Update: 3rd and final chapter now available to play!
(Warning: This game features excessive cartoon violence, adult themes and potentially offensive language.)
The story goes like this. Alan Probe is a slovenly pizza delivery boy obsessed with pipe dreams of becoming a master surgeon. One day, while distracted by thoughts of doctorly fame, Alan smacks his delivery van into a staggering hobo, shattering the poor man's rib cage and inadvertently launching them both on a new and fateful career path.
The fallen vagrant urges Alan to perform emergency surgery on him with whatever tools are handy. Open him up, drag his ribs into place, and sew him back together, easy as pie. Convenient pizza cutter in hand, Alan obliges, directed at every step by his patient and new mentor.
Who is this mysterious hobo? If he was once a successful surgeon, how did he fall so far? What secrets hide in the underbelly of this corrupt and vicious city? Why are everyone's mouths drawn so big?
These are the enigmas of Adult Swim's Alan Probe: Amateur Surgeon, a cartoonish and casually offensive entry into the simon-says-surgery genre made famous(ish) by Atlus' Trauma Center. The gameplay is wide open the same way ducks are eloquent. They are not, and it isn't. Your job is to follow the exact requirements of each surgery as quickly and as accurately as possible. A dashed yellow line means you need to select your pizza cutter and draw along it. An object stuck in a wound is your cue to get out the tongs. An open laceration needs to be stapled shut.
That's right. Instead of surgical stitches, you use a stapler. And your operating surface is a bloody pool table. One of your patients is a man who has attacked himself with a nail gun in order to sue the tool company. His name is Insurance-fraud Claude. If that made you chuckle, or if you're already a fan of Cartoon Network's Adult Swim programming line-up, I think you'll enjoy Amateur Surgeon. If it sounds totally stupid, or gratuitous cartoon violence bothers you, you should probably skip this one.
The game will give you instructions as you play, but the gist of it is this. Choose your off-beat surgical implement from a menu at the top of the screen. You can either click on it or press the appropriate number key, which is much faster, and soon becomes necessary since you'll be under time restrictions. When you've dealt with all of your current patient's injuries and stapled him shut, you win the level. If his heart rate drops too low, either because time ran out or you've done the wrong thing too many times, the patient dies, and you'll have to start the level over from the beginning.
When this review was first written there was only the first chapter out of a planned trilogy. Now all 3 Acts are up and available to play with each one comprising about ten episodes and promising many wacky adventures, including secret levels. If you enjoyed this one the first time around, you won't want to miss the conclusion!
Analysis: Amateur Surgeon is blessed with the finest production values a second-tier television network can buy, with bright, detailed environments and an ever-present sense of self-conscious irony. There's even a halfway interesting story, although obviously we're not talking Shakespeare here (unless you mean Titus Andronicus). The violence is so over-the-top that it's not really gross, but there's still plenty of comically intense moments to go around. Especially the stuff with the chainsaw.
Most of your interaction with the game should go pretty smoothly, except for a handful of places where you'll need to be unreasonably fast and precise, touch-pad operators be warned. The game's biggest flaw otherwise is that it's too repetitive. Most of your time is spent searing wounds closed with the lighter and then glopping a numbing gel on the scar, and you have to do it over and over and over again. Most patients are just covered with gashes both inside and out, and while this can be justified by the ridiculous nature of their injuries, it still feels like an artificial method of making the levels longer.
But what can you do? The point of this game is to tell grisly visual jokes and amuse you, not to supply multi-layered strategic gameplay depth. It does its job well, and the gameplay is actually better than it needs to be. Some of the surgeries have a crazy, inventive edge to them that bodes well for the coming chapters. The developers aren't taking themselves at all seriously, which is enough reason to give this a try even if you've already played both Trauma Center and the Dark Cut series. I give it two severed thumbs up. Get to slicin'.
Alan Probe: Amateur Surgeon walkthrough now available!
Comments (may contain spoilers)
anyone know how to beat stuporman? (he's a secret file)
I've unlocked him, but I can't into him the second time around.
I Love this game and i beat stuporman in the secret file you have to use the pizza cutter first then the chainsaw the second time but if anyone knows how to unlock the other two secret files and when act three comes out let me know.
Oh please, Bum can't be unlocked until act 3 comes out. It's pretty obvious by now.
Do really believe that someone who asks for help because they're stuck in a character has achieved the one thing NO-ONE else has? Makes me laugh to even read their comment.
To Everyone Asking About Stuporman: Stuporman gets harder to cut into with every piece of craptonite you take out of him. It already happened when you were removing the pieces during the first segment (if you did them one at a time), but you might have thought you simply missed the line. The answer is simple: keep cutting over the same line back and forth until you get in.
To Everyone Asking About Bum: The creator already confirmed in the Adult Swim forums that the last two secret files are unlocked with Part III.
Well, I finished both Act I and II, but no A's....(kudos to those who did--I'm impressed)
I was basically a C student, with a handful of B's, a couple D's, and one F. Sad, I realize, looking at everyone's comments...=(
Do I need ALL A's to have a secret patient file unlock?
Is that the only way? Or if I got just BETTER grades would it be possible? Please answer...Thanx
to beat stupord man you scan
remove the stuff
and you have to keep cutting over because his skin gets tougher
in the next bit though
u have to use the chainsaw
I'm actually stuck on Edgar as well. I made two incisions and now I don't know what to do. What's the next step?
How the hell do you beat joe.. :S so hard
Its ACT 2

