Link Dump Valentine
February 14, 2009
Bah humbug! What sort of present do you give when you're happily married to your Ph.D in the digestive function of sub-Saharan dungbeetles? "Here my little darling, I bought you a new statistics package!" Here are some other ideas for what to do on a day like today...
Heart Pounder - Similar to Bloons, this is a great game for people who have just been dumped. You have a limited amount of shots to clear the required amount of little smiley hearts from the screen. It looks adorable, but it's fiendishly difficult. Hearts make a really satisfying smashing sound when they break.
Muck About with Cupid & Fate - A surprisingly good advergame designed for Match.com which is aimed at guys. It's based on Arkanoid, with a couple of twists - you're bouncing Cupid on your cloud, and you have to avoid soppy stuff like flowers, hearts and candy. The bricks you break are things like burgers, chips and consoles. As you level up, unbreakable male and female symbols appear among the burgers, and once you've broken all the bricks you need to aim your guy into a vortex in the middle of the screen. It's difficult, and I need to warn you guys that if you are NOT getting your girl flowers and candy, you had better come up with something engrossing for her console.
Make Your Own Romance - Does entering completely inappropriate words into a build-your-own-story game ever get old? I don't think it turnip.
Restaurant Romance - Odd little point-and-click where you're the maitre'd and you're trying to win a beautiful woman away from her lunkhead date. Resort to all sorts of unethical behaviour to show her she'd be way better off with you. JayIsGames does not endorse putting laxatives in your romantic rivals' dinner.
Valentiner - Nifty little heart-themed version of Gold Miner. As the angel (boy or girl, your choice) swings their arrow, shoot golden hearts and reel them in to win points. You need to reach a certain target to get to the next level. If you get one of the stony hearts, it will take ages to reel in and only give 1 or 2 points, losing you valuable time. You can also pick up bags of gold and gift boxes, and buy powerups.
Valentine's: Search for Love - No, not a dating sim - an incredibly frustrating and challenging game where you need to find hearts that have been displaced within an image. Much, much harder than it sounds, especially when the image is of a blue sky with a few clouds.
Meet My Valentine - In this special Valentines Day edition of Difference Games' spot-the-difference series, our sweethearts encounter canine interference on the road to happiness. KAWAIIII!!!
Queen of Hearts Quest - Simple shooter - don't let any of the hearts get past you or the game is over. You can only move up and down, spacebar to shoot.
Sudoku Hearts - Arrange the hearts in a 3x3x3 grid, ensuring that the same colour isn't repeated in any row, column or square.
What/ No link to the complete "Thee She Is!!" saga? You guys never mentioned the release of Step 5. This could be the perfect time =D
Happy single's awareness day!
Somehow I made a gay couple for Make Your Own Romance.....it was hilarious.
Yea, and you need to put the There She Is! saga somewhere.
Restaurant Romance was fun to play, but I'm a bit torn about the clock ticking down during the animations. It felt like the point-and-click version of random battles in RPG.
Okay, now I know JiG hates me. There goes my productivity for another month.
rkr7, they actually featured Step 5 in an earlier Link Dump Friday.
http://jayisgames.com/archives/2008/12/link_dump_friday_92.php
But yeah, I agree that the whole series would fit snug as a bug into this. :D
Restaurant Romance is losing BIG points for the timer. Fifth time through and I keep trying to beat the clock with all of these animations.
Finally beat it, and there's not even a big ending or anything. Lame!
Who keeps laxatives in a kitchen?!
@Themepark: Ah! How did I miss a, and particularly THAT, Link Dump!
Either way, my verdict still stands :D The entire "Saga" belongs here!
"They spend Valentine's Day in The Catacombs. Maggie gives Gerald an iPod with their song, "Mr Blobby", already burned into it. Needless to say, Gerald is thrilled. When they get back, they decide to get a pet lizard. They name it Jade Goody. (...) Gerald can't stand Maggie's habit of nose-picking, and Maggie complains every time Gerald leaves his pamphlet on the floor".
The beginning made me laugh even harder, but it wasn't suitable for children, so I won't post it here. Kudos to whoever did this game.
Heart Pounders:
- Makes you start over from the BEGINNING whenever you fail.
- Has a fifth level where you only get two shots and, as far as I can tell, need a ton of luck to win. (If there's a reliable solution that just needs time to figure out, see point #1.)
- Has a bug where you can win a level and still get 'Game Over'.
Eesh.
Gah! I can't get past the last scene in Restaurant Romance. I've got the
Flowers in my hand and oil on the floor.
I've tried 6 times now :-p
Try
Turning out the lights!
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