading back to the exterior to stitch, burn, and gel your incision. You may want to use the needle to get his heart rate up before cutting along the yellow line to reveal a bee that flies by and 3 poison clouds. Deal with the poison first with the needle before it multiples (and even if it multiplies), then vacuum all droplets. Now you're left with 2 problems: some small incisions (left by the bee) and the bee itself. The bee isn't on screen all the time, which is annoying, but most of that time you'll want to spend waiting for the bee or using your needle to get his heart rate up. There are also a few small wounds you can burn and gel, but taking care of the poison and taking care of the bee should be top priorities (in that order). To get the bee, select the car battery, then move your cursor around to search for him, as he/she lands randomly and can only be zapped once each time he/she lands. It will land somewhere, and you need to zap it. Once zapped, the bee will fly away and you need to zap up the poison cloud and poison droplets it left behind. You have to zap the bee 3 times for it to die, and each time it will leave behind poison you have to take care of.

Tips:

Poison is tough because it can multiply, and poison coming from an interior creature is doubly tough. Make sure you only zap the bee and not the patient, and use your needle quickly and accurately when you can to get the heart rate back up. You need to rack up the "AWESOME"s and not miss with the needle to get an A.

Bonus Patient Act 1

The Bonus Act 1 patient will appear after you get an A on each of the other Act 1 patients. The Bonus Patient in Act 1 is Vladimir Ampire, and he is a non-sparkly, poorly disguised vampire who needs some serious help. You will be operating in the dark as you did for the President, but Vladimir doesn't have a heart rate that you need to watch. In fact, Vladimir doesn't need to be healed in the same way that other patients do. To heal any of his wounds (deep cuts, shallow cuts, or burns), use the vacuum to pour blood on them. At the outset, Vladimir has 2 stakes in his torso that need to be removed very slowly and carefully with tongs. Once removed, those wounds (as well as any others) need to be vacuumed with blood (the vacuum will spit out blood on its own without you sucking up blood first, so don't worry that it will suck up blood on accident, or worry about not having cuts to suck blood from, as was the case in the original). Use the pizza cutter to head to the interior, where you must remove 2 cloves of garlic with tongs. The garlic is emitting poisonous gas clouds, and you deal with poison clouds with the needle, just as you do with patients that have a pulse (although now the needle is red with blood instead of bluish-green). After gutting the poison bubbles with the needle, use the vacuum to suck up the poison droplets, and the vacuum again to heal any wounds or burns. Now you must use your scanner to reveal 2 hidden silver bullets that must be excised with tongs and their wounds healed with the vacuum. Vacuum the exterior wound to reveal another yellow line you must cut. Now we have 3 bats. The bats need to first be burned with the lighter in their cute faces to wake them. (I recommend dealing with each bat one by one, as I'm not sure you can win by waking all of them at once.) Once awake, use the needle on their cute mouths to fill their bellies with blood. You must use the needle 3 times on each bat for its cute belly to burst. After dealing with the bats (and any small cuts you may have left from missed needle use with the vacuum), just vacuum the exterior wound to finish.

Tips:

Good needlework is the key to an A here, as you have to use the needle a lot here. But not having a heart rate that you need to worry about helps. Just take care of the poison quickly without hitting the edge of the needle, then deal with the bats one by one and you should be set!

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Can anyone help me.... On the the second surgery for the president how do you get rid of the that robot/monster thingy?!! I have tried soo many times!!
Thank you

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How do you get enough points on Starla to get an "A". I have only gotten as good as a "B".

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Alan Probe: Amateur Surgeon 2 walkthrough
Here is the complete walkthrough. I hope this helps!

Overall Tips

  • When the heart rate drops to 0, your patient dies, so keep his heart rate up is critical.

  • Open wounds, poison clouds, insect bites, and squid ink (yes, squid ink) all drop a patient's heart rate fast, so getting rid of those things first is critical.

  • Learning to use the needle and using it fast is also key.

  • I have increased a patient's heart rate to over 100 bpm, and I haven't killed a patient yet by increasing it too much (and no patient in Alan Probe 2 has a too-high heart rate problem, as in the original).

  • To get an A on most patients, it is imperative that you don't use the wrong tool, operate on the wrong area, or mess up using the needle. This will rack up your number of consecutive "AWESOME"s and go a long way toward an A grade.

  • Also, solid yellow lines sometimes require the pizza cutter and sometimes require the chain saw, black lines get the lighter, and green lines require the gel.

  • Oh, and remember that the number keys on your keyboard are your friends, and it's much easier to switch tools using them than with the mouse cursor.

Act 1

Tommy Gracefuls

  1. Burn and gel his 3 outer wounds and cut him open along the yellow line to get to his inner cavity.

  2. Extract the 3 pieces of glass and use the new knitting needles (replacing the stapler) in a zig zag fashion across his larger wounds to seal them before burning and gelling them.

  3. Burn and gel the minor wounds, stitch up the cut you made to get to his inner cavity, and you're done!

Tips:

  • This one is pretty easy to get an A on, so if you're having trouble, just keep practicing so you don't have any "WRONG"s.

Tony Alias

  1. First, you have to use your new body scanner (replacing the Etch-A-Sketch) to discover some hidden maladies.

  2. If you didn't choose to upgrade your scanner after Tommy, the scanner will emit a red, yellow, or green ring that changes color depending on how close you are to the hidden object (red=far away, yellow=getting warmer, and green=cut here).

  3. If you've upgraded, you will also get a directional arrow that points toward the object.

  4. After you have a sense of where an object is, use your pizza cutter to cut out a roll of money, then use your tongs to remove it.

  5. Then stitch, burn, and gel the wound.

  6. Repeat for the 2nd roll.

  7. Now use your pizza cutter along the yellow line to get inside, and use your scanner and pizza cutter again to find the fake ID(?).

  8. Tongs, stitch, burn, and gel the wound.

  9. Stitch, burn, and gel the wound you made on his exterior, then use the pizza cutter on the new yellow line to get at his intestines, and use it again to get inside the intestine itself.

  10. Scan again and cut to find a fake passport, then use tongs, stitch, burn, and gel on the wound.

  11. Repeat the tongs, stitch, burn, and gel routine on the cut you made on his intestine, and the exterior cut you made. That's it!

Tips:

  • This one isn't too tricky to get an A on either.

  • When there are multiple things to find in one area, I would advise getting at them one at a time to avoid losing too much blood. Other than that, this isn't too difficult. Just make sure to rack up all "AWESOME"s.