i need help beating karl i have done it multiple times but he keekps dying by the time i get to the coffee bags i really need help because i cant move on until i get this one done please make a very detail spoiler for me i would really appreciate it
I've been having A LOT of trouble loading this game the past two or three weeks... it freezes in the "adult swim video" blue screen and never gets to load the game no matter how long I wait or how mny times I refresh.
For the people that were asking:
ACT II
Walthroughs for:
KARL (Coffee guy)

EDGAR (Steroids guy)

JOE (Worm guy)

Hope this helps, I tried to be as descriptive as possible.
Ok sorry for this new post, but I don't know why the walthroughs I just posted look like that, I submitted them properly spaced :(
i feel really dumb but i cant beat eddy in actI. i keep trying to cut the yellow line on his collar, but it says im missing it and cutting him. advice/hints/help???
Chlobear99, you're using the chainsaw for that, right?
I'm having problems with Vince. I cauterize his wounds and then they set fire which I have managed to put out. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. What's up with that?
Act III is now available!
Ok this is really weird. I went to play this game at school today and act 3 was available. Now it's not! Whats going on?
Whoops, an admin over at adultswim just posted in the forum to say that the version of Act 3 that was posted was unfinished an mistakenly went live (actually a good thing b/c boy was it difficult!)
i am playing trying to get Bum and Act3... my friend unlocked both and he said that to get Act3 you must have Bum(maybe Stuporman). How can i unlock Bum?
i know that Stuporman you must put 3 secret staples on him and i know where... but what can i do to unlock Bum?
[Edit: Act 3 isn't out yet, as of the time of this comment. -Jay]
A on Bleed:
do him in 14 or minus.
Do you mean finish Bleed in 14 seconds or less in regard to unlocking Bum??? Any response would be greatfully appreciated!
Official post on the Adult Swim forums, as of 2:50pm ET, Amateur Surgeon 3 is out!
If you said you had it before then, you caught the accidental post, or you're lying :P.
how do you kill the bugs on Trent in Act 3? I've tried slicing, picking them up, burning, electrocuting...nothing's working. what am i missing (or not doing right)?
Kat:
Try the chainsaw
@ Kat: I just got one to sqeuak with (of all things) the chainsaw.
Act 3 is a *lot* harder in general. The last surgery is brutal, but very fun. :) Looking forward to hearing what you guys think.
Oh man. I have officially given up on the second man in act 3.

3 times you have to zap that spider! It gets me every time.
You have to hit the scorpions with the chainsaw, each one has to be hit 3 times before it dies. When it dies it leaves poison in it's spot!
How do I beat Trent on Act three, any tips if so, post them ASAP. Thanx people
So let's talk Act 3, eh?
Patient 1: Trent II

Patient 2: Peter

Patient(s) 3: Henchman and Boss

Patient 4: Junk II

Patient 5: Aureola

Patient 6:


Patient 7: Horrace II




how do you beat trent in part 3? i cant zap the scorpions >.>
Okay, beat The Delirium. Unlike how I hoped, it didn't unlock Bum, which means I'm completely in the dark.
Secret Patient 2: The Delirium

