Link Dump Friday
Every Thursday evening when Jay lets me out of my kennel to give me my scoop of nourishing gruel while he checks to make sure the shock collar is still functioning, I take the time to pen you, our beloved audience, your Link Dump Friday with a trembling malnourished hand... hah! I'm totally kidding, it's the best here. We have a Hawaiian shaved ice maker in the break room, and every night Jay reads us a bedtime story and gives all the characters funny voices. This week we have broken down ponies, sun burns, alien junk mail, mountaineering, and the world's least safety compliant roller coaster. Enjoy!
- Sheriff Sam - This arcade/defense shooter hybrid contains a horse with a broken leg and other stuff you probably shouldn't laugh at. When Sam's trusty steed puts a hoof wrong, you'll have to hold off buzzards, aliens, and more until help arrives. Just point and click to shoot, and upgrade your abilities between waves. But while the gameplay may be nothing to get that excited about, I have a special snug place reserved in my heart for the writing, which is both weird and funny in an effortless, breezy way that makes you laugh when you least expect it.
- PostMan - I'd always heard the post man rings twice, not "the post man has to retrieve your alien mail from elaborate point-and-click puzzle contraptions with little instruction as to how to go about doing so". Literature lied to me! Despite its relative shortness, this little puzzler is big on charm, and thankfully lacking in Kevin Costner.
- Epic Coaster - How do you ride roller coasters? Do you throw your arms up over the hills and loops? Or do you blubber until it stops and have to be escorted shakily off the ride so you can lay down for a while under the t-shirts in the gift-shop? Heavily inspired by Canabalt, this is a stylish game where you try to keep the coaster on the tracks for as long as possible while racking up a high score and various bonuses. There's a good chance you'll lose interest long before you actually fall off the tracks, and the jump button occasionally seems to decide it doesn't like the way you pressed it. Still, if you're looking for some flash in your day, you've come to the right place.
- Holiday Sim - This snarky retro-looking point-and-clicker, choose-yer-own-adventure-ish game claims to be a simulation of a holiday, but I hope for your sake it isn't. Explore your surroundings, get achievements, and partake in such fine activities as gambling, sand castle building, baking yourself into a fine leathery crisp, and shark fleeing. Hooray! Forget Universal Studios, I know what I'm doing for my vacation this year! Painful peeling sunburns and expensive unpalatable tiki drinks all the way, yo!
- Mt. - Have you ever wanted to be a mountaineer? Sure you have. The bracing winds. The terrifying drops. The chapped lips. The itchy woolen socks. The ... wait, being a mountaineer stinks! At least in this tricky little game you can experience all the thrill with none of the discomfort. (Unless you count wanting to break your monitor discomfort.) Just type in the name of anything (mountain or otherwise), hint [enter], and climb away! The controls are definitely an acquired taste, but there's something addictive about it anyway.