Richard Thimble

  1. He has a lot of deep cuts and low heart rate to begin with, so you want to stitch up the cuts fast.

  2. Remove the 2 objects with tongs, then stitch up all of the deep wounds on his torso.

  3. Use your pizza cutter on the yellow line to reach his kidneys.

  4. Use tongs on the shard of glass, then stitch up the major wounds, and burn and gel all wounds.

  5. Now use your scanner on the kidneys to find and cut out 2 segments of barbed wire (although I recommend attacking the 2 separately).

  6. Stitch, burn, and gel the wounds, then stitch, burn, and gel the outer wound.

Tips:

  • I can't remember when you get the needle that can increase heart rate, but you don't actually need it on this level to complete it and get an A. Stitching up major wounds fast will get you there.

Dick Masterson

  1. It's time to break out the chain saw again! But first, use your pizza cutter on the yellow line to reach his clavicle(?).

  2. Then grab the chain saw and cut along the solid yellow line. (Alan Probe 1 players will appreciate how much easier it is to use the chain saw with the "AWESOME" seal of approval).

  3. Use tongs to remove the brittle clavicle, then the tongs again on the new clavicle.

  4. Burn the new clavicle along the dotted black lines into place, then seal it along the dotted green lines with the gel.

  5. Don't forget the bone shard in the surrounding tissue: use tongs, stitches, lighter, and gel to heal those new wounds.

  6. Stitch, burn, and gel the exterior wound, then use the pizza cutter on the new yellow line.

  7. Chainsaw the brittle pelvis, use the tongs to remove it, and the tongs again to replace it.

  8. Burn along the dotted black line and gel along the dotted green line to heal him. Then stitch, burn, and gel the exterior wound.

  9. Cut along the final yellow line, chain saw the vertebrae, use tongs to remove and replace them, and burn and gel along the appropriate lines.

  10. Finally, remove the 2 bone shards, and then stitch, burn, and gel them.

  11. Stitch, burn, and gel the exterior wound and you're done!

Tips:

  • Using the chainsaw isn't as tough in Alan Probe 2 as it was in the original, and some errant chainsawing can still get you an A.

  • Time doesn't seem to be as big a problem as it was in the original either, so take your time and cut along the lines for an A.

Miss Distress

  1. Miss Distress doesn't want your pain-reducing gel, so you won't be using it at all with her.

  2. Cut along the yellow line to get to her lungs, where you will cut a yellow line and use tongs to insert a piercing in the wound 2 times.

  3. Stitch and burn (but no gel!) her exterior wound, then cut along the new yellow line to get to her heart.

  4. Cut, then use tongs to insert a piercing in the wound 4 times.

  5. Now just stitch and burn the exterior wound and you're done!

Tips:

  • Keep track of the tool you have in use here, since you have to do a lot of switching between tools. An A isn't too tough here.

Scarlett Throbbing

  1. Creatures in the interior are the toughest levels in my opinion, so this one is a bit tougher than the others.

  2. Stitch up the deeper exterior wounds, then burn and gel all of the exterior wounds.

  3. You'll notice that Scarlett's heart rate is low to begin with, so I would suggest using the needle a few times to get her heart rate up before you go after the crabs inside.

  4. Use the pizza cutter to reveal one crab roaming the inside of her heart.

  5. It's important to know that crabs run from the mouse cursor, so it's best to attack them when they are in the middle of the screen.

  6. Scarlett also has 2 deep wounds, so it might be best to stitch them up while you're waiting for the crab to go to the middle of the screen.

  7. You need to use the chainsaw on the crabs, and by use I mean click and hold your cursor on top of the crab.

  8. The crab should emanate this little sunburst of its impending death, and then it will lose its shell.

  9. KEEP HOLDING, though, even after it loses its shell, otherwise you have to chase the crab (which is faster due to its utter terror), and it's much harder to get an A.

  10. If you hold the chainsaw too long, though, you'll cut Scarlett and possibly ruin your chances for an A, so it's important to look for the blue gunk splatter and/or the X's in the crab's eyes, both of which tell you the crab is dead.

  11. Now use the tongs on the crab claw and stitch up any deep wounds you have, then burn and gel all wounds. (Note: As far as I can tell, blue crab gunk does not lower heart rate any faster, so there is no need to vacuum it up unless it's hiding some cut you need to heal).

  12. Stitch, burn, and gel the exterior wound.

  13. Now might be a good time to use the needle to up Scarlett's heart rate before you head into another crab-infested area.

  14. Use the pizza cutter on the yellow line to reveal 2 crabs on her liver.

  15. I prefer to kill both crabs before I heal any of the wounds because live crabs make new wounds, so repeat the same procedure on these two crabs (hold the chainsaw on a crab, watch it lose its shell and keep holding until you see blue gunk and/or X's for eyes).

  16. Stitch any major wounds, then burn and gel all wounds.

  17. If it looks like you're done but the game isn't bouncing you back to the exterior, you probably have a small cut hidden under all the blood and crab gunk. In this case, use the vacuum to suck up that stuff to find any remaining wounds.

  18. Stitch, burn, and gel the exterior wound to finish!

Tips:

  • This one is tougher to get an A on, and it requires that you don't slip with the chainsaw, as well as use of the needle several times for health on Scarlett's exterior.

  • The exterior is best for using the needle because her heart rate doesn't drop as quickly as it does in the interior.

  • Also, if you misclick and get any "WRONG"s, you will likely be downgraded, so wait until the crabs are in the center of the screen and click with confidence.

  • It's also really important to hold your click on a crab after it loses its shell and you see its tiny, frightened face.

  • I had some difficulty finding the right angle at which to excise the crab legs, so it may take a few tries to successfully pull this surgery off without dropping a crab leg.

Uncle Chuckles

  1. First up, use your pizza cutter to explode Chuckles's nose, then vacuum up the blood (enough to see) to reveal a deep wound.

  2. Stitch, burn, and gel it, then use your pizza cutter on the yellow line to get to the interior.

  3. The dove needs 3 separate zaps with the car battery to kill it, and it's important to only zap on the dove, otherwise Chuckles's heart rate will drop to 0, and when you zap him (Chuckles) again, it won't bounce back to where it was before.

  4. The bird gives you quite a bit of time between on screen appearances, which should give you a lot of time (between appearances 1 and 2) to heal all wounds and vacuum up any feathers and bird dung than may be cluttering your screen.

  5. Once you've done the bird in, you may need to vacuum up the splatter to reveal some hidden cuts, but once all cuts are mended, you to stitch, burn, and gel the exterior wound.

  6. But that's not all! Use the pizza cutter on the new yellow line and use your scanner and pizza cutter to reveal a rope of colorful handkerchiefs...attached to a dead-looking rabbit.

  7. Due to the location of the rope, you will have to use the tongs, then lift your tongs, then grab the rope again closer to the wound before it retreats back inside to reveal the rabbit at the end of it. (Fortunately, the rope doesn't retreat too quickly, and you should only have to life your mouse once).