See, trouble is is that there's a glitch. If you lose, it seems that the back-left pipe won't get a replacement part once you remove it and you'll be stuck. The only way to fix this is to reload the flash file. If anyone has an Adult Swim account, I'd love if you could report that.
Hey, Black Drazon - is there a way you could make some youtube videos of these? Or, perhaps, at least tell us what exactly the plot is? I'm really curious to know where this goes, but have neither the skill nor the time to play this act right now...thanks!
Okay, is the game working INCREDIBLY slow for anybody else?
I mean, I was able to finish Trent without that problem but once I got inside Peter everything went into a very weird slow motion.
On a different note, Act III is awesome so far!! *claps enthusiastically*
I don't know if anyone else has discovered this, and I apologize for the vulgarity, but

A game review sometimes is just incomplete without a dig at Titus Andronicus. I would like to give a gold star... nay! I give one of those scratch and sniff stickers that your teacher would give you when you did really well to Psychotronic for being the first person to ever bring up Titus in a game review. However, I don't know what it is, but I feel compelled to defend that dookiestorm of a play... maybe it's that movie with Anthony Hopkins...
I need help... In Horrace II, Act 3:

Any tips for that particular part would be greatly appreciated!
Does anyone know how to actually access Part 3??? I've clicked and I've clicked until I could click no more, but it still only shows Part 1 and Part 2 unlocked...
Thanks!
This is going back a bit, but has ANYONE beaten the 1st Horace with a trackpad? I swear it's impossible!
I can't find the Queen in Trent...I get to the lungs, and there's a hole at the centre where scorpions crawl out of, but no Queen!!!
I just can't beat Cletus.
Whenever I heal him I just go to 200 bpm and he dies.
Do you have to wait until the timer runs out?
Big hint for the final mission in Act 3:


I'm getting the same thing as nianqiao - I cut open Trent's chest, kill the two scorpions, get the hole between his lungs using the etchy-sketchy, then all that comes out of the hole are more scorpions. Is there anything else I have to do to get to the Queen?
Lol never mind, I got it. Power of posting! XD
@nianqiao

@bc: Hm, I could probably do some videos but I'll admit, I wouldn't know the first thing about it. What programs are good for that?
@SirNiko: Ah, that makes sense! Chainsawing blind is definitely less dangerous than heart-stopping blind, that's for sure. And it's good to see that Bum is unlocked based on something less than "Get All A's" becuase that would have sucked. XD
I am having issues with Dr. Bleed on act 3. I dont seem to have enough time to get save him. I can do everything except for the tapeworm and someone here mentioned that you can get the tapeworm while its under the skin. I dont know how to get the tapeworm while he's under the skin...can anyone help me?
In my case BOTH Delirium and Bum unlocked after I finished Horrace II.
I didn't have to finish Delirium to unlock Bum.
Arggh... hit send instead of preview.
I have absolutely no idea what to do with Bum. All the tools get me 'Miss' messages...
Delirium is cool

i'm having a weird glitchy sort of problem with karl in act 2.

Is there any other way to get BUM besides Ranks or Score?
HELP! I am trying to beat Bleed on Act III (3) and I dont seem to have enough time. Someone mentioned hitting the tapeworm from under the skin but I dont know how to do that. Can anyone help???
@mixedmetaphor: Certain misses, somehow related to the coffee bag wounds but I've never been inclined to experiment, kill Karl instantly. It seems likely that you tried to cauterize before the wound was stapled properly. It can be easy to get into the habit of stapling small holes only once but occasionally it's just not enough for the game.
Question for everyone who's unlocked Bum: to test a theory, do you have any C's or D's? How many A's do you have? I figure Bum is related somehow to either the player's total score, C/D/E-count (probably "0 Cs and Ds") or A-count. The more info we have, the easier this'll be to work out.
@ Black Drazon
In ACT 1 I have 8 A's and 2 B's
In ACT 2 I have 7 A's and 3 B's
and in ACT 3 I have 5 B's and 2 C's (Trent II and Horrace II)
I don't know if having many A's count but as I said before once I finished Horrace II I got the usual 'Mission complete' message and immediately after the 'Secret unlocked - Delirium' and 'Secret unlocked - Bum' notices.
But then maybe it's just that both secrets unlock once you finish the three acts...
Ok I finally beat Bleed on act 3! I can sleep now...lol
I've beat the three acts, and beat delirium, but Bum is still locked. HELP!!!!! I need to finish the game!
Hmm. Is it just me, or when during Peter's stage in Act III, things run way slower?
I was this close to beating the stage, but the lighter was going as fast as molasses :(
Just FYI, to anyone who is still curious about any of the secrets, here they are, both how to unlock them and how to beat them:
BUM:

