Link Dump Friday
Each installment of your Link Dump Friday fix is actually a very complicated process, you know. First, I pore through the many suggestions sent in every week, playing each one for approximately six seconds before discarding it because I didn't like the font they used for the preloader or something. Then I make a comprehensive chart of the remaining titles based on their genres and how likely they are to appeal to a wide audience based on the tastes of each person who visits the site. (Which is done via consulting the tiny camera I had mounted in the corner of your computer area while you were sleeping. Nice pants, by the way.) And then I remember that trying to please everyone is like trying to climb a ladder made out of cake, close my eyes, and draw random titles out of a hat. Then I pat myself on the back for a job well done, and go chase some butterflies in the backyard. For you, gentle reader.
- Battalion: Vengeance - Urbansquall's popular turn-based strategy series and homage to Advance Wars comes to a close in this installment. It doesn't bring anything revolutionary to the established formula, but it does bring some resolution to the plot. If you enjoy scooting brightly coloured soldiers around the battlefield, this is the game for you. Make sure you check out the previous titles in the series if you're new to the refined art of blowing dudes up with cartoon tanks.
- Mahjong Dark Dimensions - Mahjong is one of those games that always gets a free pass with me, regardless of how crudely it's represented. It's fun, slow, tricky, and is excellent for when you're feigning interest in someone on the phone who won't shut up. Dark Dimensions is a stylish interpretation of the game that has you play on a cube you can rotate, and under a time limit. It's all done in soothing purples and looks very pretty, but I can't help but be disappointed. Just a little. Judging from the title I was hoping for a gritty RPG where only the powers of Mahjong could prevent the universe from being sucked into the X dimension. Developers, are you listening to me?! With ideas like this, it's like we're giving you free money!
- Jigsaw.X0.com - Further cementing my image as somebody's grandmother is my endorsement of jigsaw puzzles. We've covered some before, and those of you who weren't busy yelling at us for your damaged eyes actually seemed to enjoy it. So here's an entire site full of flash jigsaw puzzles, most of which feature adorable animals or carefully maintained scenery. Play it with your grandma, or if you need a quick boost to your self esteem after something more punishing. Just don't say I'm the one who told you about it, because I'll call you a liar, claim to be a hardcore gamer, and kick you in the shins before running away.
- Bongo Boom Battlegrounds - Some of you are already charging up your hate lasers for how closely this resembles a certain commercial rhythm-based strategy title. The rest of us are just giggling like monkey and tapping out our orders to our grim little army to destroy our opponents. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Bongo Boom is one John Cusak away from holding a boom box under Patapon's window in the rain. But it's fun, it's well made, and cute as ye olde dickens-e, which makes it a winner in my book.
- Lapinka and the Hidden Shield - While lacking in direction or point, Lapinka should satisfy those of you who like cute things with abnormal ears. I know you're out there because I've seen footage of Renaissance Faires. Avoid enemies and fly around the forest collecting things so you can shoot and stuff that will let you collect other things. It's cute, it's simple, and features bouncy, boppy sound effects and music. Which I'm pretty sure is how Pokemon started out, so maybe you should just get your wallets ready ahead of time.