Link Dump Friday
Sorry, there aren't any games this week. We know, we know. We were depressed too. But there's just too much work to be done around here if we're going to be ready for the JIG Annual Toga Party tonight!... I mean... we're not having a party you didn't get invited to. I... I don't know why I said that. So, uh, how about helping us out with these chores? There's a list right over there, next to the barbecue supplies, the bedsheets, the balloon animals, and the black lightbulbs. Yes, I'm sure we're not having a party! Why do you keep asking me that?
- Pyro II - So the last person who said they took care of this apparently didn't do a good job, because here we are again with unlit torches and flammable items in our way. You brought your ricochet skills with you, right? Aw, buddy, I knew you wouldn't let us down. So get in there and light up all those torches! No fair pawning all the work off on someone else with the level editor.
- Turn Based Battle - And now there are monsters outside. Perfect, just perfect! Well, there's nothing else for it. You're going to have to take this rolled up newspaper, go out there, and duke it out until it agrees to go away. Take your little friends with you. Maybe some healing potions. It might help if you pretended you were in every Final Fantasy game, ever. What do you mean, "It just keeps coming back"? Well, hit it harder!
- Toss the Turtle - [Warning: Cartoon violence and blood.] This turtle should have been tossed ages ago! We mean with a cannon, as far to the right as you possibly can. We can't wait another second, so we'll even pay you to do it. You could spend that cash on things like stronger cannons, weaponry, and rocket packs. Or. There's a two-for-one special to the Bahamas this week. I'm just saying!
- Cronus X - Okay, champ, now we need you to strap yourself into this incredibly fragile spaceship and fly on up to defend our asteroid against the ever approaching armada of evil. What? This is too a job! How can you even say that? Look, you can get some power ups, you know, dodge masses of homing enemies, and we'll pipe in some really slick music. You'll be fine. Just sign this waiver.
- Flix - So if you could just walk our sentient blob of goo, that would be super awesome. It doesn't have any special needs. Just the stars it needs to eat before it will progress to another level. And the fact that if it runs out of energy it turns transparent and can't get over small hills. And its seldom-seen mouth is a nightmarish clash of eternally buzzing, needle-sharp teeth. But other than that, it's exactly like walking a dog.