To beat BUM:
First, rub gel on the red button to open up the panel (yup, the metaphor is lubing someone's ass, I believe...). Then, gel the crusty brown spots where it looks like there's some damage. Then, vacuum up the brown liquid, and make sure you get all of it. Dump the brown liquid into the batteries using the brown dots on top of each one. Then use the lighter on each dot, and you'll be taken to the battery. Staple each yellow wire where it's broken, then shock each corner, then the power button in the center. Success! BUM will also treat you to some uncomfortable post-op dialogue.
Stuporman:

To beat Stuporman:
Cut him open, and use the itchy sketchy to find the chunks of craptonite. Cut them to the surface, and then remove them. Notice that his wounds will heal automatically after you remove the craptonite; he's really super after all! Back at the surface, the second cut in requires you to retrace a couple times with the cutter, as Stuporman is getting stronger. Inside is the same thing as the first stage, only this time you'll need to use the chainsaw. Finish this up, close the incision, and Stuporman will thank you.
DeLirium:

To Beat DeLirium:
As you might have guess from the name, DeLirium is basically the DeLorean from Back To The Future. This operation is somewhat difficult, as there is a lot of sawing involved, and no way to heal the car if you screw up, so be careful! First, saw open the hood, and go in for a look. For the two front pipes, saw them, remove their blockages, then replace the parts, burn, and gel. Notice that the blockage on the right pipe is a collar for "Einstein", aka Doc Brown's dog from BTTF. For the back two pipes, saw out the broken parts, replace, burn, and gel. Saw out the Mr. Fusion (remember the end of BTTF 1?), then put it back in with the stuff in it, burn, and gel. Finally, saw the line along the flux capacitor, and you're back at the hood. Replace the hood, burn, and gel, and you're done! The "heart rate" of The DeLirium will jump to 88 (as in 88 mph, the speed needed to make the DeLorean jump time in BTTF), and away it goes! The post-op dialogue is pretty hilarious.
Whew. Hope that helps!
For those of you who are curious, like I was, about the plot aspects of the game, here's a plot synopsis (yes, I have no life):