  8. Use the tongs on the rabbit to place him/her on the tray, the stitch, burn, and gel the wound.

  9. Stitch, burn, and gel the exterior wound to finish!

Tips:

  • You have to be careful where you zap when you're dealing with the bird, as a false click will place Chuckles in cardiac arrest, as well as decrease your chances for an A.

  • If you accidentally zap Chuckles instead of the bird, zap him again, then use the needle to get his heart rate back up.

  • Everything else is fairly straight-forward.

The Shame-Rock

  1. Stitch up the deep exterior wound, then burn and gel all exterior wounds to reveal the yellow line you have to cut.

  2. I like to use the needle in the exterior before heading inside, raising his heart rate to 70 or 80 bpm.

  3. Once inside, you're dealing with poison, which will multiply if left untreated in either gas or droplet form.

  4. Unlike the original Alan Probe, here poison is dealt with the needle (NOT the pizza cutter).

  5. Grab the needle, click on top of a poisonous cloud, then follow the dotted line without touching the sides to the goal at the other end. This will splatter the poison into some greenish drops that must be vacuumed up.

  6. I recommend using the needle on all of the clouds (and you'll probably get some that multiply because there are so many) before grabbing the vacuum, as you have less time with the clouds before they multiply than un-vacuumed poison gas.

  7. Note: Make sure you get all of the droplets! It will say "AWESOME" for each time you vacuum up all of the droplets from one cloud.

  8. Once you needle all of the poison gas bubbles and vacuum up the droplets, you head back to the exterior to stitch, burn, and gel the cut.

  9. Next, you must cut another yellow line to replace his knee. Use the chainsaw along the solid yellow line, then the tongs to remove it, and the tongs again to insert the knee replacement.

  10. Burn along the black line and gel along the green line to seal the new knee.

  11. Don't forget to use the tongs to grab the two bone shards in the surrounding tissue, and to stitch, burn, and gel those wounds.

  12. Stitch, burn, and gel the exterior wound, then head to the thigh and cut along the new yellow line.

  13. Again, use your chainsaw on the solid yellow line, then the tongs to remove the old femur, tongs to insert the new femur, and then the lighter on the black line and the gel on the green one.

  14. There are 2 more wayward bone shards that need to be removed with tongs, and the wounds must be stitched, burned, and gelled.

  15. Stitch, burn, and gel the exterior wound and you're done!

Tips:

  • There are a lot of steps here, and the key to an A is keep track of which tool you have and not make any mistakes.

  • Using the needle (especially in the exterior) is important, and learning to use it well even more so.

  • If you hit the sides on your way through each mini needle maze, you may end up with a new cut that you have to heal, and the poisonous gas has more time to multiply.

  • One really tricky thing about using the needle in this level is that the needle will flip directions (up or down), depending on where you've inserted it, so if you think you need to move your cursor up but you actually need to move it down, you will see a big "WRONG" on screen and lessen your chances for an A.

  • One other needle/poison issue to be aware of is that when the needle is being used to destroy the poison, it does not raise the patient's heart rate.

  • So if you want to use the needle to accelerate Shame's heart, you have to do it somewhere that isn't a poison bubble.

  • The poison part is the toughest part of this level by far (in my opinion), so if you can master the needle and its tendency to flip directions, you'll be golden.

Mystery Boss

  1. The trick in this level is that you're essentially operating in the "dark," which means you have an opaque screen with a circle of light surrounding your cursor. This isn't actually all that bad, although it's probably helpful to survey each screen you have before you start with any operating.

  2. Actually, before starting anything at all on the exterior, you should probably use your needle a couple of times, as the President's heart rate is already low at 20 bpm.

  3. Cut along the yellow line, then head to the poisoned interior.

  4. You'll start with 2 poison clouds, and if you're quick, you should be able to needle them to droplet form before they multiply.

  5. Vacuum up the droplets (and be sure to get them all!), then burn and gel all of the wounds before heading back to the exterior to stitch, burn, and gel your incision.

  6. You may want to use the needle to get his heart rate up before cutting along the yellow line to reveal a bee that flies by and 3 poison clouds.

  7. Deal with the poison first with the needle before it multiples (and even if it multiplies), then vacuum all droplets.

  8. Now you're left with 2 problems: some small incisions (left by the bee) and the bee itself.

  9. The bee isn't on screen all the time, which is annoying, but most of that time you'll want to spend waiting for the bee or using your needle to get his heart rate up.

  10. There are also a few small wounds you can burn and gel, but taking care of the poison and taking care of the bee should be top priorities (in that order).

  11. To get the bee, select the car battery, then move your cursor around to search for him, as he/she lands randomly and can only be zapped once each time he/she lands. It will land somewhere, and you need to zap it.

  12. You have to zap the bee 3 times for it to die, and each time it will leave behind poison you have to take care of.

  13. Once zapped, the bee will fly away, and you need to zap up the poison cloud and poison droplets it left behind.

Tips:

  • Poison is tough because it can multiply, and poison coming from an interior creature is doubly tough.

  • Make sure you only zap the bee and not the patient, and use your needle quickly and accurately when you can to get the heart rate back up.

  • You need to rack up the "AWESOME"s and not miss with the needle to get an A.

Bonus Patient Act 1

  1. The Bonus Act 1 patient will appear after you get an A on each of the other Act 1 patients.

  2. The Bonus Patient in Act 1 is Vladimir Ampire, and he is a non-sparkly, poorly disguised vampire who needs some serious help.

  3. You will be operating in the dark as you did for the President, but Vladimir doesn't have a heart rate that you need to watch.

  4. In fact, Vladimir doesn't need to be healed in the same way that other patients do. To heal any of his wounds (deep cuts, shallow cuts, or burns), use the vacuum to pour blood on them.

  5. At the outset, Vladimir has 2 stakes in his torso that need to be removed very slowly and carefully with tongs.

  6. Once removed, those wounds (as well as any others) need to be vacuumed with blood (the vacuum will spit out blood on its own without you sucking up blood first, so don't worry that it will suck up blood on accident, or worry about not having cuts to suck blood from, as was the case in the original).

  7. Use the pizza cutter to head to the interior, where you must remove 2 cloves of garlic with tongs.

  8. The garlic is emitting poisonous gas clouds, and you deal with poison clouds with the needle, just as you do with patients that have a pulse (although now the needle is red with blood instead of bluish-green).

  9. After gutting the poison bubbles with the needle, use the vacuum to suck up the poison droplets. Use the vacuum again to heal any wounds or burns.

