Hey! What do you think you're doing, running past my section of The Vault so fast? Didn't you read the pixilated sign? There's history down here, you shouldn't just sprint past it! I don't care if your mother's calling you, slow down for a second and sit yourself down in front this here bulky CRT-monitor I got back in '98. There. That's better. Now quit squirming. See, in my day, we didn't have those "advanced" Flash games with their newfangled graphics and gameplay you kids keep playing. No sir, we had nice and simple, ol' fashioned break games, like these gems I found in the back... hold on a sec while I get em... now don't move!
- Gold Miner - Wow, this one's got a little dust on it... (WOOSH!) There, much better. Now this arcadey "nugget" (ba-dum-tsssh!) from 2003 was quite the popular Flash game for its time, and despite its age, Gold Miner still holds up today thanks to its time-tested, addictive gameplay. Your miner guy is at the top of the screen, with a crane swinging back and forth. Press [down] to shoot your crane out to try to grab valuable gold nuggets and mystery bags in order to reach your money goal for the round. Press [up] to toss a stick of dynamite at any rocks you may pick up to save time. Can you hit your goal before time runs out? With its upgrades, simple controls, and increasing difficulty, Gold Miner is still a great choice for a quick distraction.
- Fishy! - Before the rise of the popular and polished "Feeding Frenzy" series (which would make its appearance on PC and Xbox), there was the Flash game Fishy! by Xgen Studios. The game is a spiritual successor to the classic 1982 Intellivision game "Shark! Shark!", which introduced the "eat or be eaten" game mechanic. Basically, your fish has to eat other fish smaller than itself to grow progressively larger, while avoiding being eaten by bigger fish. Fishy's classic avoidance gameplay and fluid keyboard controls makes this one addictive and fun, just the way casual games are meant to be.
- Geosense - Wait a minute... Geography as a game? Don't recoil in horror — it's actually a lot of fun. This single/multiplayer game in DHTML has you pinpointing locations of cities all over the world using your mouse. Try to get as close as possible to a city's actual location for higher scores. Test yourself on maps of the world, the USA, or Europe. There's even a "Scramble" mode for more challenge, where the location's name reveals itself one letter at a time. Compete against players all over the world in real time for bragging rights over who REALLY knows the actual location of Petropavlovsk within 50 km.
Okay, I'm done. That wasn't too bad, was it? Here, let me unbuckle those straps and... hey... where'd you go?
We hope you enjoyed this week's assortment of vintage casual. Go ahead and post any comments about the games here. Just remember that for help on any individual game, you should post any questions on that game's review page. Enjoy!