Act One:
You are alan Probe, a pizza boy and wannabe surgeon. One day, while making a delivery, you accidentally hit Dr. Ignocious Bleed with your car. Dr. Bleed used to be a successful surgeon, but, for reasons you don't know, he has now become a cough syrup-addicted vagrant. After patching up Bleed, he agrees to become your mentor, and mentions that he once had a student with your talents. Throughout the level, you help out mostly criminals (remember, you are a back alley surgeon), using the crude tools at your disposal. Some patients mention a surgeon at the old, abandoned hospital, who was driven out of the profession after a number of his patients died. Bleed becomes very touchy when this is brought up.
At the end of the act, Bleed goes for a walk to clear his head, while you deal with Horrace, a creepy guy who ends up having an infestation of ants in his heart. He actually seems to like it...After healing him, a mysterious (and attractive) woman stops by, looking for "the surgeon", but it's not you. When you mention her to Bleed, he seems to think he might know who it is.
Act Two:
You continue to heal mostly criminals, and begin to realize that someone is purposefully hurting them. After working on Donny, a Pimp, he mentions that "some creepy French dude" might be responsible for all the hurt criminals. At the end of the act, you finally have the courage to confront Bleed with his past, and, while he agrees to tell you, it looks like you've got another patient...
Act Three:
Beginning right where Act Two left off, Trent from Act One is back, only this time, he tried to flash some woman and got stabbed repeatedly. Going to work on him, you'll notice that he also has an infestation of scorpions. It's gross, and it sets an appropriate tone for this last act.
Now, the mystery woman from Act One reappears. Her name is Aureola Svelte, and she's the one who's been attacking all the criminals! When you ask Bleed about her, he says that she wants to kill him, but also that he killed her parents. Time to go back to Dr. Bleed's old hospital.
After healing a few more criminals, Aureola shows up again and yells at you for ruining all her work. Bleed apologizes to Aureola for what he's done, but it turns out she doesn't even remember him, until he introduces himself. You see, she was looking for the man who was really responsible for the deaths of her parents: Horrace D'Obscene, aka Dwayne Pipe, Dr. Bleed's former pupil! He went into hiding after Aureola started going after him, comes back intending to kill you all.
The last three surgeries are all part of the final confrontation with Horrace/Dwayne. First, Aureola tried to use a bomb that you removed from Junk to kill Dwayne, but it accidentally blows up on her. After saving her, Bleed confronts Dwayne, and asks him why he went so evil and crazy. Dwayne responds that he has an appreciation for the poison needle that Dr. Bleed has, and, as a parting gift, he injects Bleed with the same poison that he used to sabotage Bleed's patients way back when. Rather than kill you, Dwayne leaves you to watch Bleed die and know that you couldn't save him.
Of course, you can and do save bleed. Dwayne ran for it before you started operating on Bleed, but luckily, he was caught by Officer Hack Brutality from Act Two. Brutality is going to continue with his beating, until you notice something...funny...going on in Dwayne's stomach. As you find out in your final operation, he is infested to the brim with all different kind of bugs: centipedes, spiders, ants, and, finally , scorpions. Finish up this one final surgery, and you can leave Dwayne at the mercy of Brutality, while going to a party with Bleed, Aureola, and some of the patients you've healed. Congratulations!
How do you beat Horrace II on Act III (3) i cant do it!!
I'm getting some weird glitch on the DeLirium where I take out the third pipe and it doesn't give me a piece to replace it with. Anybody happen to know how to avoid this?
Has anybody managed to get an A on Guts in Act I?
I have gotten Awesome and Great throughout the surgery, and completed it in less than a minute, and yet I only get a B. :(
@michael1122, here's my strategy for Horrace:

@skoodge80: that's a glitch for that level. If you want to play DeLirium again, refresh the browser window.
I'm having issues with junk for act 3....
WHat pins are we supposed to remove and how...i cant figure it out and it doesnt work no matter what i do.
this game is so addictive..
i finished act 1 and 2 within a day [although i can't say the grades are great..C average]
i know act 3 has only been out for a few days
but i've gotten past trent..i'm having a HUGE problem with peter..
each time i try to zap the middle to zap the spider, there ends up to be another one when i'm done with removing the poison and fixing the cuts..how can i do this without wasting time >_<
This game is amazing, considering how angry I often got on a few of the patients.
By far one of the most addicting games,
And a need for any gamer.
Truly a work of art.
to unlock Bum you must reach 1,000,000 pointsT
i cant do brutality on act 2. what are the purple cloud things?
I can't beat Claude it takes too long and not enough time. How do i beat him?
is everyone serious about 1 mil to get bum? i have stuporman and delirium..
i beat the whole game but i only have 460k
i can't imagine how many people to redo to get to 1 mil haha
not to sound dumb but what the heck do u do with the balloon inside of henchman... i have no idea what i need to do
Good god... am I the only one struggling with this game? Maybe it's because I'm using a laptop touchpad but goddamn this is giving me trouble... I cannot get the chainsaw right AT ALL for Guts in ACT 1... if you're saying act 3 is HARDER I don't know how I am going to get through this... so frustrating... I might just buy a mouse so I can play this game.
Something like that, shortii. I did get 1,010,000 without getting Bum and had used 69 minutes, but once I improved on another of my patients, I had 1,040,000, had used 68 minutes, and Bum got unlocked.
Argh!
My game is not being saved. All I can do once I've quit is start a new game.
Any ideas why? When I played the game the for the first time a few weeks ago it worked allright.
I'm having some real trouble with Junk in act3. I cut the wires, pull out the pins, but what am I supposed to do next? I know it has something to do with the fuses but what exactly?
back to the beginning -- i'm trying to improve my scores and hopefully unlock some secret characters. it sounds like no one else has had a problem getting higher than a B on dr. bleed, but... i do everything perfectly, and when i finish replacing the ribs, i just get "ok". should i be going faster? putting them back in order? what, what, what?
mixedmetaphor, not that it helps, but know that you are not alone on Dr. Bleed. I asked that same question, and I am still stuck on getting an A for him for the exact same reason. :-S But he's not necessary to get the secret characters anyway.
Leah, you're supposed to burn the fuses with the lighter.
I am working on Animal I need to know what I should do once I removed the bones and the shades. There is a skull and or hips or something what do I do next. Please help love thisssssss game
Peter in act III is impossible!