  10. Now you must use your scanner to reveal 2 hidden silver bullets that must be cut out with the pizza cutter, then excised with tongs and their wounds healed with the vacuum.

  11. Vacuum the exterior wound to reveal another yellow line you must cut.

  12. Now we have 3 bats. The bats need to first be burned with the lighter in their cute faces to wake them. (I recommend dealing with each bat one by one, as I'm not sure you can win by waking all of them at once).

  13. Once awake, use the needle on their cute mouths to fill their bellies with blood. You must use the needle 3 times on each bat for its cute belly to burst.

  14. After dealing with the bats (and any small cuts you may have left from missed needle use with the vacuum), just vacuum the exterior wound to finish.

Tips:

  • Good needlework is the key to an A here, as you have to use the needle a lot here.

  • Not having a heart rate that you need to worry about helps.

  • Just take care of the poison quickly without hitting the edge of the needle, then deal with the bats one by one and you should be set!

Act 2

Ringo Fixit

  1. Remove the 2 shards of glass with tongs and stitch up all of his major wounds.

  2. Burn and gel all exterior wounds to reveal the yellow line you have to cut to get to the interior.

  3. Before cutting, though, I would probably go to the needle a few times to raise his heart rate before dealing with his very cut-up lungs.

  4. Here the story is very much the same as it was on the exterior: remove the 2 shards of glass with tongs and stitch up all of his major wounds before burning and gelling all wounds.

  5. You'll now return to the exterior to stitch up, burn, and gel your incision, and then reveal another yellow line you need to cut through.

  6. Now is a good time to use the needle if your heart rate is low.

  7. Here at the liver, you'll see another 2 shards of glass that you need to remove with tongs, then stitch, burn, and gel the two wounds.

  8. Since you haven't been bounced back to the exterior, this means there is something left to do, so get out your scanner and find the 2 hidden objects (again, I typically deal with them separately).

  9. After using your pizza cutter and removing the 2 wads of cash with the tongs, you have to stitch, burn, and gel the two incisions.

  10. Then you'll be bounced back to the exterior, where you stitch, burn, and gel your incision. This should reveal the final exterior yellow line you have to cut.

  11. Here is Ringo's kidney, which you need to chainsaw over 2 separate lines to break the kidney into removable pieces you excise with tongs (you can make the two cuts at once, or cut and remove, cut and remove).

  12. After removing the old kidney, use the tongs on the new kidney and place it in the middle of the screen.

  13. Now, just burn along the black line, gel along the green line, then stitch, burn, and gel your exterior incision. That's it!

Tips:

  • No tips here that I haven't said before. Just make good use of the needle, don't drop the kidney or any shards of glass, and you should have an A.

Napoleon Trotterski

  1. So this is a weird surgery, and will require some quick typing skills on your part.

  2. First, use the chainsaw on hoof 1, then use the tongs to discard the cut hoof piece, the tongs again to place the thumb where the hoof piece used to be, then burn along the black line and gel along the green line.

  3. Repeat this process with hoof 2.

  4. Now at the pig exterior, use your pizza cutter along the dotted line.

  5. These are the pig's vocal cords, which you need to cut with the chain saw (again, you can cut all three then remove all three, or cut, remove, repeat, repeat).

  6. Use the tongs to remove the vocal cord remnants, and the tongs again to insert the type 'n tell that is now going to serve as the pig's new voice box.

  7. Burn along the black line and gel along the green line to seal it in.

  8. Now comes the unique part. First, vacuum up the blood so you can see the screen of the type 'n tell.

  9. Now use the car battery to zap the type 'n tell (I think anywhere on the device is fine).

  10. Now you will see words crawl across the digital screen of the type 'n tell, and you must type them in before they crawl all the way to the left.

  11. If a word gets all the way to the left (i.e., where the bomb is) before you type it in, a few flames will erupt, causing damage and probably blocking the screen.

  12. You can, in theory, use the mouse to click the alphabetically-arranged keys on the keyboard to type in the words, but I'm not sure it can actually be done, as the final few words are very fast. However, you can use your actual keyboard on your actual computer to type them in as they crawl across the screen fairly easily (easily, that is, if you are a fast typer).

  13. There are 10 words you must type, all of which are somehow related to your patient, and some of which initially look like other words (e.g., you must type both "PIGGY" at one point, as well as "PIGLET," so be careful about not anticipating and typing in each key correctly.

  14. A wrong key will start a fire just like the word getting to the bomb will.

  15. After that, just stitch, burn, and gel the wound to finish.

Tips:

  • The toughest part here is typing in the 10 words, and the last few may go by very quickly, depending on your typing ability.

  • Be cautious and avoid making incorrect keystrokes, and things should turn out okay.

  • Getting at A here isn't the hard part...it's just finishing the level at all amidst the fires on the type 'n tell.

  • One quick note: a slow connection for me made this level completely impossible, as I couldn't tell what the word was before the game had already determined that the word had hit the bomb.

Capn' Splinters

Note: some people have reported extreme difficulty with this level due to a bug in the game. I haven't experienced this bug using a PC with Chrome version 7.0.517.44, so I don't really know what to do if you're experiencing the bug.

  1. First off, you have to burn each of the belly barnacles this pirate boasts. (Vacuuming the barnacle sludge doesn't seem to gain you anything, so don't worry about it).

  2. Next, make your incision with the pizza cutter along the yellow line.

  3. At the heart exterior, you already know it's going to be bad when you see 5 tentacles stick out through open heart wounds. Use your pizza cutter on the yellow line to head inside the heart, although you might want to use the needle a few times before you do.

  4. Once inside, you can see the squid that has been plaguing the capn'.

  5. There is nothing you can do to the squid when it is just looking around; you can only attack the squid when it is inhaling(?) or when it is dazed. Its looking around phase will be a good time to use the needle to replenish health and vacuum up squid ink.

  6. Wait for the squid to do its inhaling thing, then use the car batter and zap its uvula (the dangly thing in the back of its throat), then grab the chainsaw quickly and use it on one of its tentacles (and you can only cut one tentacle at a time).

  7. While the squid throws a tantrum and then returns to its looking around phase, grab the vacuum to suck up the squid ink.

  8. Grab the needle to replenish any health you might have lost. You should be able to use the needle once or twice before you need to grab the car battery again to repeat this process for each of the other 4 tentacles.

  9. Once you've zapped and cut each of the 5 tentacles, you simply zap the uvula one last time when the squid inhales, then, when it's dazed, instead of chainsawing a tentacles, just chainsaw its face. (Note: if you are more concerned with getting an A on this level than simply finishing it, jump to the Tips section before completing this step).

  10. It will explode and leave behind some squid ink you need to vacuum up before you'll be bounced back to the heart exterior.

