Link Dump Friday
You know, friend, we love you, but we think you're getting soft. We're too good to you. Too many physics puzzles, nonsensical minigames, pterodactyls... well, we're just saying we think you could do with some toughening up. That's why there's a land mine in this week's Link Dump Friday. A perfect little package of jump scares and shrieks in amidst all the cute pixelated kittens, grinning hungry balls, stoneage inventors, and smooshy fairytale critters. Some people say variety is the spice of life. We tend to agree.
- iZZi - They say there's no such thing as a free meal, but don't tell that to these smiling critters. The goal is to shoot the iZZi at the blocks that match its colour so it can devour everything onscreen. It's a little slow paced, but it is cute as a button. Provided your buttons have eyes. And mouths. And tend to swallow massive amounts of coloured bricks. And... you know, who came up with that saying anyway?!
- Stonepunk - The goal is simple. Upgrade your prehistoric invention with all manner of wildlife and twigs to fly as far to the right as you can. If there's one thing I hate more than Mondays, it's trends. So let me just say that while all you suckers are out there gluing cogs to your boots and painting your belts copper, me and this little launch game are starting a new, way-cool way of nerd life and you're not invited. We tried stone top-hats and stone monocles, but those didn't work out so well.
- Neco Touch - This is... you know what, I don't even know. It appears to be a cute arcade game about touching kittens, but sometimes you end up sticking your finger in a pig. Or... something. Look, ours is not to question why. That way lies madness and despair where the internet is concerned. At least it's cute, colourful, and will make you grin. Wouldn't you love to be a contestant on this gameshow?
- Dreamgate Escape - [Parental Warning: Not suitable for children.] People have said they like it when we include escape games in their Link Dump Friday brew. When I think of these people, I tend to think of sweet, gentle, well-meaning souls of come to us for morning comfort and entertainment while drinking heavily creamed coffee out of ceramic kitten mugs. (In other words, kindred spirits.) Well, allow me to alienate all of you by including one that is short but superbly freaky. The goal is to escape (naturally) from the strange, surreal nightmare world you find yourself in, and although it may look a little cheesy, you'll quickly discover that this game has mastered the art of the jump scare.
- Jabberwocky, The Shepherd of Slimes - They never told me the Jabberwocky was so squishy and cuddly! Kind of makes you wonder why Alice was making all that fuss, doesn't it? This physics/puzzle about the titular character trying to guide a herd of dumb-as-dirt slimes to safety in each level is extremely cute, but a little heavy on trial-and-error. Kind of makes you wonder where all the slimes are going, doesn't it? Do you think this is where gummi worms come from?