I need some help with BUM.

Thanks for your help.
omg that peter in act 3 has like a million tumors!!! keep running out of time
Anonymous, you're supposed to fire up the batteries. Once you've done that to all 3 batteries, you'll progress to the next part.
Ok, so i have completed everything exept bum but everytime i go back to do a patient again, to bring my points up, they dont go up. It stays at 604k! Do i have to better my highest score on that patient or what? Anyone got the same problem?
Any advice on Bleed in Act III would be a god send. Can happily get to the tape worm but just shocking him is taking longer than usual and the build up of small cuts always kills of my patient. Did someone mention attacking the worm before it raises its head?
Crauf, I was having a similar problem, I don't know if this will help

ThemePark, thanks for the reply but it seems I'm still stuck. I use the lighter a on all three batteries and after the fires are started nothing happens (i get OKs and Awesomes after lighting the fires). I'm just stuck staring at a screen with 3 full batteries that are on fire at each brown dot then nothing I do will change anything. It's just stuck there it seems like. Am I still missing something or is this a problem?
Thanks for the help
ThemePark, nevermind disregard that last question. I figured it out.

Thanks again
a.k- you do need to beat your highest score on a patient to increase your overall score.

any advice for Peter in act 3 would help
ive been at this guy for 2days now!!!
Thanks bc Your a real help
pondlife- thanks for the tip just got to bum
Heres a great tip for Dwayne that involves not stopping his heart.
Instead of shocking him to get the centipede out, you can just use the chainsaw. But you have to time it carefully, and be very accurate. As soon as you see a new cut, use the chainsaw on it and it should cut the centipede right in half. This way you don't have to stop his hart all the time and makes the mission much easier.
I've finally unlocked bum...I had around 1,080,000 points but he didn't unlock until I had 10 A's. I had used just a little over 70:00 for the entire game. He's really not as great as everyone thinks though...I was a little dissappointed but I'm glad I finally finished the game :)
Just to clarify:

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SHOCK HORRACE IN PART 3 TO GET THE BUGS OUT FROM UNDER THE SKIN!!! If you chainsaw it kills them, then you do the shocking as you have in other levels. This way you also don't drop your vitals down to 0 or 5.
I am having the worst time with Peter on Act III (3) I've been trying to figure out what to do but after so long I give up.
This is what I do I go in fix the sacks. I go in (this is my problem) and I find the first spot of the queen... now should I get rid of the poison then shock her? or shock her and then work on the poision?
Either I run out of time or he bleeds to death... any ideas on how to help?!
help me!!i can't bet peter on level 3!!
Its really ticking me off in Delerium about the pipe thing. UGH!!! It keeps doing it when I'm doing really well.
So, I am stuck on the henchman/boss, I'm almost done, however I have no idea how to close up the heart, or take out the crown, what do you do after you killed the leeches, closed up those holes, and the heart is open with the crown still in? Please help!
I have a glitch on animal!!! I got all the stuf out of the stomach, and i can't leave!!! AHH
HOW ARE YOU PEOPLE MAKING ALL A'S ON THIS? I'M BARELY MAKING B'S ON SOME AND C'S ON MOST!!! I've gone back and redone almost every character doing the very best I can now that I've beaten the game, and yet my grades do not improve! What have the people with A's and B's been doing?
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Walkthrough Guide
They were all fairly straight-forward, except the last one. Here's how you do it:
Intro:
Here's the tricky part:
Posted by: Illarion | February 27, 2008 3:29 PM
How to Beat Eddy in Act 2
First of all, you need to become an expert at your procedures. By now, closing up wounds, clearing out poison, and the rest should be second-nature to you. However, you need to hone them in to become as efficient as (in)humanly possible. Here's a list of special techniques for your tools:
Posted by: Illarion | March 14, 2008 5:13 PM