  11. Now, stitch, burn, and gel the incision you made.

  12. Next, use tongs on one of the tentacles to remove it to the silver tray, then stitch, burn, and gel the wound.

  13. Repeat this process for the remaining 4 tentacles. If you want an A, be careful not to drop any of the tentacles.

  14. Once you've removed all of the tentacles and healed all of the heart wounds, you simply need to stitch, burn, and gel the exterior wound to finish!

Tips:

  • Another user alerted me to the fact that it's impossible to get an A on this level without dragging out the squid's death a little bit.

  • After you have cut off all of the squid's tentacles and all the remains to be done is to zap it a final time in the uvula and then chainsaw its face, you should actually hold off on chainsawing its face and just keep zapping and vacuuming ink (and using the needle to accelerate the heart rate) until you have about 1 minute remaining.

  • Then chainsaw the squid's face and vacuum up any remaining ink and proceed through the rest of the steps outlined above.

  • It is also important to vacuum up the ink whenever you get a chance, as a lot of exposed squid ink will decelerate the patient's heart rate very quickly.

  • Using the needle when the squid is just looking around will help a lot.

Princess Starla

  1. Finally, a cosmetic surgery! This one is a bit confusing, since there are not interior creatures to zap or anything obvious. Anyway, cut along the yellow line with your pizza cutter to head to the interior.

  2. Use your scanner to find 2 hidden(?) fat bubbles(?), and (one at a time), cut them out with your pizza cutter, burn them with your lighter, put out the fire with your vacuum, and heal the burns with your gel.

  3. To leave Starla's belly, you have to then vacuum up any remaining fat globs, and once you've done so, you'll be bounced back to Starla's torso.

  4. Stitch, burn, and gel the incision, and now you're at Starla's lips.

  5. Use your needle on each of the 4 quadrants of her lips (i.e., lower left, lower right, upper left, and upper right) to enhance them, burning and gelling any cuts you might accidentally make by hitting the needle sides in the mini needle maze.

  6. Now you will be bounced to Starla's face, so use your pizza cutter where her nose should be.

  7. Use your chainsaw on her nasal bone(?), then the tongs to remove the old bone parts, and the tongs again to pick up and place the new bone parts where the old ones used to be.

  8. Next, burn along the black line and gel along the green line to seal the new bone in place.

  9. At Starla's face again, first stitch, burn, and gel your nose incision.

  10. Next, you must use your lighter in between her eyebrows (no, I don't know why it's the lighter).

  11. This will start a fire, which you must put out with the vacuum.

  12. Now use gel on any remaining burns and you're done!

Tips:

  • The trouble with Starla is figuring out what to do. Once you know what tools you need to use, it's fairly easy (as long as you don't mess up with the needle at any point).

Chewtoy Chuck

  1. Chuck's heart rate is at 20 bpm to start with, so you might want to use the needle on him right away, or maybe after stitching up some of those major wounds.

  2. Remove the 3 dog teeth from the open wounds, then stitch all major wounds, and then burn and gel all wounds.

  3. Now use the scanner to reveal the locations of 2 hidden dog teeth, use the pizza cutter on them (I prefer separately), and remove them with tongs, then stitch, burn, and gel the wounds.

  4. Before gelling the final wound, you might want to use the needle a few more times, because this guy is losing a lot of blood.

  5. Now at Chuck's leg, remove the 2 dog teeth, then stitch, burn, and gel all wounds.

  6. You now have to use the scanner one more time to reveal another hidden dog tooth, which you must excise with tongs, then stitch, burn, and gel the wound.

  7. Now you're at the patient's...ahem...rear, where there is another dog tooth to excise with tongs, and a few more deep cuts that have to be stitched.

  8. Next, burn and gel all wounds before breaking out your scanner again to reveal one additional hidden dog tooth (tongs, stitch, burn, and gel, just like all of the others). That's it!

  9. (Note: Chuck has an unsightly butt mole, but you're not here for cosmetics this time, so don't bother with it).

Tips:

  • This is a straight-forward patient who is losing a lot of blood fast, so just be quick and make use of the needle when you've burned all of the on-screen wounds and you should be able to get an A without too much of a headache.

Jimmy the Spider

  1. Use your pizza cutter on the yellow line, and the pizza cutter again on the intestine to reveal 2 flames and 2 flies that are cutting your patient (Actually, you might want to use your needle a few times before entering the intestine). The flies need to be zapped with the car battery and the flames need the vacuum to put them out.

  2. I recommend zapping the flies first and then dealing with the flames. This is because a zapped fly will leave behind a flame anyway, and it's easier to deal with all of the flames at once then switching tools a lot.

  3. If you can do that (and it's not easy; those flies jump around a lot), you'll be left with a few things still to do, the most important of which is dispose of the remaining LIVE fly eggs.

  4. There are 3 sets of eggs on the screen, two of which are LIVE and will respawn as flies again, and one of which is DEAD.

  5. The live eggs change shades of red, move a little bit, and are a bunch of circles together, whereas the dead eggs are grayish and don't move at all.

  6. Use the tongs on the live eggs, but don't drop the eggs or move your cursor too quickly, as either will result in a new fly that you have to zap, then deal with the flame.

  7. Once you get both groups of live eggs back to the tray, move the dead eggs over (which you can do much more quickly; dead eggs will never respawn) and heal all of the burns with gel.

  8. Now stitch, burn, and gel your incision before using your needle many times (get the heart rate up as high as you dare) before using your pizza cutter to deal with the mess in the upper portion of the intestine.

  9. Here you have 6 flies and 4 existing flames, and there doesn't seem to be a great way to go about this.

  10. The flames need the vacuum (just as before), and the flies need to be zapped (just as before).

  11. If too much time passes after killing a fly and the live eggs respawn, another fly will reemerge and you'll have to zap it, too. It's a lot to keep track of, and a lot of flames to put out while Jimmy's heart rate will be plummeting. (Some advice for doing this successfully is down in the Tips section).

  12. Once you've zapped all bugs with the car battery, put out all fires with the vacuum, removed all eggs with tongs (live and dead), and healed all burns with gel, you should get bounced back to the intestine to stitch, burn, and gel your incision.

  13. Now just stitch, burn, and gel your exterior incision to finish.

Tips:

  • I thought this was the hardest of all the levels because of the 6 fly part. First, in dealing with all of those flies, flames, eggs, and burns, it's critical not to miss zapping a fly, especially if you haven't upgraded your car battery.

  • Once you miss zapping a fly, even if you zap Jimmy again to get his heart going, his heart rate will be much lower than it was, and his heart rate drops really, really fast, and there isn't much time to use the needle to get it back up.

  • Second, it's important to get good at removing those live eggs, although I'm not really sure what triggers them to respawn. Sometimes eggs that seem to have just appeared respawn, and sometimes they seem to remain eggs for quite some time.

  • Dropping live eggs will definitely get you another fly, but I'm not really clear on what types of movements that eggs can't tolerate.

  • My advice is to see how fast you are able to move them to the tray back in the 2 fly portion of the surgery so that if you manage to zap all 6 flies in the later portion (as well as put out all of the fires), you'll be able to get the 3 groups of live eggs to the tray without respawning any of them (although I think it requires a lot of luck).

  • One nice thing about the eggs is that once they have respawned and you successfully zap the fly and put out the fire, the eggs will be dead and can't respawn again.

  • Jimmy's heart rate is really the problem here, since it drops so fast, even after all the flies are gone and the flames are put out.

  • Practice removing the eggs, get Jimmy's heart rate as fast as it will go without killing him before you head into the upper portion of his intestine, and don't zap Jimmy when you meant to zap a fly.

  • It's actually difficult to get any grade but an A in this level, as doing non-A work will probably get you killed before you can earn a subpar grade.

Peeping Tom

  1. Like Starla, the trick with Tom is figuring out what to do, not how to do it.

  2. You start out looking at one of Tom's 2 closed eyes (which is not obvious), and you need to use the tongs, first to lift his upper eyelid (you have to drag your cursor to your tool menu to do this) and then to drop his lower eyelid.

  3. Now use your pizza cutter to make an incision on the yellow line down the center of his eyeball.

  4. Use the chainsaw on the damaged retina, then use the tongs to remove it, and the tongs again to grab and drop the advanced retina where the old retina used to be.

  5. Next, burn along the dotted line and gel along the green line to seal that new retina in.

  6. Next, use your lighter on each of the two purple dots (scar tissue?) in the surrounding tissue.

  7. Put out the flames with your vacuum, then heal the burns with your gel.

  8. Now stitch, burn, and gel the eyeball incision.

  9. It might look like the eye you were working on just closed, but you have actually switched eyes and must now repeat the whole process, starting with the tongs to open the eyelids and finishing with the stitch, burn, and gel on the eyeball incision. That's it!

Tips:

  • After Jimmy the Spider, Peeping Tom is a piece of cake. Just don't open his eyelids too quickly or drop them, and put out the fires quickly. It shouldn't be too much trouble to finish the level with an A.

The Aide

  1. The Aide not only starts with a heart rate of 10 bpm, but he also has a lot of different sharp objects in his torso, and they all must be excised with tongs.

  2. The wounds they have left also must be stitched, burned, and gelled, but whether you should do them one at a time or all at once depends on whether or not you're going for the A (see Tips).

  3. One at a time is safest, but won't be as fast as all at once. Either way, you have to use the needle at some point because his heart rate is in the toilet.

  4. Once you've removed all of the sharp objects with tongs and stitched, burned, and gelled all of his wounds (and used the needle to get his heart rate up a bit), use your pizza cutter to head to the interior.

  5. His liver is the wrong color, so slice it with the chain saw along the 2 yellow lines.

  6. Now use the tongs 3 times to move all 3 pieces to the silver tray, and use the tongs one more time to move the transplant liver back to where the old liver used to be.

  7. Now burn it along the dotted outline and gel it along the green outline.

  8. Now stitch, burn, and gel the exterior wound, and then use the pizza cutter on the next exterior yellow line.

  9. Here's a green kidney that needs to be chainsawed twice, and then the 3 pieces need to be moved individually to the silver tray with the tongs.

  10. Next, use the tongs to insert the new kidney where the old kidney used to be.

  11. Burn it along the black outline and gel it along the green one.

  12. Now stitch, burn, and gel the exterior wound before using your pizza cutter on the third and final exterior yellow line.

  13. Heal the three burns on his green heart, then head inside the heart with a pizza cutter.

  14. Uh oh. 3 poison-marked tombstones in the walls of your heart muscles can't be good. You need to burn the tombstones with the lighter, and each will leave behind a poison cloud that must be needled and then vacuumed up once in droplet form (But if you want to get an A, skip to the tips below).

  15. After dealing with the poison, heal the burns with the gel, then stitch, burn, and gel the heart incision, and then stitch, burn, and gel the exterior incision. That's it!

Tips:

  • Just as in the Capn' Splinters level, you have to prolong this man's illness to rack up lots of consecutive "AWESOME"s to get an A.

  • This means you have to let the poison clouds multiply a little, so you have more clouds to rupture with the needle and more poison droplets to vacuum up.

  • Take care of 2 of the 3 poison-looking tombstones (fire, vacuum, needle on poison cloud, vacuum, gel on the burns), but when you get to the third tombstone, heal the burns but let the poison cloud multiply to give you a second poison cloud.

  • When you have 2 clouds, needle the first one, then vacuum up the droplets, then wait for the other cloud to multiply. Repeat.

  • You only need about 20 seconds (if that) to stitch, burn, and gel his heart incision and his exterior incision, so repeat this process until you have about that much time left on the clock. Or, wait until you have about 110,000 points.

Mystery Boss 2

  1. It's Dwayne Pipe! Dwayne starts out with a heart rate of 20 bpm and 3 small incisions, so burn and gel those 3 cuts, then use your needle a few times to get his heart rate up before using your pizza cutter on the yellow line.

  2. Dwayne's heart has 2 poison clouds that need to be needled, then vacuumed up after they are in droplet form.

  3. Next, stitch, burn, and gel the one deep cut, then burn and gel the remaining shallower cuts.

  4. You might want to use your needle again, but the interior of the heart is a doozy. Inside is a scary-looking centipede-type insect that can only be killed with the chainsaw. Notice that the rear segment of the insect is red, and that is where you need to use the chainsaw.

  5. Once you've done one segment, the insect will be shorter, and the red segment will now have moved up one.

  6. Repeat this process (you can hold your chainsaw down on top of the insect to try to kill it quickly, but this runs the risk of accidentally chainsawing Dwayne, which isn't actually what you're supposed to do) until you've chainsawed its red head, then use the needle on the poison cloud that it left.

  7. Now, quickly vacuum up the remaining poison droplets (some from the cloud, and some from the insect) before healing the small cuts with the lighter and gel.

  8. Again, before gelling that last cut, you might want to use the needle because what comes next really zaps Dwayne's heart rate.

  9. After healing the last cut, get your chainsaw ready while the screen will shake and you'll wonder what's going on when ZOMG! It's a big bug/lamprey thing which I'll call the big bug.

  10. While the big bug seems to be eating your face, use the chainsaw or car battery on it (all over the middle).

  11. That should daze the big bug and make it retreat, and you need to grab your needle and place it over one of its 3 eye-type things.

  12. Use the needle successfully and that eye should pop and make the big bug really mad.

  13. The popped eye leaves behind some poison droplets, so while the big bug is fuming and plotting, vacuum them up.

  14. Now that regular brown/red insect is back, so use your chainsaw on the red segments again, then use your needle on the poison cloud it leaves behind, and the vacuum on the poison droplets.

  15. Now stitch, burn, and gel the major wound and burn and gel all the minor ones, but use your need several times before gelling that final cut.

  16. Get your chainsaw or car battery ready to repeat this process for the next 2 eyes.

  17. Once you've used the needle on the third and final big bug eye, it will spit out a bunch of poison droplets that you need to vacuum up, as well as 3 of those brown/red insects that you need to kill with chainsaws.

  18. I think it's best to deal with those one at a time; otherwise you'll get a bunch of poison clouds that will multiply as you're trying to kill the other insects.

  19. Once you deal with those insects, stitch all major wounds, then burn and gel all wounds.

  20. Next, stitch, burn, and gel your heart incision, then stitch, burn, and gel your exterior incision and you're done!

And a note for players of the original Alan Probe: In the final level of the original game, you needed to use your chainsaw to anticipate where the spider was going to emerge, If you did this successfully, the spider would emerge, but a brown segment with legs would also fly out...a brown segment that looked a lot like the insects here. AND, if you used the car battery in that level, you would see the insect emerge, but you could never attack it. Well, here it is! It's been living in this guy the whole time.
Tips:

  • This is nowhere near as difficult as Jimmy the Spider, but the big bug does spit a lot of poison in your face when it's attacking, so it's important to keep Dwayne's heart rate quite high.

  • Always deal with the poison before dealing with any creatures and you should be able to ace this level, too.

Bonus Patient Act 2

  1. Now it's time to resurrect Dr. Bleed! Use your vacuum on the dirt on top of his coffin, then use your chainsaw on the yellow line to get to his corpse. (Now you'll see a prompt about keeping Dr. Bleed's heart rate about 30 bpm for more than 30 seconds to resurrect him).

  2. You'll notice, too, that you have new tools: cough syrup instead of gel and vampire tears instead of stitches.

  3. This is tricky, and I'm sure there are more ways to do this, but this worked for me: Pour cough syrup into his mouth, use the needle on him, then use the car battery.

  4. Now pour cough syrup into his mouth, use vampire tears on his thumb, use the needle on him, then use the car battery. Repeat.

  5. It really helps to be able to use the needle fast, and it's hard not to watch the clock, even though watching will slow you down.

  6. The vampire tears may also work on a few other wounds (I poured them pretty much everywhere, then would switch to the needle after a second, whether or not I'd gotten an "AWESOME").

  7. If you repeat this process and can use the needle quickly, you should be able to finish the level with an A.

Tips:

  • Just be fast with switching your tools and using the needle (and don't mess up with the needle).

  • This level (like a few others) is easy to get an A on, but hard to finish at all.

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How do you revive Dr. Bleed in the very end?

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I'm having trouble with the squid, every time i kill it and get out from the heart i didnt see the tecticals, all i see is red bars going across the heart, i need help

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ok if your having the problems with the worm it's simple

after he spews the stuff he goes into a daze, when he does use the needle on his three eyes you'll know what to do afterwards... hope it helps

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How do you type on the pig level using an iPhone? Ive tried pressing the buttons on the thing but it doesnt work! What do you do?!

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Anonymous January 4, 2011 12:17 PM

if you heal the type an spell with the syringe you don't actually have to type anything...... It worked for me every time I played :)

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szymon100000 January 16, 2011 10:30 PM

For people who need help getting an "A" on the woman with the crabs,

instead of killing the crab right away, wait for it to cut her a few times, and heal the wounds... and then kill the crabs.

I hope this helps!

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OMG. im going crazy with this capn splinters squid or whatever..i do everything..i shock the tonsils..i cut off the limbs..all of the ink is cleaned i shock his tonsils once more..he never dies..i just keep shocking his tonsils til the time runs out..i have no clue what to do after his limbs are gone, i clean up & keep shocking him..PLEASE HELP

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some body January 28, 2011 2:36 AM

for the girl with the crabs the easy way to beat her is right click when the crab is in the middle of the screen and to save time with the injection just left click and hold right click then you don't have to do the maze and when you right click it stops the time hope this helps

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How do i get past the last guy on act I? I dont know how to use the torch.

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How do you use the torch in the first secret boss on your iphone ?

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!!!!! Okay, with the pig if you're using an iPhone or iPod touch, to type words into the touch n' spell all you have to do is use the extractor (the tool you use to extract pieces of glass etc) and zoom in so that you can touch the individual letters on the keypad. Took me aaaalll day to figure that out, so you're welcome.

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Can someone help me? Im trying to kill the centepede on the president! how do i do this?

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Hey thanks for making this it helped soo much, but I have this game on the iPod touch and the directions for the typing on the pig don't work. If you could please please help. Thanks again

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For iPhone,
Pig:

in zoomed out mode you can use the gel to press the buttons

President/ Mystery Boss:

to use the light, you need to make use of the accelerometer. Works best held flat.

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I got to the point where I was back at the heart after killing the squid but the tentacles aren't showing. What do I do to get them out so I can finish?

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in the worm thing in the president act 2
which one is the freakin eye?!?!

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Ok im a little lost and need some help I'm on the shame-rock level and I have to use the syringe to extract the poison but now I have no way to keep his heart rate it wont go back and forth between sucking poison and keeping him alive and I cant beat the level because of it can anyone help me figure this out?

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PLEASE HELP!!! i have been trying for two days to beat the squid i do everything you are supposed to do right after i beat the squid a suck up all the ink and then it goes back to where you are supposed to pull out the tentacles but there are no tentacles!!! its like red dotted lines. like the ones that are there when you need to do and organ transplant. help i have no clue what to do

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Alexis g. April 3, 2011 10:47 PM

How do you unlock the remaining chapters on the circus freak out section, I've got all a's on everything else even the main game, also the first two people of the circus, but I can't do anything else, nothings unlocked! What do I do???

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I swear, Its like nobody ever reads these comments before leaving one of their own.

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It might be my computer, but on the squid i killed it, but every website says "Take the tentacles out" I can't. there's no tenticals just a red line with balck lines.it's po me

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im on the amature surgeon 2 act two cap'n splinter i kill the squid and then when it gets to the heart there are no tentacles sticking out, just the cut in the middle and then 5 red lines where the tentacles should be. am i supposed to cut it open? what do i use? ive tried everyting! please help!!

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Kutiebaby<3. April 13, 2011 11:48 AM

I need some help on Boris Power on the Cricus act part :( I get to do all the stuff and than it's in his spine and I have no idea what to dooo :(

Help me please :(

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Daniel R April 13, 2011 4:30 PM

I cant get past the abs on Boris.
I don't know what to do with them?
Help!!!!...

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Anonymous April 13, 2011 11:41 PM

Boris powers...the "rib/spine"is like a game of Simon says you wait to see what spot puffs up, then repeat the pattern by zapping each one hope this helps!

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Anonymous April 13, 2011 11:58 PM

How to beat Boris Powers

the"spine/ribs" is like a game of Simon Says. Watch witch color hole puffs up and repeat the patter by zapping...took me forever to figure it out! Hope that helps :)

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Help!! On Boris Powers in the Circus Freak file, I can't replace his butt cheek!!! I cut it off then it gives me a knew one to replace the old one and everytime I try to replace it, it says I've dropped it!! Help me!! :)

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Anonymous April 19, 2011 3:21 PM

How do you revive the final guy in act 2?

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how do i beat the muscle man and his abs in the bonus circus level?

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Lex, follow the order of the abs' movement by zapping it with electricity. I dont know how to finish this game. Im done with elephant boy but it wont let me continue to the next character :(

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Andy....... Gotta wait for the next update for the final few levels
unfortunately! I'm in the same situation as you, completed all levels
and waiting.........

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I can't start the game. I click on new game and it goes to the same think. I clik again on new play and it is always on the same page.
:(

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Winterdeep June 1, 2011 10:00 AM

Hi. I'm having trouble with 2 of the patients. In both cases it seems like I am doing great (no mistakes) but I can't get an "A" on either. Any help would be great. On Starla I get 19 points from an "A". Surgery goes fast and seems perfect although not many modifiers. On elephant boy I also seem to do well (no mistakes I can see) modifier goes super high, but I always end up with an "F" score at the end.

I'd be grateful for any direction.
Thanks,
Angela

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Winterdeep June 1, 2011 10:01 AM

Oh, I'm on a iPhone if that makes any difference.

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Anonymous June 11, 2011 7:42 PM

On circus freak-outs, "Brain in a Jar", how do I get past the part where you connect the device across the 2 slots in the brain? Every time I connect it, the timer starts racing down at speed & the only way I can keep the "Brain" from dying within a few seconds, is to continuously inject but that doesn't leave time to do anything else, and eventually the timer always wins. Anyone have suggestions???

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Sasspirilla June 11, 2011 10:55 PM

@ji guest: you have to keep the middle bean looking thing in-between the lines that are moving up and down. Beyond that I don't know how to beat that level. :/ hope that helps. :)

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Stephanie June 13, 2011 12:00 AM

I'm on the last of the circus people where you're supposed to kill the giant tick. I can't figure out how to kill it. I've tried to zap it, chainsaw it, inject it. Somebody please help, it's driving me nuts.

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TheFemaleSurgeon June 16, 2011 2:30 AM

Hey guys, anyone know how to kill the gigantic tick on the fake Ringmaster's brain on the last operation of Freak-Out? I have literally tried every single tool on it and it does not get damaged!
-The Female Surgeon

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Angela lee June 16, 2011 3:10 PM

How to beat Boris Powers
How do you put his buttcheak back on? It keeps saying I'm dropping it

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For everyone who's having trouble with the Circus Freak Out section, here are a few pointers for iPhone users...

Brain in a Jar

The device you're placing in the brain is like a level. You have to tilt your iPhone back & forth slowly in order to keep the "bubble" within the two black lines. Then, while keeping the bubble within the lines, you have to sew up the two main cuts you made & burn them as fast as possible (the faster you do this, the faster you can be done with trying to balance the "level"). This is not easy! At least for me, it's not...

ALSO NOTE that the 2nd time you have to do this, you need to turn your iPhone so that you're holding it vertically. I suggest doing this before you make the cuts & place the level device thingy.

The Ringmaster "Giant Bug/Tick Thing" (last character of Circus Freak-Out)

To beat the "tick" (that's what everyone seems to be calling it, although it has wings), you'll need to chainsaw around it, and when it starts flying around, shake your iPhone to "stun" it & cause it to flip over & lie belly-up. Then, zap it with the car battery. Keep doing it until there are no more left. NOTE: When the little bugs appear & are flying around, you can just zap those like normal.. no need to shake!

Now, if someone could offer ME a little help... I feel like I'm missing something on the Marvelous Manfredd level. I have an A on every level except this one. I've gone through the entire level probably 10 times without making any mistakes, no "ouches", no using the wrong tool, etc. and I am only able to get a C. I've gotten all A's pretty effortlessly on every other level, in ALL the Amateur Surgeon games... not just this one. The only other time I ran into this problem was in one of the other games... I want to say it was the "Pimp" character... there was some "secret" to the level that wasn't obvious...

I think I might be thinking of the staples on his nipples... lol. I'm pretty sure that was the one

I feel like there's something hidden like that in the Marvelous Manfredd level, but I just can't figure it out. I've tried everything I can think of... if anyone else has gotten an "A" on that level, PLEASE let me know how you did it. My best time is 1:19 & score is 86071. Here's what I do...

I cut, shake the phone, zap the flies, use the needle on the 2 green spots, vaccuum, sew up the wounds, burn, and gel. I do the same for all 3 sections.

What am I missing? Thanks!

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@Angela Lee regarding Boris Powers & his hard-to-place butt cheek (rofl this thread is ridiculous)....

If you're placing the left cheek, you have to line up the straight line on the right hand side of the cheek with the center of his butt. (I'm trying to put this as tactfully as possible... LOL). So, I guess to put it more bluntly, you have to line up the right side of the cheek with his butt crack. lol... do the same for the other cheek, and you're good to go!

Once I figured that out, it seemed like total common sense the first time I tried this level, but I dropped it a bunch of times, too, before realizing it.

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Maliko Wolfen July 14, 2011 2:15 AM

Actually, where you say that it is impossible to get an A without dragging out the squid's death is wrong. I just tried it and took the chainsaw to his face as soon as I got the chance, finished up the level normally, kept low on damage and high on heart rate and I got an A. 90,302 was my exact score. Might wanna look into that. :)

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People, read the helpful spoilers before commenting "I can't figure whatever out." really, people, seriously?

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shmamama123 July 19, 2011 6:00 PM

once you've completed the game how do you get the bonus levels? do i have to ace all the levels first or is there something else i can do?

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for those stuck on the big bug in the last level use the syringe on his eye

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Anonymous August 6, 2011 3:25 PM

I can't complete 'Mannfred'! Please help!

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